Two Towers... Part 2, no gimmicks

Two hobbits from the shire head round to Mt. Doom
Round to Mt. Doom
Round to Mt. Doom

Guess who's back, back again?
Gandalf's back, tell a friend.

Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back?
Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back?

I've just slain a big monster, but nobody wants to see Gandalf no more,
They want Saroman, White Wizard
Well if you want magic, this is what I'll give ya
A little time on leave, now I got white whiskers
Some spells I pack that'll slap you back quicker
Than attacks of 10,000 Orcs that look sicker
Then a split personality cooperating
With two Hobbits that don't know how he's operating (Thieves!)
He waited this long to get his precious
Frodo's back, he's on the path, ring on his necklace
I know that you've got a spell, Theoden
But your kingdom's problem is it's overridden
So the dark armies won't let you be,
So your people flee, oh let me see,
They tried to wipe mankind out at Helm's Deep,
Which would be so empty, without me
So, come on and bring, that powerful thing
March back straight to the king, and bring the Halfling
But he's ready, 'cause this ring's about to get heavy
I just settled with the Balrog, die already!

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody, just follow me, cause the population
needs some wizardry, and it'd be so empty without me, I said this looks like a job for
me, so everybody, just follow me, cause the population needs some wizardry, and
it'd be so empty without me.

Little shire-folk, got trees feeling rebellious,
Embarrassed that Saroman rendered them helpless
They weren't planning on being too selfless
Till Hobbits came along, and direction they did switch
An arborary vision that's scary,
The Orcs had a tidal wave headed in their way
To level, everything that stood in its path
I just laugh at Saroman who had forgotten his staff
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe,
That they could see so damn much of the glare but not see me
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
Fix the door and battle, wait 'till dawn and then I'm gonna
Enter in, under the sun as you ride out
The center of attention, back at the hideout
I'm interesting, after some investing
The best thing is my new look's arresting
Testing, attention please,
Feel the evil, soon as Saron's eye can see
The one ring, I do sense to be,
A nuisance to humans, I guarantee

[Chorus]

A stick—it's a staff, I'll go cape to cape with
Any wizard who's thinking he can break it
Just a walking stick, you can get your face lit
Bright as fireworks, when I toked with the Hobbit
And Smeagle? Gollum has a mind as crazed,
You tortured old soul, still a part to play
You don't scare me, you're too bold, let go
It's over, nobody messes with Frodo
Now lets go, just whistle the signal
For my horse, old friend your task is simple
Just take me, you're the best ride I found
Ever since dragons don't want me around
And sometimes, it just seems
Everybody wants to side with evil fiends,
So this just makes a gruesome scene,
but its just orcs, they are unclean
And I'm not the first with a long white habit,
I am the best thing since elvish magic,
To use my powers when times get tragic,
Isengard and Mordor know I've had it
No evil strategy will work,
Send another million out to destroy Middle-Earth
But no matter how powerful the army,
It'll be defeated thanks to me

[Chorus]

Hobbits!