I want pubs, but its impossible
A man like me's, Incomprehensible
a man like me, is barred from places
some men get, intoxicated

I can drink, a yard of ale
under tables, where beer is stale
think I'm spinning, in the bar
drinking up, for me's an art

But I want pubs, just the normal kind
I want pubs that let me in
not call the cops, when I'm outside
I want a pub, that sells everything
thats the drinks I want, from my pub

I want pubs, open at night
serve me everytime, although I'm drunk
though I drink, too much vodka
and I have exposed my todger

But I want pubs, just the normal kind
I want pubs that let me in
not call the cops, when I'm outside
I want a pub, that sells everything
thats the drinks I want, from my pub

Its bringing on, hangovers
but I want pints and not water
I'm ready for the ale and stuff
no more brandy, I've had enough...

a man like me, is barred from places
some men get, intoxicated

But I want pubs, just the normal kind
I want pubs that let me in
not call the cops, when I'm outside
I want a pub, that sells everything
thats the drinks I want, from my pub