I've never done nothin' this completely dumb before (no)
It's a death wish, dude, swimmin' in a stew to catch a beast or fou-our (yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh, first thought it was a joke (joke)
You seemed like a sane bloke (bloke)
But I guess that's a "no-o" (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Surely there's a way to catch these beasts that isn't mad (oh-oh)
Sick of runnin' round hopin' that those big jaws don't bite my na-ads (hey-ee-yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh, I'm not quite sautéed (sautéed)
You don't roast me, that's great (great)
But why must I be bai-ai-ait?
This has to look slightly weird to you, right?
Dunkin' your mate in gra-avy-y
To catch what lurks outside ev'ry day and night
This job's not what I thought it would be

I'm sick of bein' bait fo-or you
Cause buddy, bein' drenched in this goo-oo
Is not what I wa-ant out o-of life
And I just might lose tha-at to-oni-ight
Buddy, bein' bait fo-or you
With it, I'm not fine, that's ju-ust the tru-uth
You really want this thing to-onight?
Ain't there some o-other way, you-ou tool? Just bai-ait fo-or you-ou

Was so happy when you ca-alled me (I thought you'd forgotten o-old me)
A job offer? Thank you, bu-uddy-y (bu-uddy-y)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, all good thou-oughts have been drained (drained)
Cause my whole workin' day (whole day)
Is spent in sauces gooey (oh-oh-oh)
And, sure, my paycheck's great, lot o-of cash (oh)
Lots of hazard bonuses, cause I've been hacked a-and slashed (oh-ooh-oh)
No-oo-oo-o, it's not worth it to me (me)
If it were you, tell me-e (me)
Would you be fi-ine wi-ith
Nearly gettin' eaten up again and again?
Didn't sign up to-o be i-its lu-u-u-u-unch
Won't wear the parsley hat, I hate the stuff, ri-ight
It's a giant beast, not a guest at bru-u-u-unch

I'm sick of bein' bait fo-or you
There must be somethin' else you can do-o
Didn't work the first fifty-y times
There's no way that you'll ge-et i-it ri-ight
Buddy, bein' bait fo-or you-ou
I was never fine with i-it, it's true-ue
You failed to see my falte-ered smile
Cause all you sa-aw, you gia-ant douche, was bai-ait fo-or you-ou

Each day I feel li-ike meat, it ju-ust ain't right
Why the hell's it only-y me-e?
The other employees try to switch jobs, I'd be fine
With that, but you just won't let it be-e-e-e-e-e
I'm the only-y bait fo-or you-ou (fo-or you)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
One and only-y bait fo-or you-ou
What in the hell's wrong wi-i-ith you?

Don't want to be-e bait fo-or you-ou (yeah-eeh-eeh)
I don't owe you any cash, it's true-ue
Don't recall any-y kind o-of sli-ight
That deserves this weird trea-eatme-e-e-ent, ri-ight
Buddy, bein' bai-ait fo-or you
Is bullshit, not fine with i-it, get scre-e-ewed
You want this beastie's head? Tha-at's fi-ine
Bathe in your o-own damn ranch sau-auce goo, the bai-ait i-is you-ou
No more bai-aitin'