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Song Parodies -> "Lawn Mowed I Was Weedin' (2)"

Original Song Title:

"Long Road Out of Eden"

Original Performer:

Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Lawn Mowed I Was Weedin' (2)"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

Cleaned up version from about 6 months ago
Noon whining, drowning the calm,
Lad is mowing on the land,
Somebody simmering with plenty bird bombs,
Rusty mower in his bumbling hands.

Somebody trying to get done by five,
He got premises so steep,
Mowing the rows and in despair he cuts,
Yard of clay and grass so deep,

Violent cars stinking in the bleakness of a windless sky,
Bold biting gnats and mites, mostly bare and thin grass has died,
Dandelions are molding, new swirls in the morn,
Clovers and crabgrasses creeping as they spawn,
And it's a lawn mowed, I was weedin'

Mutant grasses form around a tree.
In a frightful, funny way,
Glowing round the skinny gate,
In its good ol' DNA.

Have a bunch of that potassium rub,
Soakin' pine from jars while swatting flies,
I said, "Gimme ‘nother slice o’ that Weed B' Gone grass kit,
Gimme 'nother seed o’ that green lawn rye".

Green sprays sickening, smells are priming for June,
I'm guided by myopia, root cap says we'll be a-thriving soon,
Cultivate the rolled border, spring is for the rains,
Maturing as the flakes I tried are for my growing gains,
And it's a lawn mowed, I was feedin'.

Black foam, I was uncertain,
The lawn was very near,
But now I laugh and blunder: "What am I growing here?"
I squat, drowning in my sorrow,
And I can't tell strong from slight,
But I live ev’ry spring to repair grassy yards in blight

Guitar solo

Grieving on my old spic n' span driveway,
When a critter on the deck made like a burrowing skunk,
Gloated, quick and light, hell bent, bold and on my veranda,
And now conniving, crazed with spunk.

Went down a hole in the grasses,
A hole like Groundhog Day,
Get the pest, no pleaser, in its tunneling spray,
I said, "It's hard to stop infringing, oh my lawn's a waste
But burrowed underground is a foe that I can't face.

Behold the traps and grapple - the scour of the tools,
But all the smoke bombs in the world are of no use to fools,
And on a lawn mowed, moles are breedin'.
Still losing the battle

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   12
 11
 12
 

User Comments

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alvin - July 03, 2009 - Report this comment
makes me glad i don't have a yard
AFW - July 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good job...very good lines
Mark Scotti - July 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice job of "weeding" the improvements on the parody! Scotts 555 formula should take care of it!!
Timmy1000 - July 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin, AFW and Mark - it's an anever ending battle.
John Barry - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
The green, green grass of home.
Leo Keough - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Holey Moley!!!...Nice improvement over your original!...Excellent display of syllable matching!!...555!!!...(FWIW, get rid of the grubs under your lawn and the moles will find someone else's lawn to invade)
Agrimorfee - July 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) A lot of fun...nice subs and rhymes throughout. Almost Moody Bluesish in its poetry. :)
Leo Keough - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(L) Already voted and commented above...Superb job of rhyming against the OS lyrics!!!...Loved the twist at the end (as in, no good deed goes unpunished)!!!
Guy - July 18, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC05L)

This gives a whole new meaning to "eating your weedies". I can relate - I did a lot of lawn jobs back in my teens. No mowing for this kid these last few months - we are in the middle of a scorching drought - water rationing is in effect and everyone's lawns are the most robust shade of burnt.

With that in mind here are your hard earned tax dollars at work - I work on a federal instalaation and they have a grounds grooming contract. The contract stipulates that each section on the installation gets grooming care - usually being passed over by a ride mower. Since they have a contract the government must allow the contract to be followed to a tee or the contract gets void and would cost the government millions in contract law suits by the contractor. What's really stupid is to see these ride mowers chruning up the dust as they pass over a once grassy area - how they know they are done mowing any given section is beyond anything I can comprehend.
Below Average Dave - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
The syllable and rhyme work on this were great timmy, and surviving such a long OS is cool too (like most Eagles songs it seems, lyrically it's a 4 minute song, but they make it a ten minute one) That said, I have to admit that while it's expertly written, I didn't get the big laughs out of it that would be needed to make a song of this length work if it were ever recorded. It'd record well, but it'd lose interest without major ad-lib stuff during the instrumental stuff (I have a few stinkers like that myself because instrumental doesn't give you much to work with when reading to such a long drawn out OS) Anyway, again I applaud you taking on this song, and you wrote it masterfully (even from a grammar stand point, the title is misleading--I was expecting a horrible grammatic piece from that tile, pleasantly surprised in that regard) I just didn't get the big laughs here that sort of have to be there for a song of this length to work.
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) not that funny Timmy, but I found it quite poetic with some of your line structures and word choices, and a familiar dilemma for the reader is a big plus - 555
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Novel idea, but not really funny. Doesn't help that I haven't heard of the OS. So...yeah.
Red Ant - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo what Dave wrote. Great job here matching almost syllable for syllable and keeping it easily readable.
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good writing. I liked your use of adjectives and imagery.
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo several other thoughts, very well written, great imagery. Not lol funny, but well done.
Matthias - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I also hate mowing the lawn so I can relate this one a whole lot. This was great Timmy, I would like to see you in more contests... Like Artistry, I think you should test the waters in that one.

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