Damn birds makin' noise, always breakin' my concentration

Always gettin' on my tits
Damn birds won't clam up, I wish that they'd shut their collective traps
Sometimes they do sing, would have no problems with that
But the timin' when they do is complete and utter crap, like
"Too-oo-weet" I'm tryna sleep, shut it "too-oo-wee-ee-ee-eet"
You'd think I could close the window 'fore snoozin' but
That don't block the tweetin' (and I get real cranky if I can't sleep, yeah yeah-ee yeah)
And I swear that each day, volume's raisin'
May think their singin' is amazin'
But I don't think that their squawkin's really that good
And so to be quite blunt in my word phrasin'
Birds totally and wholly suck
Still feel that way post-mornin' coffee cup
Cause they're tweetin' all day, each day
Swear I'd rather get hit with a hockey puck
Whether I'm home in bed or walkin' in town
Constant bird-squawkin' gets me down
iPod could be pumpin' Raekwon
But I can still hear that eardrum-piercin' sound
Can put my words under scrutiny
I'm makin' it sound worse and truthfully
You might have kind of a point there, mate
My anti-bird screed might just be approachin' the edge of lunacy
But no, I must be denyin' that
Be me for a day, while tryin' that
Keep a notepad close and write
Down ev'ry time those stupid birds cheep, you'll see I'm not lyin', man
It's a pretty basic point I'm tryin' to make
I may repeat it to excess
Birds keep drivin' me mad
In fact, I'm callin' them a menace

You hear me, all you birds? (ay, ay)
I'm sick of you douche birds (ay, ay)
On my last nerve you grate (ay, ay)
Whether magpie or gala-ah birds (ay, ay)
I can't friggin' ta-ake it (ay, ay)
But I can't esca-ape it (ay, ay)
It's my home I'm livin' in (ay, ay)
I'm not gonna vaca-ate it cau-ause of you (please go)
Some say my co-omplaints are wro-ong, oh-oh-oh (wr-ong, untrue)
"It's nature, man, let it flo-ow (let it flo-ow)"
Let me rephra-ase it (ay, ay), the chirps they're ma-akin' (ay, ay)
All their stupid noises, just one reason I'm enraged at birds

For example, when they're up in the sky (that's a lot)
They'll give you a gift from up hi-igh (fly)
Now your shirt or pants has a splotch that's white (oh god)
Ev'rybody knows it's gross, that's right (c'mon)
Ain't like I can stop 'em, it's biology
Just seems that birds (uh-huh) mostly hit me-e
These are my work pants I just clea-eaned
It's disgustin' so I must (ay) change the subject quickly-y-y-y (gaaa)

Big problem with you birds (ay, ay)
Stop eatin' my food, birds (ay, ay)
Almost hittin' my face (ay, ay)
While peckin' at my Mars Ba-ar, birds (ay, ay)
It's all mine, afrai-aid it (ay, ay)
Isn't yours, don't ta-ake it (ay, ay)
Never gonna part with it (ay, ay)
Cause of this reason, fa-ace it: I-I hate you (you blow)
Once had a sna-ack that you no-ommed, oh-oh-oh (no-ot for you)
It wasn't a gift, hell no-o-o-o-o (answer's no)
Had to repla-ace it (ay, ay), cost wasn't grea-eat, it's (ay, ay)
Still another choice reason that I'm always enraged at birds (I got more, man)

Tad too often that they nearly peck my eyes clean out
Cases pile up, I gotta point out
That I'm thinkin' the birds are plannin' to wipe me out
Not makin' up this, hear me out
Cause those birds are swoopin'
Perchin' on the roof edges and phone lines
It's just like that Hitchcock film from '63
That I haven't seen but I know it predicted my weird life
They want me, mate (ay), today (ay), to die (ay), I know (ay)
Revenge for my chook roasts? (ay, ay)
Do they think I'm a tasty bloke? (ay)
Not in my head, birds spell my doom
I'm not gonna lie down and take it
A plot on my life? Won't make me whine behind doors
That only increases my enragement

Do you hear me, damn birds? (ay, ay)
Not a whimpy-ass nerd (ay, ay)
You wanna eat my face? (ay, ay)
First you'll have to kiss my a-arse, birds (ay, ay)
Come on, I can ta-ake it (ay, ay)
In fact, I embra-ace it (ay, ay)
Food-snatchin' and aimin' shits (ay, ay)
That's practice for you, ai-ain't it? O-on to you (I know)
Aware you're pla-annin' to bo-omb, oh-oh-oh (bo-omb me, dude)
Not gonna work, no it wo-on't (it sure wo-on't)
Waitin', I ha-ate it (ay, ay), I'm low on pa-atience (ay, ay)
Wanna show you noisy jerks the full range of my rage at birds

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, let's go, let's go, let's go