I wish you were smarter.
I wish you were nicer.
I wish you would not kiss,
The way my dog does.
I wish you would wear some Old Spice.
Instead you smell of dead mice.
I wish you could force yourself to say "I love you."
Not "You're fine for now."
"You're fine for now."

There's a whole lot of kissing I wish never occured.
Your teeth are green and breath smells like a bunch of dog turd.
Somehow.
Thinking of you, "hot stud" sure isn't the word.
To avoid being with you, I'd blow up the world
Right now.
Blow up the world.

You don't seem to know much about the things I love.
For my birthday, you got me bars of Dove.
I come home in the evening.
You're in your chair.
One night, I cooked you some supper.
But, you just watched the tube.
Like the guy from Being There.

There's a whole lot of kissing I wish never occured.
Your teeth are green and breath smells like a bunch of dog turd.
Somehow.
Thinking of you, "hot stud" sure isn't the word.
To avoid being with you, I'd blow up the world
Right now.

I wish I'd a kicked you.
I wish my dog sicked you.
You've got the looks of something that just died.
Your "love poems" make me sleepy.
When you kiss me, it's real creepy.
You whisper goodbye.
Then, run nude in the rain.
I don't know why.
Don't know why.

And everyone's saying you're an annoying nerd.
You're about as attractive as a real old vulture bird.
Yes sir.
Ev'rything about you is really absurd.
Where'd you come from, cause you're not of this world.
No sir.

No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.
No, you're not of this world.