(Can you taste that?)
Ding-ding-a-ding-dong
(rock instrumental)
The Reverend Jesse Jackson said we should, not go trick-or-treating this year,
(Give me the candy)
But I don't listen to him cause I want my candy ple-ase
(Give me the candy)
Looking down the streets and houses, when suddenly it changes, Halloween changes,
Where are all the kids running and eating candy this year?

Chorus
CNN says get down with the candy!
MSNBC says down with the candy!
New York Times says down with the candy!
Open up your door, my name's not Osama!
ABC says get down with the candy!
Hey mother sit up don't go down with the candy!
Hey father sit up don't go down with the candy!
Stupid terrorists are ruining Halloween!

Well I went trick-or-treating, and I feel alright now, no anthrax in my kit-kats
(Give me the candy)
I haven't died from eating my milky way or snickers,
(Give me the candy)
It seems you feel a bit jelious, cause I have all the candy, every last bit of candy.
Oh, yeah. No, I can't give you anything you didn't risk your life for sugar!

Chorus

And when I trick,
And when I treat,
And when I trick,
AND WHEN I TREAT,

Come on lady, open up your door, I'm not a terrorist, I don't have a turban, I promise. No, give me Hershey's, its right over there COME ON, my legs are killing me lady, I didn't walk up your stoop to get shunned you bitch! Why don't you just put it in my bag? Why don't you just put it in my bag? I'll never trick-or-treat at your house again! SCREW YOU! I don't need your candy! You probably laced it with anthrax! Want some of my candy, lady? Too bad, goodnight!

Ring-ding-a-ding-dong
Chorus

Stupid terrorists are ruining Halloween!