[VERSE 1:]
Now that you’re out of a wife
Let’s get together
I’ve got a new technique
That you have yet to conquer
Been practicing your stroke for too long
Did your wrist in
Man, it’s all in the hips
Just hold it in position

We can grab a drink together
At the club bar
Had a dear old birdie, but clearly
She was sub-par
You wear your new green masters jacket
Such a swinger
Then I will help you jacket off
Now that you’re single

[CHORUS:]
I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
Make me your mistress (Putt!)
Give me a shot (Putt!)
To shine up your putter (Putt!)
Hard as your iron (Putt!)
Just Do It naked (Putt!)
Go on a ride (Putt!)
You need a new driver (Putt!)

I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
I’ll be your Mrs (Putt!)
Just hit the spot (Putt!)
Hole-in-one master (Putt!)
I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
Try not to break it (Putt!)
Gripping it tight (Putt!)
The eye of the Tiger (Putt!)

[VERSE 2:]
Oh, you slept with Rachel first,
But wanted posher
So then Jaimee Grubbs became
Your new ballwasher
Mindy used ten-finger-grip
When wood was brandished
Cori’s in the kitchen
Making you a sandwedge
Found another Jamie lady
What a flop shot
Holly Sampson up on a couch?
There goes pre-nup
Watch now as your wealth is sucked
And soon disappears
Women simply love to suck
On your hot career

[CHORUS:]
I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
Make me your mistress (Putt!)
Give me a shot (Putt!)
To shine up your putter (Putt!)
Hard as your iron (Putt!)
Just Do It naked (Putt!)
Go on a ride (Putt!)
You need a new driver (Putt!)
I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
I’ll be your Mrs (Putt!)
Just hit the spot (Putt!)
Hole-in-one master (Putt!)
I want you, Tiger (Putt!)
Try not to break it (Putt!)
Gripping it tight (Putt!)
The eye of the Tiger (Putt!)

[BRIDGE:]
No more trophy wives
Just apologise
Tap it, drive it, slice
And play it as it lies
(Let’s get in the sack)
I’m gonna be your baby caddie, yo
(Let’s get in the sack)
As you ask for quiet, lining up so slow
(Let’s get in the sack)
Checking out the way that you curve it masterfully
(Let’s get in the sack)
Go out to a coffee place… you can have a tee
(Let’s get in the sack)
First go was a mulligan, what a damn disgrace
(Let’s get in the sack)
…shout out ‘Fore!’ before you’ve hit in my face!

[CHORUS:]
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
Make me your mistress (Putt!)
Give me a shot (Putt!)
To shine up your putter (Putt!)
Hard as your iron (Putt!)
Just Do It naked (Putt!)
Go on a ride (Putt!)
You need a new driver (Putt!)
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
I’ll be your Mrs (Putt!)
Just hit the spot (Putt!)
Hole-in-one master (Putt!)
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
Try not to break it (Putt!)
Gripping it tight (Putt!)
The eye of the Tiger (Putt!)

Ho... Ho...
Ho... Ho...
Hole in one... hole in one...
Hole in one... hole in one
... or twooooo.

After all of the sponsors and adverts
You’re a champion
Except at vows during the swapping of rings
Stop promiscuity!

[CHORUS:]
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
Make me your mistress (Putt!)
Give me a shot (Putt!)
To shine up your putter (Putt!)
Hard as your iron (Putt!)
Just Do It naked (Putt!)
Go on a ride (Putt!)
You need a new driver (Putt!)
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
I’ll be your Mrs (Putt!)
Just hit the spot (Putt!)
Hole-in-one master (Putt!)
I want you Tiger (Putt!)
Try not to break it (Putt!)
Gripping it tight (Putt!)
The eye of the Tiger (Putt!)