Verse 1:
I'm drunk, lazy and I can't do s***
I never exercise, no not one bit
Moving is considered way to goddamn hard
I eat so much fired food, I need a new heart
I hold the world record for watching TV
Don't try to move me watching footy
A work out is lifting the remote
Just to change the channel over to Rove

Chorus:
I am a slacker
I am so lazy
I can't be bothered
Screw doing that s***
(repeat)

Verse 2:
The local pizza place is on my speed dial
In the last year I've moved one mile
Sleeping is about the most that I've worked out
I'd waste all my energy trying to shout
I'd be terrible use at a crime scene
I'd rock up to a bank robbery in some jeans
I haven't missed a TV show in the last 10 years
50 cars have been made from my cans of beer

Chorus x2

Bridge:
This life's the f***ing best
But i wish I'd spent a bit less
Time off the couch, out all about and had the energy to shout
(but i ain't better than that)
I'm not gonna get up and do s***
(i ain't better than that)
I'm not gonna get up and move around
(i ain't better than that)
I'm not gonna stop watching TV
(i ain't better than that)
I'm not gonna get up, I'll sit down
(i ain't better than that)
I am never gonna do crap
Because I just ain't better than that

Chorus x2

After all of the drunkeness and laziness
Some comes sleepiness
If i surround myself with tonnes of beer
I'll be drunk for the next year

Chorus x4