(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Amiright salutes you, Mr. Guy Who Nothing Looks Good On!

(Singer)
Mr. Guy Who Nothing Looks Good On!
Oh, look at youuuu!

(Announcer)
If nothing else looks good on you,
what makes you think she'll think she does?

(Singer)
Dare to dream!

(Announcer)
Maybe you haven't noticed,
but girls go crazy for a sharp-dressed man.
And you ain't one!

(Female Backing Vocalists)
I don't think so!

(Announcer)
If everything you do,
you do it for her,
then maybe you should stop!

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Amiright salutes you, Mr. Guy With a Temperature Tantrum!

(Singer)
Mr. Guy With a Temperature Tantrum!

(Announcer)
Let me get this straight:
You're from Jamaica,
where it's hot and tropical,
and you went to Canada,
where it's cold and snowy,
and now you tell women
that you've got the right temperature?

(Female Backing Vocalists)
I don't think so!

(Announcer)
Why did you leave Jamaica, anyway?

(Singer)
Rasta gangs!

(Announcer)
Or maybe they were just
so
damn
sick
of your
monotonous
freaking
songs!

(Singer)
Uh-oh!

(Announcer)
I mean, it's so repetitive and monotonous!

(Singer)
Uh-oh!

(Announcer)
And yet, after hearing it about
six hundred and seventy-eight times,
I still don't know what the hell you're saying!

(Singer)
Uh-oh!

(Announcer)
So Amiright gives you a salute.
A one-fingered salute!

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Amiright salutes you, Mr. Fake Jamaican Informer!

(Singer)
Mr. Fake Jamaican Informer!

(Announcer)
We can't understand a word you're saying,
but we know one thing:
We don't need anything
you're trying to inform us of!

(Singer)
Licky boom boom down!

(Announcer)
I'm not personally trying to pick on Canadians today.
Or even on Canadians who think they're Jamaican.
Then again, if Bryan Adams tried to sound Jamaican,
it might be an improvement!

(Female Backing Vocalists)
I don't think so!

(Announcer)
You're sure?

(Singer)
Dare to dream!

(Announcer)
In that case, let's move on!

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Amiright salutes you, Mr. Guy Who's Happy With No Worries!

(Singer)
Mr. Guy Who's Happy With No Worries!

(Announcer)
Oh, great, now we've got an American who thinks he's Jamaican!

(Singer)
Kill it before it grows!

(Announcer)
You're talking to a guy who just got his bed stolen,
and you're telling him,
don't worry, be happy?

(Singer)
Are you nuts?

(Announcer)
Then the guy's landlord is pushing him for his rent?
After the landlord couldn't provide security
to keep the guy's bed from being stolen?
And you want him to not worry, and be happy?

(Female backing vocalists)
I don't think so!

(Announcer)
This may just be the most stupid song of all time!

(Singer)
Dare to dream!

(Announcer)
Oh, God, what a bunch of garbage music!
I can't take this much longer...

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Hang on a second, gimme a minute, will ya?

(Singer)
Mr. Announcer Who Needs a Minute!
Oh, look at you!

(Announcer)
Come on, will ya?
Will you let me stop my head from spinning?

(Singer)
Spinning head!

(Announcer)
I'm warning you,
you give me a minute to recover from these bad songs,
or I'm gonna tell "Access Hollywood"
what you, Paris and Lindsay were doing last night!

(Singer)
...

(Announcer)
Good.
Sorry about the blackmail,
but I really do need a minute.

(Singer)
...

(Announcer)
Okay, let's go.

(Singer)
You're sure, Mike?

(Announcer)
How many more we got?

(Singer)
Just one.

(Announcer)
OK, I'm sure. Let's go.

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!

(Announcer)
Amiright salutes you, Mr. ...
Oh, God, not HIM!

(Singer)
Who is it?

(Announcer)
You don't wanna know!

(Singer)
Cyrus?

(Announcer)
Yeah. Mr. Guy With the Achy Breaky Heart!

(Singer)
Oy vey. Do we have to?

(Announcer)
Fraid so.

(Singer)
Mr. Guy Whose Heart Is Achy Breaky!

(Announcer)
You can take your arms
and go back to the farm!
And take the rest of you, too!

(Singer)
The rest of you!

(Announcer)
Especially that stupid, stupid mullet!
Did you really think women
north of the Mason-Dixon Line
we're gonna be turned on by that?

(Female Backing Vocalists)
I don't think so!

(Announcer)
So take your achy breaky heart
and your shaky flaky song
and get the smelly hell out of here!

(Singer)
Real Men of Genius!