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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Solve One Friggin' Crossword"

Original Song Title:

"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger"

Original Performer:

Daft Punk

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Solve One Friggin' Crossword"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

6-across is seven letters
For "element", stupid crossword
Guess I'm just a stupid bastard
I can't work this damn thing out now
Whether in books or newspapers
I can't solve one friggin' crossword

18-across is nine letters
For "dominion", stupid crossword
Though you might erupt in laughter
I'm just irked at my denseness now
14-across is twelve letters
For "surrender", stupid crossword
Wish I was a puzzle master
But I'm just dumb as a boulder
21-down is nine letters
For "position", stupid crossword
Ev'ry attempt's a disaster
I will never achieve closure
13-across is ten letters
For "extinguish", stupid crossword
I know that it doesn't matter
And it's why I'm such a loner
20-across is nine letters
For "illegal", stupid crossword
All my future hopes are shattered
Since these puzzles stole my focus
13-down is seven letters
For "enigma", stupid
Sure it's not the only factor
But that's simply my prognosis
17-down is eight letters
For "concentrate", stupid crossword
Folks assume I'm always plastered
Cause I ramble and I'm homeless

So behind on payments
Kinda hard to pay shit
When I'm spendin' all my hours
Scourin' for alternate words
19-across is four letters
For "affluent", stupid crossword
I'm no drunkard, I'm a rambler
Cause my brain won't work, it's hopeless
5-down? Seven letters
For "fanatic", stupid crossword
Saving money on my haircuts
Cause I tear it when frustrated
15-across is six letters
For "assassin", stupid crossword
Giving me bad inspiration
For how to deal with newspapers
11-down is four letters
For "video", stupid crossword
Brain's so occupied, I walk
Into walls, bring concussions
Hurtin' harder
Builds rage faster
But it's better
Than tryin' to solve these bastards
I don't wanna but I gotta
Do my best to solve these crosswords
Sunk-cost fallacy, I got it
Don't think that my brain can stop it

Answers: seven letters for "element" = arsenic; nine letters for "dominion" = territory; twelve letters for "surrender" = capitulation; nine letters for "position" = placement; ten letters for "extinguish" = obliterate; nine letters for "illegal" = felonious; seven letters for "enigma" = mystery; eight letters for "concentrate" = condense; four letters for "affluent" = rich; seven letters for "fanatic" = devotee; six letters for "assassin" = hitman; four letters for "video" = film.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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 5   1

User Comments

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Dylan Baranski - June 25, 2020 - Report this comment
Very crafty! I wonder what a 555-letter word for AmIRight would be...
alecia beth moore - June 25, 2020 - Report this comment

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