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Song Parodies -> "7 Days"

Original Song Title:

"7 Days"

Original Performer:

Craig David

Parody Song Title:

"7 Days"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Waiting for the mail to arrive...I could swear that "waiting for the day to arrive" was a song, but I can't find anything I recognise in Google, so who knows.
You know what?
Got somethin' to say
Yeah, been waitin' 7 days
Check it out, yeah

Kinda goin' round the bend
I know the fault is gonna fall on me (oh)
I'll gladly accept that blame
This was avoidable, quite easily
When I had seen
The "predicted arrival" date upon my laptop screen (my screen)
For that package of mine
Brain said "That's a real long wait, you must obsess over it, think 'bout nothin' else for the whole time"
That wasn't right, no
I shoulda tried calmin' down, though
I am a real weirdo
Because a week feels longer than a month, you know
End-of-month creeps up on you, mate
But just one week? No damn sense, it makes
And so my dumb brain told me to watch huge-ass clocks, it's true
A lot of things that I tried to do to distract me before the time that it was due

Monday
Homemade cocktail drinks on Tuesday
Played some Pokémon on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday
Made the order on Monday
Fixed dead wiki links on Tuesday
Banged on makeshift drums on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday

Might lose my mind
Cause my approach to time is flexible like vines
My good friends, they told me options, almost sold me
But I've gone
Ooh-ooh, through all of them, I've blitzed 'em
I'd be more than happy to list 'em (gonna list 'em, straight through, I blitzed 'em)
So I, oh-oh-oh-oh, I, yeah
Stitched a plush bear, redid my room like a dragon's lair (oh yeah-eah-eah)
Lots of block laps, I've ran around, buddy (oh yeah-eah-eah)
Took a lot of maths to run it in there
Cause I don't dare go outside, hmm, just in case I miss my crap
Get "missed deliv'ry" tacked on my door and I hate that crap
Might come off as crazed, that I know
Endless runnin' round like so
In tight circles cause I won't
Miss the package that I've been wantin', longin'

Monday
Cleaned out ev'ry sink on Tuesday
Scrubbed my brain of puns on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday
Made the order on Monday
Did research on zinc on Tuesday
Baked some hot cross buns on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday

Runnin' out, runnin' out
Of things to do, might go crazy, ooh yeah-eah-eah
No more things to watch online
Hear my e-mail chime
An update from the postal service
They're on some kind of strike thing
How rude, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Monday
Painted my butt pink on Tuesday
Ate nothin' but crumbs on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday
Made the order on Monday
Tried out sev'ral kinks on Tuesday
Found some trolls to shun on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, no chill by Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

This was originally gonna be about The Ring, but I scrapped that because for the day that I originally intended to write this, I was gonna gonna be able to do research and write this in a timely fashion. And then when I moved the date to today, I decided against reverting to my original plan cause I couldn't be buggered raising the effort to give a shit about a film genre I have no interest in.

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