May, may, may, m-may, may love to trade things, but not like this, you jerk
No-one here consented to this horseshit, you jerk
I'm standin' in the toy aisle, it looks like last time you were here, you went and spied
Somethin' that was worth a lot of cash, you jerk
Not sure if it's a crime, it should be worth at least a decent fine
To buy a toy to sell for whatever it's worth then replace it with somethin' shite
Old toy that was busted or wasn't as much fun
You taped it back up and got a false refund, so I say

Buddy, buddy, it plain isn't fair, your cruel little scheme
It's not smart at all, no, I-I-I don't like it
Think you should stop toy swappin'
Buddy, you should stop toy swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh yeah-eah
Buddy, buddy, think it's impressive, it's not, wantin' you to stop
You may be cravin' savin's
Keep sayin', I really loathe what you're playin', toy swappin'
Think you should stop toy swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Uh, uh, lemme tell ya, yeah

You try to say it's harmless and you're not an asshole jerk
I've got about four, five tales of small children
Who thought they got it good with their gift on their day of birth
But then they got some old thing with no instructions, now I say
This ain't the first time I've seen some jerk who thought this should be tried
Got it in their heads that, somehow, they're not a jerk even though it's all bogus lies
The truth is you're awful, this shit should not be done
Don't say that the fault's with the employees, bud, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Buddy, buddy, no way is this fair, anyone can see
Whole lot of pure rot, no, I-I-I don't like it
Think you should stop toy swappin'
Buddy, you should stop toy swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh yeah-eah
Buddy, buddy, this ruse is constantly mocked on the boards a lot
Don't call 'em "haters", save it
I'm sayin' that nerd consensus is rare, so toy swappin's
Been judged as wrong, stop swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Buddy, buddy, it's simply not fair to the kids, you see (hey)
Or other nerd lots, no, I-I-I don't like it
Think you should stop toy swappin'
No swappin'
Buddy, buddy (ooh), you're only makin' the shop look like a big clot (yeah)
So quit your crazy ravin' (ravin')
Keep sayin' that it's okay, no, it's heinous, toy swappin'
Need to stop toy swappin'
Uh, uh, whoa-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, how you don't feel like a big ol' jerk's beyond me, mate
Oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, you deserve a smack around the face, get banned from this place
Oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, this scheme's grade-A rotten, I don't care if you dunk, oh yeah-eah-eah-eah
Oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, that toy in some paint, you twit, you missed the point, you dunce, oh-oh

Buddy, buddy, don't claim that it's fair, law may be hazy (ooh)
Still awfully wrong, no, I-I-I don't like it
Think you should stop toy swappin'
Buddy, you should stop toy swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh yeah-eah
Buddy, buddy, some kinda rebel, you're not, need to shut your gob
Motives are crazy blatant
You're aimin' for money hoardin', so craven, toy swappin'
Think you should stop toy swappin', ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh