Have you ever cooked a pot of water on a stove until it had floaties
If you’ve ever burned water then you cook like me
Have you ever had a hot dog that was in the microwave ‘til crispy
If you’ve ever nuked a hot dog then you cook like me

Then you cook like me, I once tried Fillet Mignon
Then you cook like me, but the hamburger turned out all wrong
Then you cook like me, bet I could cover this house with smoke before too long
Tell me, friend, is your stomach really strong?
Tell me is your stomach really strong?

Have you ever used cups for teaspoons in your lemon square recipe?
If you’ve ever had bitter food then you cook like me
Have you ever had your family pray before each bite they eat?
If you’ve ever had a grateful family then you cook like me

Then you cook like me, I once bought pork from Hong Kong
Then you cook like me, I thought wrapped like sushi is where it belonged
Then you cook like me, My wife packed the kids and said we’re going to moms
Tell me friend, is your stomach really strong?
Tell me is your stomach really strong?

Those cook books that try to help, I throw away
This place that is my home I cannot stay
My only hope is to breathe outside while the smoke dissipates

Have you ever slaved for hours over peanut butter and jelly
If you ever killed a sandwich then you cook like me