Took him out, it was a Friday night,
He brought a woman home to get the feeling right
They started making out, he took off his pants
But then she turned on the T.V.
I guess she didn't want to lose her virginity

Nobody likes you when your four foot three
And because you wear those chinese clothes
What the hell is A and E?
My friends say he should act his race
Now he's lost again, Where is my Asian friend?

Then later on, I found his comb
I called my friend Wong on his cell phone
I said I was the cops, and you're going to jail
'Cause the state looks down on the Chinese
And that's about the time that Mong hung up on me

Nobody likes you when your four foot three
And still can't see your head above bathroom stalls
What the hell is raw sushi?
My friends say he should act his race
Where's my Asian friend? Where is my Asian friend?

And that's about the time he walked away from me
Nobody likes you when your four foot three
And still you act like your never here
What the hell is Kung Fu, Karate?
My friends say he should act his race
Where's my Asian friend, Where's my Asian friend?

That's about the time I sent him back to his country
Back to the home of movie star Bruce Lee
With many years to talk online
'Cause there's no room for you in my country
I never want to act his race
Where's my Asian friend? Where's my Asian friend? Where's my Asian friend?