I took her out it was Friday night
I wore a mumu to fit my body right
We started making food and she took off her pants
But then I made some mac and cheese

And that's about the time that she waddled away from me
Nobody likes you when you're overweight
And are still more amused by carrots and peas
What the hell is dieting?
My friends say I should watch my weight
What's my weight again?
What's my weight again?

Then later on, in the drive thru
I called some pizza from a pay phone
I ate some lollipops
And drank some Ginger Ale
This state looks down on obesity

And that's about the time I wished for ice cream
Nobody likes you when you're fatty
And are still more amused by their healthy greens
What the hell tastes good that's green?
My friends say I should watch my weight
What's my weight again?
What's my weight again?

And that's about the time that she waddled away from me
Nobody likes you when you're overweight
And you still act like you're a skinny pea
Why the hell are thongs wrong for me?
My friends say I should watch my weight
What's my weight again?
What's my weight again?

That's about the time I broke the pavement
No one should eat those healthy raisins
With many sodas flavored lemon and lime
Why do I have so many rolls on me?
I never want to see Jenny Craig
What's my weight again?
What's my weight again?

What's my weight again?