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Song Parodies -> "Sweaty"

Original Song Title:

"Ready"

Original Performer:

Black Rob

Parody Song Title:

"Sweaty"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I've done a fair few parodies about the heat (enough that I'm not gonna bother linking 'em all), nearly always mentioning the sweat. But I've never really dealt with how annoying being sweaty can be...UNTIL NOW.
Sweaty are my pecs, sweaty are my thighs

Yo, asshole, where's the air-con? Gone bust? Okay
Yo, fix that thing, I'm sick of the fluid flow
(Aight, yeah, yo, from my pores)

Drown now, about to straight drown
Fill the town with what's found drippin' down
Yo, yo (yeah), you heard me, heat is crazy, yo (sweat flow is friggin' crazy)
Always flowin' (drop lots, yeah)
Aheh, might drown now, about to straight drown
Flood the town with what's found drippin' down (whoo-whee!)

What element of sweat's the baddest?
For some, it's the sheer fact you went and asked this
The whole concept's made of "ew" and I get that
Sure, you're feelin' unwell (ah), we don't need stats (whoo)
But it's just a fact of (uh-huh) life, just one not good (uh-huh)
One that most ev'rybody gets, well understood
If the heat climbs high, you'll make a splash
Whether that's from pool jumpin' or your pores gettin' damp, man

Too damn hot (yeah, yeah), not okay (oh god, this is totally drainin', man)
Now my skin is gonna spray (aaaggh, uh)

Ya'll know how I'm drippin' from the awful pores
This bright-ass shirt can't mask the big-ass stains galore
It's obvious just where the tide's comin' out (where it's at)
See the spots that go dark? That's the tide comin' out (oh shit)
Should wear darker colours, not bought that yet (hmm?)
It's true that the darker the hue, the more heat's trapped in (ha)
So that would just boost the swelt
Prefer the pit stains to pop up than flames of hell (man), man

Too damn hot, really sucks (yeah)
Way more sweat (damn hot) problems pop up (hot as balls, man)

Don't like when my food's oversalted
That's honest (huh), but with my sweat's stink, meal's been halted (hoo-wee!)
Tastes like arse, whole sense of smell's distorted
Sometimes it just drips right in, food's a-salted (huh)
Like I'm eatin' sea which is awful
Don't need to feel like I'm friggin' drownin', it's shit
Wipin' sweat off (uh-huh) between each bite's annoyin' (ah, ah)
Can't have the air-con blow (ah, ah), cools the food down, that blows (ah, ah)

Too damn hot (phew), makes me sweat (hate it, man)
Have I mentioned that part yet (kinda hazy, jokin', duh)?

Aw man, I almost forgot this shite (uh-huh):
My sweat (gross) fills up my shoes real easy-like (uh-huh)
"But the solution is right there: just don't wear shoes!" (heard you, man)
That's a good suggestion, but I can't do that, true ('cause I'm honest as balls, man)
Yeah, man, matter of safety (aight)
Will crush my poor tootsies
Man, like a dam just got busted
When I get home and I kick off these sweat buckets (it's true)

Too damn hot, drives me mad (always pissin' me off, that's right)
When my boss won't let me have fans (such a stingy asshole now, wanna beat his face in)
Yeah

This body function drains my ass
Shows that I (uh) had a prosp'rous day? My ass
When I step (what) in the sun, drip like crazy
Can't do crap 'cause my hands cannot grip, it pains me
I'm surrounded by a layer not quite viscous
Makes me slipp'ry like a greased discus (uh)
Can't cool down, man
I'mma 'bout to straight up drown in sweat now, 'cause my boss sucks ass

Sweaty are my pecs, sweaty are my thighs

Oh, so that's why I've never focused on the sweat. Sweat is gross. Lesson learned.

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Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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