If I were Barack, and I ruled the USA
I would legalize Marijuana
And make sure that there is always plenty grown

I’d let Guys kiss Guys
As long as they don’t kiss me
I’d go bowling with Joe Bidden
And laugh at how much he sucks at it
And how he’s not as good as me

If I Were Barack
I’d follow through with my plans
Like every woman in the world
Has to go a week without yellin at her man

And then I would make sure
Every man gets a Hummer
Because I will lower Gas Prices
So they’ll appreciate my actions
And they’ll drive away with their H3’s in Joy

If I Were Barack
I’d buy everyone a Home (
And then I would feel just like Oprah
Cause my Charity and Awesomeness would be known

I would yell and curse
When the Eagles don’t make the Superbowl
I would make an Amendment for the Cardinals
That whoever likes them will be thrown, directly in jail!

If I Were Barack
I’d follow through with my plans
Like every ugly man in the world
Got a night with Paris Hilton (Actually, that would be bad)

Yes, Change would occur
Or I’d beat up the Cashier
I’d claim the White House was Haunted
So it would be deserted
And I could have it all to my self

I would tell Dick and Bush that they can never come back
And I would… wait… haha, Dick Bush
Did anyone ever notice that?
And if the racists hate on me
I’ll just play rap songs

But I’m not Barack
I’m not the President
I’m not President, oh
So I cannot help the world
But at least I know that Obama can

I hope he will always serve
Us like the way we deserve
We’ll just have to wait a little bit
To see what he is going to do
I just hope he knows how to dodge shoes
If I Were Barack