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Song Parodies -> "Bifurcated"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Avril Lavigne

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Pretty much everybody's parodied this song by now, so why am I? Well it's part of the Parody Revolution which I'm doing, so I can't really not do it just because it's been done. Besides, grievous bodily harm is apparently hilarious.
Uh huh, don't like this
Uh huh, uh huh, makes me kinda ticked
I don't like this
Uh huh, uh huh, not a fan of it

Laid out right here on the floor
I can't stand on my feet no more
If this was just some dumb nerve disease
Wouldn't see-eethe
Alright, the important part
Of the problem here so far
I'm not tellin' you exactly what
So here it co-omes

Beside myself lit'rally, so help
I can see my ass without mirrors, ma-an
Not a trick on you
There's technic'lly two of me-e-e
Cause, see

Look at me and you'll see that I've been bifurcated
A mess on the floor
Not hard to comprehend, it's no-ot that complicated
Got chopped in two
By a sword, an axe or a sharp rake
Split in twain, get the hint, this is no-ot Scooby-Doo
Fakery for cash, you see I'm holdin' my spleen, here, you take it
Gross, gross, gross

I've got organs spillin' out
Yes, I'm calm, I still need help
Seems you're more concerned with how I bleed
Without death, plea-ease
Don't stand gawkin' like a dope
I'm not a fan of blood flow
When it's not inside my nerdy bod
And it won't sto-op

Pick up your cell phone and dial for help
Whether it's the ambulance or your Gran
Who's handy with spools
Of thread, would be good for me-e-e
You-ou-ou see

I'm not much of a fan of bein' bifurcated
It's obvious, dude
I'm not swearin' cause it won't he-elp the situation
That much is true
Could say "balls", "damn it all" but I'll say
To you, mate, that your steadfast stance i-is of no use
Honestly, you'd be more help just stap-l-in' up my dead weight bits
Gross, gross, gross
Gross, gross, gross, gross
Gross, gross, gross, gross
Gross, gross, gross, gross
Gross, gross, gross, gross (mm-mm)

Much "ow", still here on the floor
Blood stain clashes with the decor
I'm miffed cause despite my vocal pleas
You won't lea-ave

And get some help, repeatin' myself
Not much to say, man, when you're cut in half
And I lack the tools
To re-stick my jewels to me-e-e
Help me-e

Somehow haven't passed out since I've been bifurcated
Adrenaline or
Maybe I'm an alien or I've just been mutated
I'm ramblin' dude
Cause I'm bored of this, dork, go away
Find a place that can stitch folks who've bee-een spliced in two
Fast, you twit, your arse, move it before my lungs end up deflated
You're still starin' at me? Why? I'm just bifurcated (yeah, yeah)
Should've gotten used
To it by now, there somethin' e-else that I'm displayin'?
My fam'ly jewels?
Pants fell off and my balls are displayed
For crap's sake, get a grip and call a-a doctor, dude
Cause this is far from the worst way you've seen my junk, I'm just sayin'
Gross, gro-o-o-o-o-oss, gro-oss

The trick with parodies about grievous bodily harm is the tone. I like to be blasé with it because hey, it's just a mess of blood and organs on the floor, who cares?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.8
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   7

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