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Song Parodies -> "Here Without Thee"

Original Song Title:

"Here Without You"

Original Performer:

3 Doors Down

Parody Song Title:

"Here Without Thee"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

So I saw this web comic the other day facetiously suggesting that lyrics for popular songs had precedents in earlier centuries, and one reader's suggestion of some medieval "precedent" lyrics for 3 Doors Down's song "Here Without You" in the comments section and started thinking: supposing some unscrupulous musician were to travel back in time to the medieval ages and start passing off popular songs from our time to people in those times as his own (something like Dr. Evil did with his people in the 1960s in the second Austin Powers movie), how would he adjust the lyrics of those songs to make them readily accessible and comprehensible to his medieval audience? Here is my idea of what the lyrics to a complete medieval rendition of that 3 Doors Down song would be.
A hundred sunsets made me older
Since my eyes beheld the sunrise of thy face.
A thousand lies made my heart colder;
I doubt my perspective can follow apace.
Yet leagues that stand between, percase
Are all as naught now as I dream yet of thy face...

I'm here without thee, darling,
Yet thou'rt on my lonely mind:
I think about thee, sweetheart,
And thee in my dreams so often find.
I'm here without thee, heart's gleam.
Yet thou'rt with me when I dream;
And this night, alone am I with thee... (yea).

I ride endless furlongs
As the landfolk turn aside to bid "What ho!"
Some say we overvalue this life;
Still, I hope it may improve as on we go...
So, yea, yea...

I'm here without thee, culver,
Yet thou'rt on my lonely mind
I think about thee, lambkin,
And thee in my dreams I ever find.
I'm here without thee, heart's root.
Yet thou'rt with me when I dream;
And this night, love, alone am I with thee...

All that I may know, (yea) anywhere I may go,
I ride hard, yet none will take away my love;
So when our last night falls,
And when all is said and done,
I ride hard, yet none can take... away... my love...
Woe, woe, woe... woe... woe...

I'm here without thee, poppet,
Yet thou'rt on my lonely mind.
I think about thee, sweeting,
And thee in my dreams, beloved, find.
I'm here without thee, heart's queen,
Yet thou'rt with me when I dream;
And this night, love, alone am I with thee...
Woe, yea...
Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe...
Of course, this would be an excellent exercise for that new ChatGPT AI program that's been in the news so much lately: "ChatGPT, give me the lyrics for Bananarama's song 'Cruel Summer' if Geoffrey Chaucer had written it."

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 5   13

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