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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Howard Jones

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


Cross That Line album at Amazon.com
Howard Jones', "Everlasting Love"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I need a friend and a lover to buy.
The Real Lyrics:
I need a friend and a lover divine.
The Story: Not so funny, but I was with a friend and we both were laughing because we thought this song was about prostitution. That was back in '89. - Submitted by: Bill
Howard Jones', "New Song"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Don't crack up. Man child brain.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't crack up. Bend your brain.
The Story: I was listening to this song in my room one day and my mom walks in and asked "did that just say man child brain?" And I just laughed really hard and said no. - Submitted by: Krissi King
Howard Jones', "New Song"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Say goodbye to non-standard fears.
The Real Lyrics:
Say goodbye to long-standing fears.
The Story: This lyric resonated with me, since as a young adult I had some 'non-standard fears' of my own (which later turned out to have names after all, various anxieties verging on social phobia). - Submitted by: Eric True
Howard Jones', "New Song"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Throw off your mantel chains.
The Real Lyrics:
Throw off your mental chains.
The Story: Mantel, as in fireplace. So, mantel chains - chains attached to stone mantelpiece, weighing you down. Sounds feasible to me... kind of... - Submitted by: Stuart Steedman
Howard Jones', "No One Is To Blame"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Inch of water, inch of water.
The Real Lyrics:
And you want her, and she wants you.
The Story: My best friend and I still laugh about this. One Christmas I gave her an inch of water (a bottle with a ruler in it and one inch of water) just to make her laugh. - Submitted by: NATALIE LENKIEWICZ
Howard Jones', "No One Is To Blame"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You can look in the mirror
but you just can't see
The Real Lyrics:
You can look at the menu
but you just can't eat
The Story: Some dumb woman who opened for Howard at a gig at a club he was playing at was saying how much of an honor it was to open for Howard Jones, and went on to recite the lyrics from her favorite song, No One Is To Blame. And she misquoted it, (above)! Everyone around couldn't believe she was a fan and didn't even know the words! - Submitted by: Mandy
Howard Jones', "No One Is to Blame"
The Misheard Lyrics:
If you want to
The Real Lyrics:
And you want her
The Story: I was hearing it like "If you want to". - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Howard Jones', "Things Can Only Get Better"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And do you escape like you?
The Real Lyrics:
And do you feel scared? I do
The Story: Was hearing it that way back in the day. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Howard Jones', "Things Can Only Get Better"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And do you feel scattered?
The Real Lyrics:
And do you feel scared? I do
The Story: First I just heard it as "And do you feel scared?" and then I realized there was another syllable or two at the end that I couldn't quite make out, so I thought maybe it was actually "scattered." - Submitted by: Patrick
Howard Jones', "What Is Love?"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Modern love anyway
The Real Lyrics:
What is love anyway?
The Story: I swear this was a reference to David Bowie’s hit “Modern Love”. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Indexes: [#] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [Y] [Z]

New entries in this section are currently reviewed by Brian Kelly. Previous editors (if any) are listed on the editors page.

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