Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Billy Joel

The Story: When I first heard this lyric, I was like, "Why is he singing about somebody named Corey Mason?" It was hilarious. - Submitted by: Gary Hartman

The Story: In an otherwise serious song about economic decline in America's rust belt, Billy Joel starts gets into an argument about marksmanship. Stay on topic, dude. - Submitted by: Jeff Koplow

The Story: As kid I found myself wondering, "Who the hell is Zero-man?" - Submitted by: Jeff Koplow

The Story: My wife and I always wondered what a 'noomer rookin' was. - Submitted by: Andrew Priest

The Story: When I told my college roommate about this misheard lyric, he laughed uncontrollably for about an hour!!! - Submitted by: Floyd G.

The Story: When I told my college roommate about this misheard lyric, he laughed uncontrollably for about an hour!!! - Submitted by: Floyd G.

The Story: The problem is that the accents in the music are opposite to the accents in the word American, so it sounds like um-air-rick-un. So my brain kept wanting to make words that had accents on those syllables. Even now that I know the correct words, whenever I hear that song it's just plain annoying to have the word 'American' mispronounced like that. - Submitted by: Orson Scott Card

The Story: My husband sang this one day and I almost fell out of the car! He argued with me that he was right. Too funny! - Submitted by: Jeanne Miller

The Story: When I was growing up the local radio station had a contest where if you listened to the station for an hour and wrote down all the songs they played that hour and called in and were lucky enough to be the lucky caller you could win a free album. I dutifully listened to the station and rushed the phone to call in my answers. One of the songs on the list was the just released "Allentown", which I had never heard before. I didn't know the title, just had listened to the lyrics and the song and could have sworn that the song was titled "Out of Town". I called and happened to be the lucky caller only to lose when I got to that song on the list, live on the air. Total fail. - Submitted by: Mark

The Story: Apparently we hear "science" instead of "silence", and vice versa. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: We my kids were little we would all sing along with the radio in the car. When my son was around 7 these were the lyrics he sang. - Submitted by: Ann Dozier

The Story: Lace was a 1980s TV series, but this was a late '70s song. D'oh! - Submitted by: Davo

The Story: The misheard version I've quoted was not only my first impression of these lines; it was the only guess I could come up with until I checked a lyrics site. On finding the right lyrics, I got something of a laugh out of the whole thing. I was thinking -- however unappealing it might be to squirt Dom Perignon up one's nose, it might be safer and less of an addiction risk than what the addressee was presumed to be doing with that spoon! - Submitted by: Karen Smith

The Story: I heard the b word lol - Submitted by: Nico Rickicki

The Story: I've been listening to this song almost all my life and I just -- at 28 years of age -- figured out the correct lyrics. My brother was the one who clued me in. He now refers to his index finger as his big shot digit. - Submitted by: Kate Harold

The Story: This was actually what my 9 year old son was heard singing in the car when we were listening to BJ's greatest hits. - Submitted by: Sevedra Wimbitt

The Story: Butt Pinch? Really? What??? Or F'cked B'tch??? Eww. Old type too. Grosss. And the last one is just no. Yuck. - Submitted by: Ellie

The Story: I first heard this song my freshman year in college. Back in Sept or October of '85 I was invited by a friend to his hometown (Central Valley, NY) to a battle of the bands and one band covered this song. I had never heard it before. The singer sounded like he was singing Dr. Jock will get you high tonight. My friend laughed out loud when I asked him if that's what he was saying. He then corrected me and said it was a Billy Joel song... - Submitted by: Ian Snydet

The Story: I figured even the cheapest hookers were out of his price range. - Submitted by: Ras

The Story: It sure sounded like he WAS a victim of design - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: Sounded like it WAS hardly ever hurt. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: When I would sing to the song, it didnt even occur to me that someone would be singing about standing on all fours. Finally, I realized how stupid that sounds and was able to figure out what he was really singing about! Boy did I feel stupid for that one!! - Submitted by: Katie Shaughnessy

The Story: I often confused "seam" with "steam". - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: The power company in our city is Detroit Edison, and when I was little I though this song was about the Edison Man. - Submitted by: Bridget

The Story: I eventually figured out the correct lyrics from context...I was wondering, in a song about Rock n' Roll, why Billy Joel was talking about Immanuel Kant and sandwiches, especially with such (respectively) inappropriate colours as pink and bright orange. - Submitted by: Kelpylion

The Story: Kind of sounded like it was phony. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: It was actually my brother who heard it this way. We were talking about the song, and he mentioned these lyrics. He was shocked when I told him what the real lyrics are. - Submitted by: Daniel

The Story: Sidewinders are snakes and not shoes as far as I know but why the hell is he talking about snakes? - Submitted by: Dayna

The Story: My girlfriend is convinced that this is what Billy Joel was singing. I asked her if Eddie Vedder was even born when this song came out. Ohoho, the times we share. - Submitted by: Olvan The Terrible

The Story: I'm not sure about the word "right." It comes up that way in searches. It sounds like Wayne to me. - Submitted by: Doug H. Nuts

The Story: My college roommate asked me what 'saspawilma' was, and I said What? And he said, you know, in that Billy Joel song he says 'I said I loved you, sasspawilma!' - Submitted by: Robert

The Story: I said the above misheard lyrics and my daddy (who committed suicide) scolded me, although I know not why. - Submitted by: Isac

The Story: Vermillion is a kind of reddish-orange colour - Submitted by: confused

The Story: I just assumed a Carl Simpson was a brand of flavored cigar. - Submitted by: John

The Story: My sister was singing this song. When I finally heard what she was saying was 'kick in the face', we rolled on the floor and laughed hysterically. We were so young then, she didn't know. Still gives me a chuckle when I think about it! - Submitted by: Leslie

The Story: ...as opposed to 6' 6" or 6' 8". I deduced that this was an oblique reference to Billy Joel getting cut from the high school basketball team, which was an insult to his manhood. After all, if you were 11 years old and absolutely certain that the correct lyrics are, "You're about six-foot-not-enough", what would your interpretation be? - Submitted by: Jeff Koplow

The Story: Could have easily sworn that Billy Joel referenced Eric Clapton! - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: Not on the original recordings, but was included on the live version released in 81 on "Songs In The Attic" - Submitted by: Nick H

The Story: Saw a froggy in the pond and heard this song thinking maybe only this creature would survive a complete disaster - Submitted by: stuart

The Story: It kinda sounded like he said it near the end of the song! - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: When this song was first released and popular, I was at a Christmas party with my co-workers. My co-worker's daughter got up to sing this song for all of us. She was about 11 at the time and knew every single word, except the main title/chorus of Modern Woman. - Submitted by: Albert marino

The Story: I figured it was some oddball name for a bar. Like Electric Fetus. - Submitted by: Matt H

The Story: I was sitting there listening to his song. Every time that part would come on, I tried to make out what he was saying. I even put the close caption on once. I was doing something else when that song came on. When I heard that line, my head snapped up. I kept waiting for him to repeat it. Every time it comes on I keep telling myself, 'No, that's not what he said, you're hearing things.' [Ed.'s note: I assume that Arleen is not a racist.] - Submitted by: Arleen

The Story: I just heard this song on 95.9 The Fox (on-line), afternoon drive DJ, Matt Zako just played it. And it came back to me, that I saw this misheard lyric printed in one of the mondegren books a few years ago, and I have to admit when this song first came out in the late 1970's, I thought Billy Joel actually sang this line (because I couldn't understand at the time, that he was singing about the city of Hackensack). -:) - Submitted by: Peter

The Story: The Iraq War was a big thing on the news the first time I heard this song so I just figured that he was talking about a country in the Middle East because that's what it sounded like and not an actual city. - Submitted by: Dayna

The Story: Billy Joel currently serves as a mailbox for an overpriced bungalow in Suffolk County. - Submitted by: Ralph Goldenmouth

The Story: For decades, I have associated this lyric with your typical, crazy, hardheaded, Italian mother...namely mine. - Submitted by: Ed Perkins

The Story: He over-enunciates the "t" in "beat." I tried googling "Sergeant O'Leary is walking the Beach" to find the song... I figured O'Leary must have been a retired army Sgt. who had nothing to do with his time, so he became a bartender to ignore his PTSD or something. It makes sense with the rest of the song... - Submitted by: A nanny mouse

The Story: So, 3 people gave me different lyrics here. 1st, my son said, Mama, the guy in the song is savin' his panties for someday! Gross! Then, a lady I know at work says, so, never let your kids listen to Billy Joel. He says Anthony works in the grocery store, savin' his penis for someday! I guess he needs a wife... but still do not let your kids listen to this. Then, I thought it was "savin' his pennies for Sunday" because at mass, they do a collection, so maybe he gives money to the church on Sunday. - Submitted by: Issa

The Story: Wasco is a small city in Kern County, California. It is about 20 miles northwest of Bakersfield. So, anyway, when I was 8 years old, when I heard this song on the radio, I thought that Billy Joel was singing about a friend selling his house and moving to Wasco. If you drive down Interstate 5 down to Los Angeles from the Bay Area where I am from, you will see exit signs for Wasco, when the freeway goes through Kern County. I knew where Wasco was even at age 7 (I have a BA degree in Geography, no surprise). There are 25,000 people living there (4,000 of them in a state prison nearby). The funny thing is I never thought about the idea of a person living in Wasco, while giving a stand up routine in Los Angeles (L.A.). The distance between Wasco and Los Angeles is about 135 miles, which would be a very long commute!! Then on the other hand, there are lots of people who commute between Lancaster / Palmdale in the Antelope Valley to Los Angeles, and that's about 70 or 80 miles, so I guess anything could be possible. Just a little story. I didn't realize the lyrics were wrong till I was in my teens or even later. - Codi Preston D. - Submitted by: Codi Preston D.

The Story: I thought maybe "Wee-yoost" was his friend's name and he lived on the west coast. - Submitted by: Jennifer

The Story: I thought he said ballet! - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: I heard this song playing and distinctly thought I heard "vagina town", but quickly realized it must be a reference to Chinatown. Still I couldn't understand the entire line. So I checked a lyrics site and found the correct lyrics. - Submitted by: Chelsea Turtle

The Story: Chris Evert was a popular tennis player at the time, so I figured Billy was being topical. - Submitted by: Mike

The Story: When I found out Billy Joel is Jewish, I realized why my Catholic friends found the song offensive. See, I thought Joel was Italian, which would make him a Catholic; and thus, I assumed he was criticizing his own religion. - Submitted by: John

The Story: I sang this lyric one time in a Bill Cosby-like voice. I got made fun of by my friends...a lot. - Submitted by: Devon

The Story: I wonder how, in the future, Billy Joel lived a semi-charmed kind of life. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: Although fairly familiar with this song, I'd never listened closely to all the words. While sitting in a Subway sandwich place eating with friends, I heard this playing on the radio in the background. All the words I noticed up until the last verse were pretty much what I would have thought they were. But in the last verse, I noticed the words seemed less familiar, and the above mishearing is the best I could make of them, playing as they were in the background, competing to be heard with the conversation of my friends. - Submitted by: Regina Olsen

The Story: When I was a little kid, this song used to confuse the h*** out of me. I wondered how a piano could sound like a comic book if they didn't make any noises except for when you turned the pages. - Submitted by: Michelle Chevallier

The Story: For so long, I thought this was the correct line, since a spinnet is, after all, a type of piano. - Submitted by: R.j.s.

The Story: I've always found some Billy Joel lyrics here and there that sound differently than what they actually are. I bet it has to do with his New York accent. - Submitted by: Patrick Anthony

The Story: Kind of sounded like it could have been Saturday - since that's when it takes place. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: My 12 year old daughter had listened to my Billy Joel C.D. Later that day, while we were driving in the car, she asked me why the old man in the bar was 'making love to his erotic Aunt Jen'. I nearly wrecked the car laughing so hard. - Submitted by: Kalyn Johnston

The Story: My very sweet Autistic son Bobby came up with lyric (along with others) while singing along to it about 10 years ago. - Submitted by: LAURA GOODWIN

The Story: My friends and I were on our way to school one morning when 'Piano Man' came on and i quietly sang along. one of my friends was humming with it too, but stopped when she got the the 'tonic and gin' line to ask me if it said 'making love to your chiny-chin-chin.' She looked confused and appalled at the thought. I corrected her, but not before nearly swerving into the other lane because I was laughing so hard. - Submitted by: Renee

The Story: Child hood. I really thought it was cool that Jen played the harmonica... - Submitted by: Jen

The Story: My brother in law, who is a professional jazz pianist corrected me on this when I used this song to help describe some of his gigs to my wife. I assume he was right and have yet to do any research to verify. - Submitted by: Fang

The Story: I used to sing it this way alll the time when I was a little kid. Once it came on in the car and I just belted out my own lyrics confidently and my Mom started laughing hysterically. It's still a family joke; if the song comes on when my family's around, I sing it my own 'special' way. - Submitted by: Sarah Rehim

The Story: Growing up I thought these really were the lyrics and trying not to visualize a dirty bearded old guy sticking his you-know-what into a tin can with sharp edges that originally held some sort of alcoholic beverage. It's a seriously freaky image and I was really weirded out about what people did in bars for a long time. I still can't unhear it decades later even when I know the real words! - Submitted by: Bukk Nukkugab

The Story: - Submitted by: Chris

The Story: I couldn't believe they could get that one on the radio. - Submitted by: Bax

The Story: It's only when I came to this site that I saw it was a hot new rent-a-car and not a Honda... oops! - Submitted by: Philsister

The Story: I honestly did mishear this... then one day recently I wondered why a guy would have a name that was part Italian (Di___) and part Jewish (Levy). Didn't make sense so I looked up the lyrics, boy was I embarrased for all the times I've sung this loudly with the windows open! With Billy Joel's Long Island accent and the faster singing, it really got me confused. - Submitted by: Jess

The Story: My mother had the Billy Joel Greatest Hits tape when I was a teenager, and we’d listen to it when we went shopping. Most of the songs were unfamiliar to me, so one day I asked her if she could turn the tape over so we could hear “That song about Mr. Renetti”. She started laughing so hard she almost had to pull over as she explained it was actually BRENDA and EDDIE, with a thick New York accent. I’m from Minnesota so I’m somewhat excused, right? Well, maybe not. - Submitted by: Sarah Perry

The Story: For years I thought he slipped in that "I" to differentiate himself from Brenda and Eddie - they were on top of the world, while he (narrator) was on top of the diner. - Submitted by: Mike Hotter

The Story: When my daughter was little, we were riding in the car, and this song came on. After a while, my daughter asked, 'Daddy, what's a weasel woman?' - Submitted by: Tom

The Story: Maybe it's stretching it a bit to count this, because it happened when I already well knew the correct words to the line. But one day, listening to the car radio and hearing this song the 'misheard' lyrics just 'clicked' in my mind, like that wery well could have been what I was hearing, if I didn't know better. It was a sudden flash of thought (simultaneous with the real lyrics) that made me suddenly break into laughter and startle everybody else in the car until I explained what had happened. - Submitted by: Lauren Overstreet

The Story: A friend I told about this misheard lyric laughed and said, "You die after you earn your degree..." - Submitted by: Kathy Evans

The Story: When you're convicted of a crime, you can earn a reprieve, not a degree. - Submitted by: Fionnbharr

The Story: I realized 'a hit of bromine' made no sense, but since this was before I had the studio version of the song and before the days of lyrics sites on the web, I really didn't know what he was saying. - Submitted by: Errol M. O'Neill

The Story: I just assumed 'full brahma' was a hipster's term for someone well-dressed. I finally learned about Beau Brummell (1700s fashion icon and arbiter of style) this year (2006), after having done an article on him. It all makes sense now. - Submitted by: Robert

The Story: Either way, that's not good grammar. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: I had always imagined those old Meineke auto service center commercials starring George Foreman, whenever I heard this line. - Submitted by: Al

The Story: I used to think that this was what he said at one point in the song. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: "Binyah" refers to Binyah Binyah Polliwog, the main protagonist of the Nick Jr. TV show "Gullah Gullah Island". "The Vineyard" refers to Martha's Vineyard, an island in Massachusetts. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: I shared a room with my brother. He sets his stereo alarm to wake up playing a CD. One week he had a Billy Joel album in the alarm, and it would play 'The Entertainer' every morning. I thought the lyrics were 'I am the end potato' Of course, I thought that was a dumb song. Towards the end of the week, I was grumpy and yelled, 'I'm sick of listening to that stupid end potato song!' He was confused and asked me what I was talking about. I sand in a mocking voice, 'I am the end potato, I am the end potato - it's such a dumb song!' He laughed for weeks. - Submitted by: Kevin

The Story: I can't sing, but I was singing along pretty loudly to the radio when my (former) husband upon hearing my mis-singing said, 'Deb, what did you just say?' So, like a little kid, I looked down and very quietly said, 'I don't care what concert winds it brings'. He said, 'No, it's 'Consequence'. Then we got a divorce. Just kidding. - Submitted by: Debra Jane Zeller

The Story: This was my daughter's favorite song as a toddler, no doubt because of how much it tickled her daddy and me to hear her screaching, 'What else can I DOOOO? I so EXPIRED by youuuu!' Until I die, I'll never use the phrase, 'You kill me!' It's 'I so expired by you.' - Submitted by: Christina Dunigan

The Story: When I was younger, I heard the song a few times, but...I thought it was about calling to his girlfriend to come with him or something. - Submitted by: Ra'akone

The Story: When I first listened to this, I thought, 'Man, the town must really have a shortage of suitcases or something!' - Submitted by: Larcen Tyler

The Story: I used to think he said "bacon". - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: I saw this on my karaoke vcd - Submitted by: Albz

The Story: I heard this being played by the DJ at dancing club. I'd never really listened to all the lyrics of this before. When it came to these lines, I clearly thought it said "She'll say I'm not so drunk". I thought something sounded not quite right about that, even though it sounded that way and I couldn't think of any alternate interpretation at the time. So when I got home, I checked a lyrics site, finding that, indeed, there was reason to think it didn't sound right, as the real lyrics say "tough" instead of "drunk". But don't think I'd ever have guessed "tough" as the correct word there without checking the lyrics on line. - Submitted by: Karen Smith

The Story: I kept debating between "light bread" and "white bread". - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: Sounded like he was telling the future of a singer of Rihanna or referencing someone from a more recent Fleetwood Mac song. - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: Actually, it was my sister who misheard the lyric. It was hilarious. She sung it so earnestly, and, to this day, I can't figure out what she thought it meant. Her way, it sounds like a companion piece to 'Puff The Magic Dragon.' - Submitted by: Jen

The Story: I thought it he was mispronouncing "pyromania," and figured it was be a reference to Guy Fawkes Night (bonfires) or The Troubles (bombings). - Submitted by: Liz

The Story: A local production company had purchased mechanical rights for this and a number of other songs to put together a stage musical production and the producer printed these as the lyrics without ever reading the lyrics sheet in the cd jacket. Not only did I have to explain to him what the actual lyric was, but what Thalidomide was as well! - Submitted by: J. R. Simons

The Story: This is actually off of a karoke disc a friend of mine has. That is what really pops up on the screen "Edsel and Sunoco". - Submitted by: Mike Juran

The Story: When I was 13 years old, I heard this song premiere on the radio. I didn't know it was by Billy Joel. I assumed it was a British band saying that England was better than every other country. - Submitted by: MrBlondNYC

The Story: I thought Billy Joel was a Cowboys fan since they drafted Troy Aikman in 1989, when the song was released. I figured maybe he was born around the timeframe of the other events (1961). Turns out he was born in 1966. - Submitted by: Miguel

The Story: I never actually heard the lyric, I found it on another site for misheard lyrics, I was just surprised it wasn't added here yet. - Submitted by: Luke M

The Story: This was not something I misheard, but saw on a karaoke DVD. Don't these people hire quality controllers? I have yet to hear of one Thalidomyde child being convicted of murder. - Submitted by: neptunevsmars

The Story: Ronald Reagan had as a prominent member of his cabinet, James Baker, and I wondered at first why he was mentioned in the song. - Submitted by: Michael

The Story: This song predates Facebook by 15 years (1989-2004), the lyric also predates it by 46 years (1958-2004), and "California baseball" refers to the Dodgers' move from Brooklyn to Los Angeles in 1958; the reference to the Dodgers are also mentioned earlier in the song, in the year 1955 ("Brooklyn's got a winning team"). - Submitted by: Cody Finke

The Story: The misheard version is what I "heard" first on listening to this song. I guess since other U.S. presidents are mentioned in this song, the idea of Eisenhower popped into my mind accordingly. Once perceiving that, I thought I clearly heard "vaccine" afterwards. Was Eisenhower one that someone thought we needed a vaccine against? I wouldn't know, being too young to have experienced the Eisenhower era. I guess every president always had his detractors! Anyhow on later hearings of the song I did catch it mentioning Einstein but never suspected that was what I misheard as Eisenhower until I learned the correct lyrics from a lyrics site. Nor was it at any previous time that I realized that James Dean was mentioned in the song. - Submitted by: Karen Smith

The Story: Searching "shostagon" on Google surprisingly returns 0 results, so I thought that is might have been the name of some secret operation, until I realized that it wasn't the real lyric. - Submitted by: Nathaniel Brown

The Story: I thought Billy Joel was singing about the Boston Bruins player David Pastrnak rather than the Russian writer Boris Pasternak. - Submitted by: Tommy

The Story: Would have thought to have heard that! I've heard of the "bathroom on the right" a lot from "Bad Moon Rising", so how is a "cashier on the right" like from "We Didn't Start the Fire"? - Submitted by: Cody Finke