-> "If Bush Only Had A Brain / The Nerve / A Heart"
Original Song Title:
"If I Only Had The Nerve / A Brain / A Heart"
Parody Song Title:
"If Bush Only Had A Brain / The Nerve / A Heart"
When I meet with Condoleeza for tutoring and pizza
It often causes strain
Though she tries hard to teach me, what she says just doesn't reach me
Since I haven't got a brain!
When she mentioned Ol' Bin Laden (A guy I'd long forgotten),
She had to re-explain
That we still hadn't caught the guy -- she seemed so damned distraught -- and why?
I haven't got a brain!
The stuff goes in and it goes out
(Well for a while, it rattles all about)
Sometimes it looks like I'm just zoning out:
No brainstorm here, it's just brain drought!
Though the patience of dear Condi could rival that of Gandhi
Her efforts are in vain
I will make no pretense to wit -- the facts are these: I'm dense as sh*t
And haven't got a brain!
When I meet with Colin Powell, his disapproving scowl
Is just what I deserve
He's got medals for valor; I've got sheltered rich-boy pallor
Cause I haven't got the nerve,,,
When that war in Southeast Asia (Myanmar or Malaysia?
Whatever...) - threw a curve
I refused to go overseas -- I had other... priorities
(And didn't have the nerve)
Go fight in dirt? I might get hurt
And spill blood on my favorite polo shirt!
I'd rather stay with Laura Welch and flirt
(And maybe get under her skirt)
But just ask my daddy's chauffeur: I wasn't just a loafer --
I was in the reserves!
But to face all the heat and fleas, and noisy fighting overseas?
I haven't got the nerve...
When I met up with some seniors, they talked about their lean years
When lives can fall apart;
I know JUST what they're talkin' bout -- my mom and dad sure toughed it out!
Of COURSE, I've got a heart!
There are some who say my war plan is, sadly, valued more than
My economic chart;
But my constant deployment guarantees our troops' employment
So of COURSE I've got a heart!
They think I'm just a little schmuck...
An panty-raiding frat boy run amok
With far more than his rightful share of luck
'Cause Daddy's got a zillion bucks...
If conservative compassion were not so out of fashion
I'd know just where to start:
Any Tom Dick or Harry could go ANYWHERE and marry!
(If I only had a heart...)
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|How Funny: ||4.4|
|Overall Rating: ||4.3|
|Total Votes: ||10|
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