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Song Parodies -> "If Bush Only Had A Brain / The Nerve / A Heart"
Original Song Title:
"If I Only Had The Nerve / A Brain / A Heart"
Original Performer:
Wizard of Oz Soundtrack
Parody Song Title:
"If Bush Only Had A Brain / The Nerve / A Heart"
Parody Written by:
Leo Jay
The Lyrics
I'm REALLY not as partisan as this might sound -- all in good fun --sort of... ;-) Anyway... As sung by the Prez-ee-dent of these here U-nited States!
When I meet with Condoleeza for tutoring and pizza
It often causes strain
Though she tries hard to teach me, what she says just doesn't reach me
Since I haven't got a brain!
When she mentioned Ol' Bin Laden (A guy I'd long forgotten),
She had to re-explain
That we still hadn't caught the guy -- she seemed so damned distraught -- and why?
I haven't got a brain!
The stuff goes in and it goes out
(Well for a while, it rattles all about)
Sometimes it looks like I'm just zoning out:
No brainstorm here, it's just brain drought!
Though the patience of dear Condi could rival that of Gandhi
Her efforts are in vain
I will make no pretense to wit -- the facts are these: I'm dense as sh*t
And haven't got a brain!
When I meet with Colin Powell, his disapproving scowl
Is just what I deserve
He's got medals for valor; I've got sheltered rich-boy pallor
Cause I haven't got the nerve,,,
When that war in Southeast Asia (Myanmar or Malaysia?
Whatever...) - threw a curve
I refused to go overseas -- I had other... priorities
(And didn't have the nerve)
Go fight in dirt? I might get hurt
And spill blood on my favorite polo shirt!
I'd rather stay with Laura Welch and flirt
(And maybe get under her skirt)
But just ask my daddy's chauffeur: I wasn't just a loafer --
I was in the reserves!
But to face all the heat and fleas, and noisy fighting overseas?
I haven't got the nerve...
When I met up with some seniors, they talked about their lean years
When lives can fall apart;
I know JUST what they're talkin' bout -- my mom and dad sure toughed it out!
Of COURSE, I've got a heart!
There are some who say my war plan is, sadly, valued more than
My economic chart;
But my constant deployment guarantees our troops' employment
So of COURSE I've got a heart!
They think I'm just a little schmuck...
An panty-raiding frat boy run amok
With far more than his rightful share of luck
'Cause Daddy's got a zillion bucks...
If conservative compassion were not so out of fashion
I'd know just where to start:
Any Tom Dick or Harry could go ANYWHERE and marry!
(If I only had a heart...)
It often causes strain
Though she tries hard to teach me, what she says just doesn't reach me
Since I haven't got a brain!
When she mentioned Ol' Bin Laden (A guy I'd long forgotten),
She had to re-explain
That we still hadn't caught the guy -- she seemed so damned distraught -- and why?
I haven't got a brain!
The stuff goes in and it goes out
(Well for a while, it rattles all about)
Sometimes it looks like I'm just zoning out:
No brainstorm here, it's just brain drought!
Though the patience of dear Condi could rival that of Gandhi
Her efforts are in vain
I will make no pretense to wit -- the facts are these: I'm dense as sh*t
And haven't got a brain!
When I meet with Colin Powell, his disapproving scowl
Is just what I deserve
He's got medals for valor; I've got sheltered rich-boy pallor
Cause I haven't got the nerve,,,
When that war in Southeast Asia (Myanmar or Malaysia?
Whatever...) - threw a curve
I refused to go overseas -- I had other... priorities
(And didn't have the nerve)
Go fight in dirt? I might get hurt
And spill blood on my favorite polo shirt!
I'd rather stay with Laura Welch and flirt
(And maybe get under her skirt)
But just ask my daddy's chauffeur: I wasn't just a loafer --
I was in the reserves!
But to face all the heat and fleas, and noisy fighting overseas?
I haven't got the nerve...
When I met up with some seniors, they talked about their lean years
When lives can fall apart;
I know JUST what they're talkin' bout -- my mom and dad sure toughed it out!
Of COURSE, I've got a heart!
There are some who say my war plan is, sadly, valued more than
My economic chart;
But my constant deployment guarantees our troops' employment
So of COURSE I've got a heart!
They think I'm just a little schmuck...
An panty-raiding frat boy run amok
With far more than his rightful share of luck
'Cause Daddy's got a zillion bucks...
If conservative compassion were not so out of fashion
I'd know just where to start:
Any Tom Dick or Harry could go ANYWHERE and marry!
(If I only had a heart...)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 8 | 7 |
User Comments
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A very good perception of the left's view on Dubya. Some very clever lines in there and the fact that you did all three songs into one makes it so much more complete. I've done parodies to all three of these but in separate songs. Oz songs are fun to parody and this was a fun read. It is so exemplary of the leftist view. Well done.
When those lefties start to jivin',
It's this song here that I'm fivin',
If they only had a clue!
When those lefties start to jivin',
It's this song here that I'm fivin',
If they only had a clue!
Leo Jay, this is one of those political parodies I can't stand. I don't agree with its Liberal Left perspective of President Dubya . . . and yet , it's SOOO funny, and cleverly written, that had I had read this parody in a voting booth, I'd be laughing so hard I'd probably punch the wrong chad and become disenfranchised. I'll risk my good standing in the RNC, and vote you Honorary Ditto-Head Fives!
Even Kitty laughed at this one; she's only a kid and smarter than our President! Well, she's smarter than me, too, but that's beside the point!
In the immortal words of Avril Lavigne, this couldn't be any more obvious. But it tells the truth about Our Fearless Appointed Wartime Leader With a Purpose, so the fives are also self-evident.
Its a shame that in these troubled times, people enjoy taking cheap shots at a man who has dedicated his time and energy to serving the country, at great sacrifice to his personal health and prosperity. Leo Jay, you should be praising The man you're bent on hazing -- A man of sacrifice And your words are quite awful At the same time they're unlawful Because slander isn't nice! How's that!
(ABC) I wish I could give this more than 5's...funny as usual, Leo> In the running for my vote for "I"'s. 5's
I've got to agree with Guy and David C. it annoys me that you have taken the stereotypes that the left loves to perpetuate and presented them so cleverly, but I have to acknowledge that this is a very good parody. And, at least you do portray Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice in a positive light.
(ABC) Let us always treasure our freedom to trash all politicians, all of the time, in the media.
abc -- laugh out loud funny!
(ABC) This is Leo at his brilliant best. Funny, not at all mean spirited; I commend you!
great parody ... very imaginative and cleverly written..... 5s
This is one of those amazing parodies that makes you sit back and say FREAKIN' A, LEO JAY! Stellar. Rhymeriffic.
Somehow it seems like years ago that I'd written this. So nice to have it get new viewings recently. Thanks Spaff, Martha, Meriado, Mehli, Johnny D, John Jenkins and Agagio for the kind comments!
And, Dudley... well.... Dudley.
And, Dudley... well.... Dudley.
Leo...:D Do I 'gag' you? 's ADagio, dear. ;)
My bag. ;-)
My bag. ;-)
Hehe, I love the rhymes. Very clever song.
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