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Song Parodies -> "If I Had Only a Brain"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had a Brain"

Original Performer:

Wizard of Oz

Parody Song Title:

"If I Had Only a Brain"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

I could calculate for hours
use my brainy powers
To forecast wind and rain
And my head would be computing
With no notion of re-booting
if I had only a brain

And somewhere in my middle
No heart would be a-sizzle
So what then could I gain?

Many thoughts I'd be thinkin'
But compassion would be sinkin'
If I had only a brain

Oh, I could analyze the ocean and its floor
But never take a walk along the shore
And think of every sunset as a bore

I'd be happy over nothin'
Somber as a muffin
No heart, but just a drain
Resembling a robot, it's grey matter that I've got
If I had only a brain

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Red Ant - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good parody Royce but you lost me on the last verse.
John Barry - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
In the last verse, I think Royce has set up a clever dialectic. Although "gray matter" is a specific term, it has a metaphorical, somewhat amorphous connotation. Whereas "brain" connotes a chunk of crenelated flesh you'd see in a lab or a James Whale film. Ordinarily, you'd think, I have the brain, but I wish I had gray matter. But Royce has turned that idea on its head (so to speak) and then, in a coup de gris [matter], allied the GM with the robot, which you'd customarily think of as having a brain, or computer, not GM. Very clever!
stuart mcarthur - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
well, I liked it, but now John's got me all confused - my small brain liked "With no notion of re-booting" best - 555
John Jenkins - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Royce. I, too, liked the "re-booting" line, but it looks like you annoyed the one-robot.
Larry Hensley - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
It's a classic. 555
Kristof Robertson - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Tres clever, Mme Miller! 555
Huff - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
If every sunset is supposed to be a bore, then your parody, my friend, is a sunset! :D 322
Royce Miller - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the kind comments; Huff, every sunset would only be a bore if you had only a brain. But it's obvious you have a heart, too.

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