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Song Parodies -> "Kansas City, Kansas"

Original Song Title:

"Kansas City"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Wilbert Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Kansas City, Kansas"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Lyric sites and recordings are all over the place on this one. I'm using the version as I remember hearing it growing up in Kansas City. 12th and Vine no longer exists. 18th and Vine is the Historic Jazz District. Of course, there is another Kansas City to the west. (And one to the north of Downtown. There may even be a Kansas City, Nicaragua. Information is very sketchy on that one).
I'm going to Kansas City
Home of prostitutes and bums
I'm talking Kansas City, Kansas
Not about those other ones

There's a crackhead with his hand out
On the corner of Thirteenth and State
While a slimy pervert on the sidewalk
Is whipping it out to masturbate
Then a speeding drunken driver
Jumps the curb to smash my fence and gate

Well, the burglars all know
Judge will let 'em go
Taxes are way too high
The businessmen just say good-bye
They're leaving from Kansas City
Kansas City gone to rot
They've got a crooked crony government
They'll take everything you got

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - December 20, 2017 - Report this comment
In addition to Kansas City, Missouri and North Kansas City, Missouri, I have found references to a Kansas City, Washington County, Oregon and a Kansas City, Washington County, Tennessee. No information on whether these places actually exist or how many people live there. Kansas City, Atlantico Sur, Nicaragua, is 19 kilometers from Chicago, A.S., Nicaragua. No evidence that either place is populated. Both are located in a Nature Reserve.
Rob Arndt - December 20, 2017 - Report this comment
555! Odd fact: So there are two Kansas Cities, but why is the Kansas City most people think of the one that’s in Missouri? Well strangely, Kansas City, Missouri existed first. First known as The City of Kansas, it was incorporated on February 22, 1853. Its residents named it after the Kansa, a Native American tribe that the residents of Kansas also named their state after later on. Keep in mind that Kansas didn’t exist yet in 1853. The next year, it became a territory and it didn’t become a state until 1861 ~ Quora
Patrick - December 20, 2017 - Report this comment
When the cities of Wyandotte, Kansas City, Armstrong, Armourdale and Riverview consolidated in 1886, the name "Kansas City" was chosen deliberately to create confusion among Eastern investors who knew of Kansas City as the large city on the Missouri side. Of the five communities Wyandotte was the largest. Kansas City was a couple blocks on the lower east side, now called James Street, and the location of most of the packing houses. Rosedale, to the south, was added later and uses the Kansas City, Missouri street numbering system. Quindaro, an anti-slavery stronghold, was abandoned about the time of the Civil War. Quindaro Boulevard is the main street of the mostly Black northeast side of KCK. Wyandotte was named for the Wyandotte Indians who were pushed off their land in Ohio around 1843. The county is named Wyandotte and incorporates KCK, Bonner Springs, and Edwardsville. All of the smaller communities and rural areas have long since been annexed. Wyandotte is the smallest county by area in the State of Kansas. It is predominantly Democrat. Republicans are never seen on local ballots. Most of the rest of Kansas is Republican, except around the University of Kansas in Lawrence, and maybe parts of Wichita and Topeka.
Patrick - December 20, 2017 - Report this comment
North Kansas City, Missouri, just to the north of downtown Kansas City, Missouri was once known as Harlem. There is still a Harlem Road in the area. The lowlands around the river have been subject to severe flooding over the years, with the worst in 1844, 1903, 1908, 1951 and 1993. I lost my mobile home in that one.
kipper - December 28, 2018 - Report this comment
just had to bring in the race card & politics. Who gives a rats behind? didn't talk about the white people I see. Racist

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