Hey, you!
Me, Mr. Body?
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason for not dragging you down to the principal, you punk!

Tim: Dear kindly, Professor Body
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringing up-dy
And it's gettin' outta hand
My father is so cruel,
My mother is a flake,
Holy Moly, naturely I'm a snake!

Twins: Gee, Professor Body, we're very upset
We never had the love from everyone we get
We ain't no street gangsters,
We're misunderstood,
Deep down inside us we are good!
Jim: We are good!
Twins: We are good, we are good
There's an untapped good,
Like inside, the worst of us is good

That's a very good story!
(Jim: Lemme tell it to the world!)
Just tell it to the judge!

Jim: Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents are so rough
When they have bad tantrums
They beat me til I'm tough
They didn't wanna have us
But somehow we were had
Talking turtles, that's why we're so bad!

(Judge) Professor Body, you're really not so fair;
These boys don't need a judge,
They need a psychiatrist's care!
They're under hypnosis, that is so absurd
They're ideologically disturbed!
Tim: We're disturbed!
Twins: We're disturbed!
We're disturbed,We're the most disturbed,
Like we're idealogically disturbed

(Judge): In the opinion of this court, the twins are depraved on account they ain't had a normal home.
Tim: Hey, I'm depraved on account! I'm deprived! ("Shut up!")
(Judge): So take them to their Doctor Head

Tim: My father is a drag gueen
My ma's legs are so long
My auntie eats machines
My uncle plays ping pong
My sister's in a hospital
From school my brother's banned
Flying piglets, that's why we ran!

(Dr. Head): Yes! Professor Body, you don't realize your strife
Thess boys doesn't need my guidance, just a better choice for life
Society's played them a terrible trick,
And sociologically they're sick!
Jim: We are sick!
Twins: We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick sick sick,
Like we're sociologically sick!

(Dr. Head): In my opinion the twins doesn't need your attentions at all. their actions are only the symptoms of a horrible fate!
Jim: Hey, I got a horrible fate! ("Silence!")
(Dr. Head): So take him to a Miss Elbow.

Twins: Dear kindly Madame councelor.
They say go earn some gold,
We'd be some honest fellers,
Which means to be boring as mold.
It's not we're anti-money,
We're only anti-work,
Help us buddy, that's why we're jerks!

(Ms. Elbow): Eek! Professor Body, I can say no more
It's written in the stars, they'll get a kiss from a Dementor
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, They're no good!
Twins: We're no good!
We're no good, we're no good,
We're no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!

(Judge): The trouble is they're crazy!
(Dr. Head): The trouble is their kin!
(Ms. Elbow): The futures very hazy!
(Judge): The trouble is their sin!
(Dr. Head): The trouble is they're stupid!
(Ms. Elbow): The serpent sits on the lions throne!

Twins: Body, we've got troubles of our own!
Gee, Professor Body, Why must you hate?
'Cause no one wants a fella with a horrible fate
Gee, Professor Body, we have no luck
Gee, Professor Body, you suck!