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Song Parodies -> "In Coxsackie"

Original Song Title:

"I Feel Pretty"

Original Performer:

West Side Story Cast

Parody Song Title:

"In Coxsackie"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

This is just a list of some of my favorite real-world places to visit. I'm a world traveller and I thought I'd list my favorites for the benefit of others. Enjoy :c). And feel free to look any of these places up on the map.
I feel happy
In Coxsackie(23),
Someone slap me, so happy I sang
Make it snappy
Cause the ladies they prefer Wetwang(67)

Lalalalala-la-la-la-lala

I feel famous
Stayed in Anus(2),
Not too heinous, that Anus, it’s best
Greg Louganis
Says ‘You gotta try the drinks in Brest(14)’

See there’s not a place that I haven’t been
Always in and out, I move fast
I gave Hell(37) a try
Saw the Town [of] Pie(50)
People ask me Why(69)
‘Cause it is a blast!

Don’t come knockin’
Stayed at Cock Inn(21)
It was rockin’, at Cock Inn, oh SNAP!
But I love
When I’m dropping into Deep Gap(24)

Now for a good time, get to Climax(20)
You’ll have the best time on the block
They ask “where is best?” I say Mount Mee(46)
But that’s only if you cannot handle Three Cocks(59)

Give Nipple(48) a try
Or dive into Muff(47)
And Threeway(60) is nice
I can’t get enough

I like Ta Ta Creek(57)
But Dildo(28) was weird
Now Ball Play(4)’s a treat
In Twatt(62), they have beards

Penn is such a treat
See Big Beaver(6)
After Intercourse(42), you can leave her

Greasy(35) was hot
Do Stop(29) I recall
Found Virginville(63)’s not
And hated Blue Balls(9)(10)(11)!

‘Cross America! ‘Even Overseas! Where?

Assinippi(2)!
It’s so pretty!
Take a trip-py, to gritty Bald Knob(3)
Here’s my tipp-y:
Visit Weener(66), it’ll do the job

Lalalalala-la-la-la-lala

Handsome Eddy(36)
Go get ready
Bobbin Head(12)-y, now steady, Blowhard(8)
It’s no kitty
Pussy Creek(51) demands a credit card

See there’s not a town where I can’t be found
[Fic-kl-in’ Knob(32)]
Look at all the travel’s I’ve planned
[Titlis(61) Sexmoan(53) - moan, moan, moan, moan...]
Don’t be shy in Fame(30)
Boring(13) isn’t lame
Fucking(34) isn’t tame
I’m in Happyland(37)

I like Busti(17)
Though it’s dusty
Feel like putty and Busti I thank
But I love
How I always end up in Wank(64)!


[PLACES LIST]
1 Anus, France
2 Assinippi, Massachusetts
3 Bald Knob, Arkansas
4 Ball Play, Tennessee
5 Beaver Lick, Kentucky
6 Big Beaver, Pennsylvania
7 Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky
8 Blowhard, Australia
9 Blue Ball, Delaware
10 Blue Ball, Ohio
11 Blue Ball, Pennsylvania
12 Bobbin Head Road, Australia
13 Boring, Oregon
14 Brest, France
15 Brilliant, Ohio
16 Bumpass, Virginia
17 Busti, New York
18 Butternuts, New York
19 Buttzville, New Jersey
20 Climax, Georgia
21 Cock Inn, UK
22 Condemned Bar, California
23 Coxsackie, New York
24 Deep Gap, Tennessee
25 Dickeyville, Wisconsin
26 Dickshooter, Idaho
27 Dicktown, New Jersey
28 Dildo, Canada
29 Do Stop, Kentucky
30 Fame, West Virginia
31 Fanny, West Virginia
32 Ficklin Knob, Kentucky
33 French Lick, Indiana
34 Fucking, Austria
35 Greasy, Oklahoma
36 Handsome Eddy, New York
37 Happyland, Oklahoma
38 Hell, Michigan
39 Hicksville, New York
40 Hookersville, West Virgina
41 Horneytown, North Carolina
42 Intercourse, Pennsylvania
43 Loveladies, New Jersey
44 Manassas, Virginia
45 Mount Gay, West Virginia
46 Mount Mee, Australia
47 Muff, Ireland
48 Nipple, Utah
49 Onancock, Virginia
50 Pie Town, New Mexico
51 Pussy Creek, Ohio
52 Ramsbottom, England
53 Sexmoan, Phillippines
54 Smackass Gap, North Carolina
55 Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
56 Sweet Lips Creek, Tennessee
57 Ta Ta Creek, Canada
58 The Bottle, Alabama
59 Three Cocks, Wales
60 Threeway, Virginia
61 Titlis, Switzerland
62 Twatt, Orkney, Scotland
63 Virginville, Pennsylvania
64 Wank, Free State of Bavaria, Germany
65 Wealthy, Texas
66 Weener, Germany
67 Wetwang, England
68 Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington
69 Why, Arizona
Copyright 2013+ Glen Stollberger

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Osiris - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice that you know these pun places. Now that you're finished, try to create surprising and delightful wit.
Matthias - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Ignore the haters man! This was Brilliant and actually really informative, I didn't know that all of these places actually existed. Have you really been to all these dirty sounding cities?
Glen S - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks Matty. I appreciate the kind words. And that would be a 'no'. I've only ever visited Hicksville, Coxsackie and I think Assinippi. I've driven past or close to many of them though. And I'm actually a fan of one or two haters. Many of my better parodies started out with a few hates, so I take it as a sign that this parody has a bright future :c).
Lifeliver - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
I endorse Matthias's comment. You dug up some really fruity place names for a clever parody - OS choice was perfect.

I once sent a postcard from Pennsylvania to my parents in Australia explaining I was somewhere between Intercourse and Bird-In-Hand. I thought it was clever at the time. Little did I know ... Seriously, I had a student once named Fukiko Fukumoto - from Fukuoka! I suggested if she went to live in an English-speaking country she should get a nickname fast. Great stuff 555.
Callmelennie - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
I live inArizona so Iknow that there is a Why in Arizona. I just don't know How it got it's name or Where it is.
Callmelennie - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
One thing I do know is that there's a significant Muslim community in Why. I recall that their Muslim Community Association once ran a series of TV ads with the jingle ... It's fun to pray at the Why MCA ;-D
Giorgio C. - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
The paradox of parody !!. Amazing how you can be in bad taste, and yet sophisticated and encyclopedic at the same time. 555! - Witless George.
Osiris - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Rethink it, Lifeliver and Giorgio. The lazy lyrics that employ strings of proper nouns as props constitute a long and undistinguished list, noted for their unoriginality. Have you both gone witless?
Glen S - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the warm reception Lifeliver, Lennie and George. Glad you guys liked it and appreciated the crazy names we seem to give places. And thanks for making me smile Osiris :c). If you feel I'm being lazy, you are encouraged to write and post your own take on the OS. Just don't call fans of my work 'witless'. Keep negativity focused on ME, and leave my fans out of it :cP
Jonathan - August 29, 2013 - Report this comment
"attempting to sing" I feel dirty not as dirty though as Miley at the VMAs!
Giorgio Coniglio - August 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Osie: I have already filed for witlessness (see earlier posting - "I Feel Witless"), but humbly disagree with your take on this point. Song under discussion is quite clever in subbing and in exploitation of this unusual geographic data-set. I have presented 2 patter-parody songs, based on "The Elements" and "I've Been Everywhere". Despite inspiration by Lifeliver's creative Japanese- "Everywhere" etc, these list-parodies took more effort and organization to compile and format than most of my others; 'n other words, listlessness is their antithesis !
John Jenkins - August 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Count me in as another witless reader who enjoyed this entertaining travelogue. I think you are to be commended for refraining from toilet humor and staying out of Slickpoo, Idaho and Pee Pee, Ohio.
Osiris - September 01, 2013 - Report this comment
You dare argue with the God of Death? "I've Been Everywhere" is a list of geographic places. There is no denying that it is a carefully selected list, with a distinct rhyming pattern and very good pacing. But when I write of "surprising and delightful wit," I refer to social insight and inventiveness -- not just mere technical prowess.

I offer as an example W.S. Gilbert's "As Some Day It May Happen" from The Mikado. Here a list is compiled not from a map or a reference book, but from an observing wit.

(Ko-Ko:)
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

(Chorus:)
He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

(Ko-Ko:)
There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not he missed!

(Chorus:)
He's got her on the list — he's got her on the list;
And I don't think she'll be missed — I'm sure she'll not be missed!

(Ko-Ko:)
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

(Chorus:)
You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!
Callmelennie - September 02, 2013 - Report this comment
You're definitely not your run-of-the-mill, unabombing, Amiright troll, are you, Osiris
Osiris - September 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Callmelennie: Ana memeken awafe2 3ela da.
Giorgio Coniglio - September 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Osie; Point taken !.
Osiris - September 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Giorgio: Do not fear me, witty paisan. When I greet you in the Afterlife, I will sentence you to an eternity of the finest viands, Godiva chocolates, premium cable, endless six-packs of Stella Dartois, and the flooziest Essex girls that my assistant Fack can round up.
Glen S - September 03, 2013 - Report this comment
I'm flattered to be compared to something like G&S, so thanks there. I'm not sure it's possible for me to be as witty as that :c). You'll have to put up with my 'list' parodies for a while longer, but I'll see what I can do so you don't have to have another 'wit fit'.
Al Silver - September 08, 2013 - Report this comment
This is the List Song Supreme, “Tschaikowsky (And Other Russians)” from “Lady In the Dark” (1941), lyrics by Ira Gershwin, music by Kurt Weill, and first performed at breakneck speed by Danny Kaye in a performance that made him a star. It would not please Osiris because it’s more about technical proficiency than witty social insight. To hear Danny sing it, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHgn19J2JV0

Without the least excuse
Or the slightest provocation,
May I fondly introduce,
For your mental delectation,
The names that always give me a concussion,
The names of those composers known as Russian.

There's Malichevsky, Rubinstein, Arensky, and Tschaikowsky,
Sapelnikoff, Dimitrieff, Tscherepnin, Kryjanowsky,
Godowsky, Arteiboucheff, Moniuszko, Akimenko,
Solovieff, Prokofieff, Tiomkin, Korestchenko.

There's Glinka, Winkler, Bortniansky, Rebikoff, Ilyinsky,
There's Medtner, Balakireff, Zolotareff, and Kvoschinsky.
And Sokoloff and Kopyloff, Dukelsky, and Klenowsky,
And Shostakovitsch, Borodine, Glière, and Nowakofski.

There's Liadoff and Karganoff, Markievitch, Pantschenko
And Dargomyzski, Stcherbatcheff, Scriabine, Vassilenko,
Stravinsky, Rimsky-Korsakoff, Mussorgsky, and Gretchaninoff
And Glazounoff and Caesar Cui, Kalinikoff, Rachmaninoff,

Stravinsky and Gretchnaninoff,
Rumshinsky and Rachmaninoff,
I really have to stop, the subject has been dwelt upon enough!

He'd better stop because we feel we all have undergone enough!
Matthias - September 18, 2013 - Report this comment
[SOTM]- I honestly can't believe how much controversy this song has behind it now. I had no idea that a list parody could have so much bad press (or perhaps it's just one Internet Troll who thinks he's smarter than he actually is). Anyways, This is still a great parody and I loved that you were able to come up with all of these goofy city names, kind of like a very silly version of Johnny Cash's "I've Been Everywhere"
Osiris - September 19, 2013 - Report this comment
You have the effrontery to call me a troll? Do you have any idea of a god's tasks? Definitely a pain in the ass. I have to be ubiquitous for an eternity. Yes, I am everywhere, all the time. And when you appear before me for judgment, you will be wrapped in linen, your brain having been extracted through your nose.
In defense of Internet trolls, without them this would be the world's most boring and talentless site. I send my rascal angels as missionaries from the Afterlife. Some of them are assigned to provoke the ravings of the insane: Nazis and lovers of war. Yes, I am indeed smarter than I pretend to be, and my son Johnny Cash sits at my right side.
Callmlennie - September 20, 2013 - Report this comment
If this is the world's most boring and talent bereft site, why would you waste so much as a nano-second of your vaunted time here? .... In the alternative, if this is the world's most boring and talent lacking site, why don't you shake things up here with some of your own material? You appear to have some kind of talent, linguistically speaking; you're probably the most creative troll I've ever encountered. Either that, or you've been forgetting to take your anti-lunacy pill this past month
Giorgio Coniglio - September 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Osie; Can we agree on this? A list doesn't make a parody, yet alone a good one. Neither does using a list preclude a good parody. Other creative elements are de rigueur, and the parody-reader's surprise and delight might be enhanced by inventive incorporation of a unique list - as in this laudable contribution by 2nz. If you still disagree, double one-bolt both my list-twists, "Under My Own Steam" and "No Elements', and I'll get the message..... privately. Regards to Nut...GC
Osiris - September 23, 2013 - Report this comment
There I was, just outside Luxor, leaning against the shady side of a pyramid and cracking open another cold Sakara Premium, when Conigliowitz tries to beguile me with a high-class snow job so that I might allow him to avoid my dominion. "De rigueur," eh? IT WON'T WORK! The best I can do for you is to turn you over to the tender mercies of my sister (and wife) Isis. Daddy Geb gave his blessings to this consanguinity which eventually led to outbreaks of Hapsburg Lip and haemophilia.
But let us get down to business. I INVENTED BEER, and you hock me a chynick about list songs? I gave you an example of a good list song by Mr. Gilbert. And some noodnick offered a well-written list of Russian composers, but the real charm lies in Danny Kaye's performance.
In the end, de gustibus non est disputadum.
I leave you with an Eric Idle re-write of The Little List Song, created for a 1987 production of The Mikado.

As some days may happen
That a victim must be found
I've got a little list
I've got a little list
Of society offenders
Who might well be underground
And never would be missed
They never would be missed

There's weightlifters and bodybuilders
People of that sort
Bank robbers who retire to spend
The minute they get caught
Bishops who don't believe in God
Chief constables who do
All people who host chat shows
And the guests who's on them too
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
I don't think they'd be missed
I'm sure they'd not be missed

Chorus: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

There's the people with pretentious names
Like Justin, Trish, and Rob
And the gynaecologist
I've got him on the list
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers
People who play golf
They never would be missed
They never would be missed

All waitresses who make you wait
Accountants of all kinds
And actresses who kiss and tell
And wiggle their behinds
And pouncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed
I'm sure they not be missed

Chorus: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

There's the beggars who write letters
From the inland revenue
And the gossip columnist
I've got him on the list
All critics and comedians and opera singers too
And none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

All traffic wardens, bankers,
Men who sell Venetian blinds
All advertising chappies
And Australians of all kinds
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip
And huge and floppy... ritz.
And girls who sell the stories
Of the Tories they have kissed
But you must have got the gist
'Cause none of them be missed

Chorus: You may put them on the list
You may put them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed
Callmelennie - September 24, 2013 - Report this comment
By God, this fellow is damned interesting! Quick, someone talk some more trash at him
Giorgio Coniglio - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Osie; truly enjoyed your "Little List"- rewrite. Sorry to have banged on your teapot. 'Nuff said. Don't you have other fish to fry?
Max Power - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
This parody sure attracted some attention. Good effort overall.
Max Power - September 29, 2013 - Report this comment
See above.
bobpiecheese - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What, no Lake Titicaca? Anyway, this was a pretty good parody, nice to see that not all of the punny names where dirty jokes, gave it a bit of variety, ya know? 555!
Blaydeman - October 02, 2013 - Report this comment
So freakin' EPIC! Loved this!
Abbott Skelding - October 08, 2013 - Report this comment
When I read the intro, I was like "Oh great, some parody about all the places he's been to...how entertaining (sarcasm)". But then I realized the places you were listing and I was laughing out loud! The variety and inappropriate-ness of the places you named combined with the OS that fits perfectly. Excellent work!
Claude Prez - July 11, 2017 - Report this comment
This is great! Saw a comedian once in Bloomington, IN who remarked on a couple of the Indiana town names -- "French Lick was great, but stay away from Gnaw Bone", or something like that. And I actually did go to French Lick eventually (to see the fabulous Tom Jones), and it WAS great. Anyway, well done as always
Rob Arndt - July 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Nice. Here are a few other places:

1) Climax, Michigan
2) Condom, France
3) Thong, England
4) Wankdorf, Switzerland
5) Sh*tterton, England
6) T*tisee, Germany
7) Knob Lick, Missouri
8) Pen*stone, England
9) Hooker, Oklahoma
10)Gof*ku, Japan
11) Diksh*t, India
12) B*tche, France

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