ADRIAN
I feel handsome
Oh so handsome
I feel handsome and dashing and bright
And I pity
Any boy who isn't me tonight

I feel charming
Oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so handsome
That I hardly can believe I'm real

See the handsome guy in that mirror there?
Who can that attractive chap be?
Such a handsome face
Such a handsome suit
Such a handsome smile
Such a handsome me!

I feel dazzling
Razz-matazzling
Feel like dancing
And doing a twirl
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful girl

BOYS
Have you met my good friend Adrian
The craziest dude on the block?
You'll know him the minute you see him
He's the one who is in an advanced state of shock
He thinks he is loved
He's handsome, he thinks.
He isn't loved
He's seen dozens of shrinks
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too little to eat
Or maybe it's fleas

Keep away from him
Send for Chino
This is not the Adrain we know
Our old friend and comrade
Uncouth and brash
Not this boarding-school chap
Who is completely daft!
Mister Universe, Mister Universe, speech!
Mister Universe, bravo, speech!

ADRIAN
I feel handsome
Oh so handsome
They should pay me a king's ransom
Sub-committees
Should be organized to honour me

I feel lively
I feel gorgeous
I feel hunky and muscly and fine
And so handsome Mister Universe can just resign
See the handsome chap in that mirror there (What mirror, where?)
Who can that attractive guy be? (Which, what, where, whom?)
Such a pretty face
Such a handsome suit
Such a handsome smile
Such a handsome me!


ADRIAN & BOYS
I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like dancing and doing a twirl
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful girl