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Song Parodies -> "Read My Ditty"

Original Song Title:

"I Feel Pretty"

Original Performer:

West Side Story

Parody Song Title:

"Read My Ditty"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

So, you think I don't know what you all say about me behind my back? If you have a problem with my self- advertising, say it to my face. I'm not fooled by all those nice little comments you always leave me. I know the truth. Observe.
Read my ditty,
Yes, this ditty
Read this ditty, so witty, but Ai!
What a pity -
My great masterpiece received no fives.

(Hahahahaha, ha ha ha, ha-ha!)

It's so clever
No one ever
Put together such lyrical treats!
(And my ditty
Took me just five minutes to complete!)

(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)

See that little link I've included there? (Yes, that one there!)
Click on it and see what I mean! (This one! *click* Hm...)
Yes, the pacing's great,
Funny as the rest,
Read it for a while,
Five it - one, two, three!

Fives for you, my sweet!

Not the best I've seen...

1-1-1 from ME!

I'll get famous...

You're the lamest!
Ignoramus, your brain is a void!

[EMI (not listening)]:
...For I'll plug
'Till I'm blocked because they're annoyed!

Have you met our good friend Ms. Loca,
The one with the 'flatable elf?
We've met her and wish we could choke her
She's the one who, oft, shamelessly promotes herself!

She thinks she's in love.

She thinks she's the queen! (Ha-ha-ha...)

She thinks she's so cool just 'cause she's fifteen!

Her socks AND thoughts stink!

She writed 'bout me.

She writes about sex - Alert ChuckyG!

A spoi-led brat plugging bad parodies
Her comments tell us "Write more like me!"
Lacking in skill, her pic's not so cute

(What, it's not?!?)

She's so immature, let's give her the boot!

Wait! My ditty!
Read my ditty!
It's not shitty...

Excuse me, Emi?

Fine, I'm quitting!
And I know you all will feel guilty!

(Hahahahaha, ha, yes, now she's gone!)

I'm just kidding.

She's not leaving?!

I keep winning, achieving - how fine!
Read my ditty!
It's the greatest just because it's mine!

(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)

See my comment area vacant there?

(Hm, wonder why...)

Someone tell me why it's emp-ty!

(No one likes you!)

Read my ditty twice,
For my ditty's best!
It'll make you smile,
Vote for it high-ly!

What a sh*tty piece!

Emi, you should leave!

(My name's Johnny D.)

Now we're shunning
This dumb Nancy
For her work is so hard to enjoy!
(Like THIS song...)

Now my reputation's destroyed!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   19

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
What? That's it? That's all you could come up with for me? Just a lame afterthought-throwaway-self-promotional-line like "My name’s Johnny D" ? Hmph! 5's anyway. ;-D
Arwen - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious, Emi!!! By the way...I'm not such a beast that I'd deny you the pleasure of THINKING you're the long as everyone else know that I'm REALLY the Queen...5s, 5s, 5s!
Phil Alexander - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Can I change my line to "What a witty treat", please?
TJC - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
gifted and garrulous!
Robert J. Pagliaro - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this - it gave me a chuckle (and I hate to chuckle).
EmiLoca - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Cower before the awe and splendor of my ability to create...SHAZZAM...multiple lines!!!

Johnny D - Don't play stupid. I'll be charging you for that little ad in my parody now. Let's see...that's 5 dollars per word.

Arwen - Grovel, grovel. Dodge scepter.

Phil Alexander - Sorry. I tried scribbling it out with a Sharpie, but when I scrolled down, I noticed that there was this odd stain on my monitor.

TJC - Quit using words I don't know!!!

Robert J. Pagliaro - I'm sorry about that. Um...yeah. Thanks for the comment!
Kristof Robertson - July 05, 2004 - Report this comment
How come I got put in a group with TJ Spindler and...aoid!?:-( Still, very good, Emi..555
EmiLoca - July 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof - Geez! What do I have to do to make you guys happy? First Johnny D doesn't like his line, then Phil Alexander wants an edit, Arwen smites me with her infallible logic, and now YOU!

Thanks so much for the comment - and the vote.
Lee OJ - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Even for you, this is pretty obnoxious -- even your age is supposed to be some kind of hint, isn't it? 5+5+5? C'mon, I'm not that stupid. And what will you be expecting as you age, you egotist?
EmiLoca - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
You're just bitter because you aren't young, beautiful and prodigal like me. I mean...prodigical. Prodigious. I only expect higher scores as I age, O'Jay, which I'm sure ChuckyG will arrange specifically for my parodies. After's ME we're talking about.
Leigh O'Jay - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, then if Chucky does modify his rating system to accommodate you as you age, I can't wait until you're 18, so I can give you the 6-6-6 you deserve, you she-devil! [chillingly sinister basso profundo laughter: Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!]
EmiLoca - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm hoping that's the only reason why you "can't wait until I'm 18".
Tibbygirl - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
AHEM! Why am I not in here? Ones. All ones. Pft. See if I read your parodies ever again.....
Tibbygirl - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok so I didn't give you ones. But I will. I will.
Rick D - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, now I read your ditty. Clever.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABCs) *straiiiiiiiiins* ...Fives for you, my sweet! (cursed subliminal messaging!) Seirously, this was one of your best to date (Be home by midnight! ha ha ha!) and 'twas simply 'glarhious'! And technically, because the Earth is a sphere, saying things behind your back IS saying them to your face. *whisper whisper*
Agrimorfee - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Happy to help restore the 5s that disappeared from your original tabulation. It's witty, oh so witty...It's a pitty, that Aggy did not divine! 555
Johnny D - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Restored my previous "Hmph!" and my previous 5's still stand! ;-)
Adagio - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
That was cute, Emi. 5's (ABC)
Peregrin - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
What's this Emi? No hobbits getting a mention? Why, I oughtta.... Oh well! 5's!
Guy - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC's) I read this one last week but forgot to comment. Quite amusing even though site related.
martha - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
very clever and funny idea .. and well executed ...5s
Paul Robinson - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Nice job, I won't even complain about not being specifically mentioned. Guess I can be one of the "Generic" "Parody Writers"...5's
neminem - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Bwahaha... you didn't mention me, so I'm gonna have to give you ones. Oh, wait, that joke already got pulled. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to 5 it, then.
Claude Prez - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny
John Jenkins - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
You do really good stuff with Broadway musicals.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Inside-joke parodies are hard to do without rehashing the same themes, but you did a reasonably good job. 5-4-5...
Kat - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
God! Emi, you are such a cynic!

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