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Song Parodies -> "Read My Ditty"
Original Song Title:
"I Feel Pretty"
(MP3)Original Performer:
West Side Story
Parody Song Title:
"Read My Ditty"
Parody Written by:
EmiLoca
The Lyrics
So, you think I don't know what you all say about me behind my back? If you have a problem with my self- advertising, say it to my face. I'm not fooled by all those nice little comments you always leave me. I know the truth. Observe.
[EMI]:
Read my ditty,
Yes, this ditty
Read this ditty, so witty, but Ai!
What a pity -
My great masterpiece received no fives.
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Hahahahaha, ha ha ha, ha-ha!)
[EMI]:
It's so clever
No one ever
Put together such lyrical treats!
(And my ditty
Took me just five minutes to complete!)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)
[EMI]:
See that little link I've included there? (Yes, that one there!)
Click on it and see what I mean! (This one! *click* Hm...)
Yes, the pacing's great,
Funny as the rest,
Read it for a while,
Five it - one, two, three!
[JAKE A. RALPHING (LUKE BRATTONI)]:
Fives for you, my sweet!
[KRISTOF ROBERTSON]:
Not the best I've seen...
[T.J. SPINDLER]:
1-1-1 from ME!
[EMI]:
I'll get famous...
[aoid]:
You're the lamest!
Ignoramus, your brain is a void!
[EMI (not listening)]:
...For I'll plug
'Till I'm blocked because they're annoyed!
[PARODY AUTHORS]
Have you met our good friend Ms. Loca,
The one with the 'flatable elf?
We've met her and wish we could choke her
She's the one who, oft, shamelessly promotes herself!
[JAKE A RALPHING (LUKE BRATTONI)]:
She thinks she's in love.
[ARWEN]:
She thinks she's the queen! (Ha-ha-ha...)
[LEO JAY]:
She thinks she's so cool just 'cause she's fifteen!
[THE THOUGHT POLICE]:
Her socks AND thoughts stink!
[DUBYA]:
She writed 'bout me.
[YWN]:
She writes about sex - Alert ChuckyG!
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
A spoi-led brat plugging bad parodies
Her comments tell us "Write more like me!"
Lacking in skill, her pic's not so cute
[EMI]:
(What, it's not?!?)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
She's so immature, let's give her the boot!
[EMI]:
Wait! My ditty!
Read my ditty!
It's not shitty...
[CENSORS]:
Excuse me, Emi?
[EMI]:
Fine, I'm quitting!
And I know you all will feel guilty!
[PARODY AUTHORS] :
(Hahahahaha, ha, yes, now she's gone!)
[EMI]:
I'm just kidding.
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
She's not leaving?!
[EMI]:
I keep winning, achieving - how fine!
Read my ditty!
It's the greatest just because it's mine!
[PARODY AUTHORS] :
(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)
[EMI]:
See my comment area vacant there?
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Hm, wonder why...)
[EMI]:
Someone tell me why it's emp-ty!
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(No one likes you!)
[EMI]:
Read my ditty twice,
For my ditty's best!
It'll make you smile,
Vote for it high-ly!
[PHIL ALEXANDER]:
What a sh*tty piece!
[2NZ]:
Emi, you should leave!
[JOHNNY D]:
(My name's Johnny D.)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
Now we're shunning
This dumb Nancy
For her work is so hard to enjoy!
(Like THIS song...)
[EMI]:
Now my reputation's destroyed!
Read my ditty,
Yes, this ditty
Read this ditty, so witty, but Ai!
What a pity -
My great masterpiece received no fives.
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Hahahahaha, ha ha ha, ha-ha!)
[EMI]:
It's so clever
No one ever
Put together such lyrical treats!
(And my ditty
Took me just five minutes to complete!)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)
[EMI]:
See that little link I've included there? (Yes, that one there!)
Click on it and see what I mean! (This one! *click* Hm...)
Yes, the pacing's great,
Funny as the rest,
Read it for a while,
Five it - one, two, three!
[JAKE A. RALPHING (LUKE BRATTONI)]:
Fives for you, my sweet!
[KRISTOF ROBERTSON]:
Not the best I've seen...
[T.J. SPINDLER]:
1-1-1 from ME!
[EMI]:
I'll get famous...
[aoid]:
You're the lamest!
Ignoramus, your brain is a void!
[EMI (not listening)]:
...For I'll plug
'Till I'm blocked because they're annoyed!
[PARODY AUTHORS]
Have you met our good friend Ms. Loca,
The one with the 'flatable elf?
We've met her and wish we could choke her
She's the one who, oft, shamelessly promotes herself!
[JAKE A RALPHING (LUKE BRATTONI)]:
She thinks she's in love.
[ARWEN]:
She thinks she's the queen! (Ha-ha-ha...)
[LEO JAY]:
She thinks she's so cool just 'cause she's fifteen!
[THE THOUGHT POLICE]:
Her socks AND thoughts stink!
[DUBYA]:
She writed 'bout me.
[YWN]:
She writes about sex - Alert ChuckyG!
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
A spoi-led brat plugging bad parodies
Her comments tell us "Write more like me!"
Lacking in skill, her pic's not so cute
[EMI]:
(What, it's not?!?)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
She's so immature, let's give her the boot!
[EMI]:
Wait! My ditty!
Read my ditty!
It's not shitty...
[CENSORS]:
Excuse me, Emi?
[EMI]:
Fine, I'm quitting!
And I know you all will feel guilty!
[PARODY AUTHORS] :
(Hahahahaha, ha, yes, now she's gone!)
[EMI]:
I'm just kidding.
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
She's not leaving?!
[EMI]:
I keep winning, achieving - how fine!
Read my ditty!
It's the greatest just because it's mine!
[PARODY AUTHORS] :
(Blahblahblahblahblah, blah blah blah, blah-blah...)
[EMI]:
See my comment area vacant there?
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(Hm, wonder why...)
[EMI]:
Someone tell me why it's emp-ty!
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
(No one likes you!)
[EMI]:
Read my ditty twice,
For my ditty's best!
It'll make you smile,
Vote for it high-ly!
[PHIL ALEXANDER]:
What a sh*tty piece!
[2NZ]:
Emi, you should leave!
[JOHNNY D]:
(My name's Johnny D.)
[PARODY AUTHORS]:
Now we're shunning
This dumb Nancy
For her work is so hard to enjoy!
(Like THIS song...)
[EMI]:
Now my reputation's destroyed!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 3 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 19 | 16 | 18 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
What? That's it? That's all you could come up with for me? Just a lame afterthought-throwaway-self-promotional-line like "My name’s Johnny D" ? Hmph! 5's anyway. ;-D
Hilarious, Emi!!! By the way...I'm not such a beast that I'd deny you the pleasure of THINKING you're the queen...as long as everyone else know that I'm REALLY the Queen...5s, 5s, 5s!
Can I change my line to "What a witty treat", please?
gifted and garrulous!
I liked this - it gave me a chuckle (and I hate to chuckle).
Cower before the awe and splendor of my ability to create...SHAZZAM...multiple lines!!!
Johnny D - Don't play stupid. I'll be charging you for that little ad in my parody now. Let's see...that's 5 dollars per word.
Arwen - Grovel, grovel. Dodge scepter.
Phil Alexander - Sorry. I tried scribbling it out with a Sharpie, but when I scrolled down, I noticed that there was this odd stain on my monitor.
TJC - Quit using words I don't know!!!
Robert J. Pagliaro - I'm sorry about that. Um...yeah. Thanks for the comment!
Johnny D - Don't play stupid. I'll be charging you for that little ad in my parody now. Let's see...that's 5 dollars per word.
Arwen - Grovel, grovel. Dodge scepter.
Phil Alexander - Sorry. I tried scribbling it out with a Sharpie, but when I scrolled down, I noticed that there was this odd stain on my monitor.
TJC - Quit using words I don't know!!!
Robert J. Pagliaro - I'm sorry about that. Um...yeah. Thanks for the comment!
How come I got put in a group with TJ Spindler and...aoid!?:-( Still, very good, Emi..555
Kristof - Geez! What do I have to do to make you guys happy? First Johnny D doesn't like his line, then Phil Alexander wants an edit, Arwen smites me with her infallible logic, and now YOU!
Thanks so much for the comment - and the vote.
Thanks so much for the comment - and the vote.
Even for you, this is pretty obnoxious -- even your age is supposed to be some kind of hint, isn't it? 5+5+5? C'mon, I'm not that stupid. And what will you be expecting as you age, you egotist?
You're just bitter because you aren't young, beautiful and prodigal like me. I mean...prodigical. Prodigious. I only expect higher scores as I age, O'Jay, which I'm sure ChuckyG will arrange specifically for my parodies. After all...it's ME we're talking about.
Well, then if Chucky does modify his rating system to accommodate you as you age, I can't wait until you're 18, so I can give you the 6-6-6 you deserve, you she-devil! [chillingly sinister basso profundo laughter: Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!]
I'm hoping that's the only reason why you "can't wait until I'm 18".
AHEM! Why am I not in here? Ones. All ones. Pft. See if I read your parodies ever again.....
Ok so I didn't give you ones. But I will. I will.
Okay, now I read your ditty. Clever.
(ABCs) *straiiiiiiiiins* ...Fives for you, my sweet! (cursed subliminal messaging!) Seirously, this was one of your best to date (Be home by midnight! ha ha ha!) and 'twas simply 'glarhious'! And technically, because the Earth is a sphere, saying things behind your back IS saying them to your face. *whisper whisper*
Happy to help restore the 5s that disappeared from your original tabulation. It's witty, oh so witty...It's a pitty, that Aggy did not divine! 555
(ABC) Restored my vote....my previous "Hmph!" and my previous 5's still stand! ;-)
That was cute, Emi. 5's (ABC)
What's this Emi? No hobbits getting a mention? Why, I oughtta.... Oh well! 5's!
(ABC's) I read this one last week but forgot to comment. Quite amusing even though site related.
very clever and funny idea .. and well executed ...5s
(ABC) Nice job, I won't even complain about not being specifically mentioned. Guess I can be one of the "Generic" "Parody Writers"...5's
Bwahaha... you didn't mention me, so I'm gonna have to give you ones. Oh, wait, that joke already got pulled. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to 5 it, then.
Very funny
You do really good stuff with Broadway musicals.
Inside-joke parodies are hard to do without rehashing the same themes, but you did a reasonably good job. 5-4-5...
God! Emi, you are such a cynic!
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