O come, all ye thriftful
Buying in abundance
O come ye with wailing babes
And get things for them
Come to the stores, we'll
Spoil your little angels

O come and do your shopping
O come and do your shopping
O come and do your shopping
Buy it all!

(a chorus of cherry cheeked children sings the next)
Away in the Arctic
When kids are in bed
There's Santa and Rudolph
(His nose is so red)
To all the good children
He comes in his sleigh
And leaves them their presents
To find Christmas Day

Hark, the harassed housewives sing
Plastic trees are just the thing
Shops are crowded, kids are wild
Useless tat is bought for child
Sadly all the prices rise
Seems that Santa's left the skies
With the talk-show hosts proclaim
Society is all to blame
Hark, the harassed housewife sings,
I must buy Lord of the Rings

The turkey and the gravy
With herbs and spices crowned
With all of the most tasty food
The turkey must be found

The wrapping of the pressies,
The pouring of the beer
The playing of merry boardgames
Shall aid our Christmas cheer

The turkey bears the wishbone
As magic as can be
And Christmas has the baubles
That hang upon the tree

The specials on the telly
The relatives are here
The drinking of sherry gladly
Will make this day less clear

In the bleak midwinter
Gifts are being thrown
Underwear of nylon
Last year's mobile phone
Prices fallen - out we'll go
Out we'll go
To the January sales
Spend our Christmas dough

Silent night, lonely night
Houses warm, gifts are bright
Love is hidden out of the cold
Tokens given, slivers of gold
Still we're longing for peace
Still we're longing for peace

Silent night, lonely night
Eyes avert from the sight
Broken world with hungry hearts
Seems that trouble never departs
Hope is clear out of stock
Hope is clear out of stock

Silent night, lonely night
Tucked away, out of sight
God's extravagant saving grace
Here marked worthless and out of place
Christ the Saviour is lost
Christ the Saviour is lost