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Song Parodies -> "You're Beginning To Look A Lot Like Terrorists"
Original Song Title:
"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
Original Performer:
Various
Parody Song Title:
"You're Beginning To Look A Lot Like Terrorists"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Mind what you search for, especially if you might have an inquisitive and possibly slightly vindictive former employer. Read all about it
You're beginning to look a lot like Terr'rists
Everywhere you go
If you're googling from Khartoum
'Bout anything that goes "boom"
The NSA will have a way to know
You're beginning to look a lot like Terr'rists
Soon the cops will call
All the things that they're looking for
When they batter down your door
Were on your Facebook wall
There'll be backpacking bombs, and
Sneak attack bombs
Bombs that are quite unstable
There'll be any-sized bombs
Improvised bombs
Bombs that you can't disable
And it's quite bad to find "jihad" in your search history..
Backpacks and pressure cookers
Cheap mobile phones for remote release
If your research is full of these searches
You'll get a call from the terror police
Mercury tilt switches
H2O2 and smoke alarms
Sodium chlorate a-mmonium nit-er-ate,
All used for making bombs
All used for making bombs
Everywhere you go
If you're googling from Khartoum
'Bout anything that goes "boom"
The NSA will have a way to know
You're beginning to look a lot like Terr'rists
Soon the cops will call
All the things that they're looking for
When they batter down your door
Were on your Facebook wall
There'll be backpacking bombs, and
Sneak attack bombs
Bombs that are quite unstable
There'll be any-sized bombs
Improvised bombs
Bombs that you can't disable
And it's quite bad to find "jihad" in your search history..
Backpacks and pressure cookers
Cheap mobile phones for remote release
If your research is full of these searches
You'll get a call from the terror police
Mercury tilt switches
H2O2 and smoke alarms
Sodium chlorate a-mmonium nit-er-ate,
All used for making bombs
All used for making bombs
PS I found this works really well as a performance piece, if you've got someone to sing the second part :-)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 3 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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555 for stanzas 1 - 3, but stanza 4's pacing doesn't fit what I remember from Perry Como.
SS, FBI, ATF waste a lot of time harassing citizens who put the wrong "trigger" word in their email or Facebook. If people don't like or trust the govt, after such a visit, they really won't. I know someone who got a visit from the FBI for taking a photo of a sunset reflected in the glass of an office building. The feds wanted to know why he was taking pictures of FBI vehicles. He wasn't even aware of the cars parked in front of the nondescript office building. That's why real threats are overlooked. The whole embassy closure thing is just a publicity stunt to divert attention away from or justify NSA snoopervision of all movement or communication on earth.
I-I'm afraid to comment now 5's
Since the simple fact you have an online presence is enough for certain agencies to deem you a 'terrorist threat', 555 for the lot. Yeah, I'm rebelling. Come 'ead, NSA.
Beautiful, stuff, Phil... or should I call you 'Snowsama'?
And who the heck unibombs quality (A: Terr'rists!)
And who the heck unibombs quality (A: Terr'rists!)
:-) Thanks all - especially those shy, retiring souls who vote 1s but can't bring themselves to say anything. Your contribution is valued.
Barry - the last stanza should scan to "Pine cones and holly berries", and it kind of works if you put the two together (with extra thanks to Ian Sir Gigalot Newman for trying that out with me)
Patrick - there are a lot of modern-day snake oil salesmen who try, sometimes successfully, to convince governments or security services that their algorithms can detect malign intent from snooped conversations - until their hit rate nears 100%, they're worse than useless.
Jonathan - yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.
Sheogorath - :-) ..and by that logic, we'll need a few billion people in the security agencies to police this threat
TJC - "Snowsama"???
Barry - the last stanza should scan to "Pine cones and holly berries", and it kind of works if you put the two together (with extra thanks to Ian Sir Gigalot Newman for trying that out with me)
Patrick - there are a lot of modern-day snake oil salesmen who try, sometimes successfully, to convince governments or security services that their algorithms can detect malign intent from snooped conversations - until their hit rate nears 100%, they're worse than useless.
Jonathan - yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.
Sheogorath - :-) ..and by that logic, we'll need a few billion people in the security agencies to police this threat
TJC - "Snowsama"???
Very good spoof, Phil. It is all good, particularly the "Khartoum/Boom" couplet, but I might have liked it just a little better if you didn't have to turn terrorist into a 2-syllable word.
JJ - I know what you mean: in performance, Ian sang it as three syllables & it fits pretty well, but I knew if I wrote it that way I'd get pedants telling me it doesn't scan with "Christmas". Ah, well.. :-)
Heady stuff, Phil. Well done. Sorry for the belated comment, but life gets in the way now and then. The title 3-syl switch is quite acceptable, I think, because it's easily singable and there's no better alternative. This was substantial, topical and provocative. 555
The definition of terrorist will always be problematic. For the US govt, it's a useful catch-all for all perceived enemies of the state. Are 'freedom-fighters', 'rebels', 'insurgents' and 'resistance operatives terrorists too? If we simply apply the criterion 'those who instil a climate of fear' or 'those who target civilians' then we have to include regular soldiers in that definition. Come to think of it, one could argue we even have a resident terrorist on the site.
The definition of terrorist will always be problematic. For the US govt, it's a useful catch-all for all perceived enemies of the state. Are 'freedom-fighters', 'rebels', 'insurgents' and 'resistance operatives terrorists too? If we simply apply the criterion 'those who instil a climate of fear' or 'those who target civilians' then we have to include regular soldiers in that definition. Come to think of it, one could argue we even have a resident terrorist on the site.
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