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Song Parodies -> "What A Face I Saw In Cheeses"

Original Song Title:

"What A Friend I Have In Jesus"

Original Performer:

Traditional Hymn

Parody Song Title:

"What A Face I Saw In Cheeses"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The story of the Virgin Mary in Grilled Cheese, for sale on eBay. Honest.
What a face I saw in cheeses, it was the Virgin, that I swear
I think I'll stick it up on eBay and see what the market'll bear
The bidding opened at three thousand, not bad now that the toast's all hard
It swiftly passed through seven figures... Cheeses christ, oh thank the Lard

This cheesy sandwich helps me gamble, I've won oh, thousands with it there
By why does Mary help the dice fall? Like I should know.. why should I care?
So if you'd like this Holy Rarebit, please bid what you think it's worth
It's now more than a million dollars... you see! It brings luck not a curth

Oh, shame another bid retraction, my hopes could not have got much higher
But still, one hundred million bucks is more than your av'rage PayPal buyer
And, look! It's only just been nibbled, it's really only bitten once
Who'd want to eat the Virgin Mary? A million-dollar losing dunce!

I know it is the Blessed Virgin - I'm sure, I've got her picture here
The photo that I bought on eBay, it's very old so none too clear
So when you go toasting your sandwiches, afore you eat them please regard
Oh, what a face I saw in cheeses, cheeses christ, Oh thank the Lard
While I was writing this, the bidding went up to $99,999,999.00... but this bid for some strange reason was retracted. There have been quite a few $1M bids which have also been retracted, but the current bidding is at $69k. Not bad for a toasted cheese sarnie.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 1
 
 5   17
 19
 18
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steve K. - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know the original song, but I have heard of this story. Sorry to see that "Mr. 1" has shown up.
Airfarcewon - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This is hilarious..and cleverly concocted...Someone "Oned" you...tried to put holes in your cheese and make it swiss...but I'm going all the whey on this and give "5"'s
Phil Alexander - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
For those who DKTOS, I got the lyrics/midi here: http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis/hymns.html (to be honest, I used this page to decide which hymn to use for the song). Amusing aside: I didn't realized 'till I played the MIDI that this is the tune that Billy Connolly used for his parody "Jesus Christ I'm nearly 40" ;-)
John Barry - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
P.T. Barnum would love this. Good job, Phil. Love the title.
Melhi - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Gotta agree with John Barry! Funny stuff, Phil!
alvin rhodes - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
a hilarious parody over an even more hilarious situation...my favorite story like this concerned an image of jesus which suddenly appeared on a wall somewhere in texas after a heavy rain...it turned out that the rain washed over some crud and revealed an old willie nelson concert poster...
Phil Alexander - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Had to go looking for that, Alvin - looks like it was in Guatemala City in 1987... wonder if that's worth a parody, too?
Johnny D - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious! The last line is classic. If the French word for "grease", "graisse", is pronounced " grice ", then it could have been "cheeses graisse, Oh thank the Lard".
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
As far as I know, the French word _graisse_ sounds more like "gress" or even "grace" in English phonetic spelling..."Amazing _Graisse_", anyone?

Back to the parody though...there were a few pacing flaws, but the story and OS choice were pretty funny. 4-5-5.
Meriadoc - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent Phil! I haven't looked yet on Ebay, but I was hearing about this all day yesterday on the radio, and 4KQ was promoting the story by offering $1000. for any supernatural images brought into their station. ;-D
Steven Cavanagh - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
No cheesy Philling! Always sad to see Christianity defamed by tacky non-biblical superstition. Makes a good parody though :-) And since Jesus had brothers, why do Catholics still call her the virgin mary?
Brian Cullen - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, took me a few seconds to remember the tune all the way through but I really, honestly, laughed out loud at the end of the first verse. Very topical and very funny, nice one!
FuNkY mOnKeY - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is comedic gold(en-brown toast, dipped in ketchup). I love this parody ... and I love grilled cheese! Hmm, 'Supernatural Grilled Cheese' .... it sounds like a band name doesn't it?
Kristof Robertson - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
"Thank the lard"...your wordplay is priceless, Phil! 555
Phil Alexander - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Kristof, but I can't take full credit for the "Thank the lard" lyric: it was on a messageboard for this story, and I couldn't resist using the line.
Steven - I guess that calling her the "Ex-Virgin Mary" wouldn't have the same ring to it ;-)
FuNkY mOnKeY - there's quite a few "Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese" spoofs popping up, but a band? Now, *there*'s an idea...
Stuart McArthur - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
there's a lot to this Phil...
the Virgin Mary Nancy Taal has always been linked with cheese, esp M.N.Thal (boom boom) - it's late - take the 5s
Sweet Indigo - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheeses they show me... Excellent parody. Simply beautiful. Praise the Lard!
2Eagle - November 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I saw it , too. That's nothing. I have a fruitcake with a picture of Osama Bin Laden that came from Ralph's bakery.
Phil Alexander - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Just to keep up-to-date: after several bids in excess of $1,000,000 (not to mention a few dozen others) had been retracted, it finally sold for $28,000 - now, THAT's an expensive bit of toast.

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