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Song Parodies -> "NRA Type"

Original Song Title:

"Toys-R-Us Kid"

Original Performer:

Toys-R-Us Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"NRA Type"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

New gun legislation DOA? What does anyone expect in a nation that has a deep-rooted history of gun ownership and individual right to bear arms? Existing laws need only to be enforced and mental illness identified and treated. There is no need for universal background checks and even having them will do nothing against those with no criminal record that are mentally deranged. Criminals also would benefit from new laws as they always know how and where to buy guns illegally. Besides, there are no real "assault weapons" for sale at any gun store in America. Only single-shot sporters and tac shotguns, auto-pistols, and scary-looking .22s!!! None are fully automatic, nor combat ready in the true sense. If so there would be TMPs, submachine guns, true assault rifles, and machine guns for sale. Those are already illegal and even Hellfire switches are 100% legal with the BATF. It tries to provide the sense of full-auto fire, but you still have to pull the trigger continuously and fire any rifle with it from the hip which means it is inaccurate in the extreme. I hate to say it but Giffords is a hypocrite. She and her husband own auto pistols and fire them. If she hates guns so much she should tell her husband to get rid of their Glocks (for a start) instead of giving interviews with them on CNN! Besides, she could have been shot in the head with a MORE POWERFUL hunting rifle acting as sniper in .300, .308, or .338LM!!! She would be dead and same for a shotgun blast to the face. IMO, she's an idiot as is anyone who blames an inanimate object for a person's psychotic actions. No gun fires itself nor plots to kill scores of people in a movie theater, mall, or elementary school.

We‘ll never give guns up,
We’re the NRA type,
“What 90% of America wants?”
Don‘t believe it- it‘s hype!
More pistols,
more rifles,
more political games,
Ban? No way! Feel might of the Right!!!
The Liberals know,
that folks prefer gun rights,
Better to vote
Pro-NRA/Right!
Btw, I am NOT on the NRA side but just support the right to bear arms, which is Constitutional. I agree that this nation has a history of gun making and ownership, but disagree with the NRA on the types sold in modern times that do not come from the US but from the Second and Third Reichs. Those are German weapons designed to kill scores of people. THEY invented: the auto pistol, the first true SMG, the first double-action auto pistol, the assault rifle, and the hand-held grenade launcher. The US invented sniping with hunting rifles, the Old West repeaters, carbines, and Gatling Gun, the Colt Peacemaker, the M1911A, the Thompson SMG, and a ton of shotguns. THOSE the NRA can claim. If the NRA truly followed US historical lines then the only guns available at the gun store would be: wheel gun pistols, only American brand auto-pistols mainly by Colt, hunting shotguns, hunting rifles, and .22 pistols and rifles. It's pretty obvious what the effect of German gun development has done to the world. And it continues as Rheinmetall develops a plasma weapon! What will the NRA do when that thing or a polyslug-thrower, or flechette-firing rifle, caseless weapon, or powerband weapon hits the battlefield? Claim that those weapons are covered by the 2nd Amendment too???

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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Patrick - April 19, 2013 - Report this comment
The laws against hand-held full auto are an infringement, too. The Miller case in 1939 was decided in an improper manner, with the court failing to apply common sense or its own logic. Much like the poorly written Lautenberg Amendment in 1986. The feds know what they want, and the letter of the law means little. Most Supreme Court judges are advanced in age and prone to health problems. They must keep that in mind in deciding which cases to accept and how to rule, when their political masters have a particular outcome at stake.
Rob Arndt - April 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the additional comments Patrick! Do you notice that nations that are neutrals and non-aligned like Switzerland and Israel for example allow troops to take their military weapons home and there is virtually none of the casual gun violence there is in the US!!! They have full-auto and don't go on rampages; in fact, in Israel military arms in communities have killed many terrorists attempting to come at night. The Israelis and ME nations are smart b/c they let the dogs out at night in the towns to alert of murderers coming in from the sea or on land. Even Rabbis carry auto-pistols and assault rifles! I'm also puzzled by the knifing rampage a while back or people that use cars to mow people down- does anyone ever want to ban cutlery or different models of cars? No! WHY does common sense prevail in these incidents but not with guns?
constitution guy - April 21, 2013 - Report this comment
i could take one of my 6 shot pistols into a public school, kill 6 people, and that is still a terrible event. having 2 six shooters gets me 12. having 3 gets 18. FAST TOO. dont worry about clip size or if it is automatic, worry about government trying to fix things. one reason other countries dont have gun violence is because the criminals are afraid of the instant punishment. in the U.S., a life sentence murdered gets out in 7 years average. prison in america is much better than anywhere else. america also has our government drugging our kids with seriously dangerous meds and many kids in america dont even know who their dad is. what would one expect? by the way, the NRA never killed anyone, neither have i and i owe a fair stable of fire arms. enforce the laws that are in place and actually quickly punish the offenders.
Rob Arndt - April 21, 2013 - Report this comment
So true CG. Seems like every time there is a serious problem be it gun massacres to the national debt or healthcare, the Federal Govt wants to punish the innocent with new laws. With gun violence they blame types and want to punish LEGAL gun owners instead of enforcing the existing tough gun laws. For the debt they want to punish the Middle Class and poorest segments of society by increasing taxes, furloughs, and cutting services to the most needy. For healthcare, let's increase taxes and rip-off Medicare by almost $1 Trillion. Cut Social Security COLAs too! America no longer functions as a true democracy with the checks and balances, indeed the very Constitution, discarded. Powerful lobbies, special interests, and corporations run everything. Alcohol and cigarettes kill more than guns, but no one wants to ban them (Prohibition only led to better organized crime). We live in an upside-down world of immorality and ceaseless violence in many forms. And CG... you're alos right about the Govt and pharmaceuticals telling everyone that they need to be on drugs from cradle to the grave!!! I have had literally hundreds of weapons in my nearly 50 years and never harmed a soul. All were locked away and controlled at all times. No one had access to them- ever. And I have blown off tens of thousands of rounds and do not fear any firearm or edged weapons. Btw, I would be more worried about electronic attack than firearms. A high-powered EMP backpack device can take down an entire electrical grid or nuclear reactor, cars on a freeway, the Internet, and so on...

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