THE LAST LOG ON THE FIRE.

I put another log on the fire
I've made you up a nice hot cup of tea
I've filled your pipe and brought your favourite slippers
And then I let you walk all over me.

At Christmas don't I let you take us camping
To our little love nest in the scrub
The kids and I all holed up in a four-berth
While you spend your two weeks down the pub.

Now don't I tell you when to pluck your nose-hairs?
Or don't I tell you when to shave your ears?
And don't I hear you brag about that beer-pot?
Although you haven't seen your toes for years.

So I've put another log on the fire
And I've brewed you up a nice hot cup of tea
I'll just pop down and pick you up some cold ones
While you relax in front of your TV.

Now I'm cruising down the highway for the border
Got my kids, my suitcase and my coat
I made the tea, but darn, I left the gas on
Well now Hon, I guess that's all she wrote.

Yeah, I put another log on the fire
I made you up your last hot cup of tea
I filled your filthy pipe for the last time
Now little man, you've seen the last of me!