Song Parodies -> "Walk Fiercely, Hamsters"

Original Song Title:

"Fight Fiercely, Harvard"

Original Performer:

"Walk Fiercely, Hamsters"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Is it just me, or is America's Next Top Model getting crappier every cycle? It's reached the point where reading about the show on Television Without Pity is more fun than actually watching it. That website calls the contestants "hamsters", which I find perfect. They're not models (and most of them never will be). They're just hamsters, running around in Miss Tyra Banks' Habitrail of Ego. I think those hamsters need a march, just for them.

Walk fiercely, hamsters!
Walk, walk, walk!
Demonstrate your runway skills
If you can win this cycle's fight
You will be Cover Girl's new shill
When you move on from Tyra's mod'ling class
They'll make you pull the stick from Nigel's ass
How jolly!
Hurl that dinner down the drain
And walk, walk, walk!

Walk FIERCELY, hamsters!
Walk, walk, walk!
And show us what "Top Models" do
Hey, bitches!
If you let Miss Tyra down
A "Brady" waits for you!
C'mon, girls - play Miss Tyra's ego game
And find the next day, we forget your name
We're sorry!
Just forget those shattered dreams
And walk, walk, walk!
In six-inch heels now...
Walk, walk, walk!
And DO walk fiercely...
Walk, walk, walk!

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Paul Robinson - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

These things ALWAYS get crappier with time, Ravyn...I don't know the OS (I know - shame on me for not knowing much Tom Lehrer stuff, but that how it goes), and I don't watch the "Top-Model" but I don't have to to know that this is spot-on. 5's ~ ~ ~

alvin rhodes - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

love the concept...very zen

Ravyn Rant - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

Thanks, guys! Paul - the show was always pretty crappy, but at first it was crappy in a "so bad it's good" way. Now it just reeks - the last epi had the host telling one of the hamsters that she had to "work on her hypothermia", which she developed after a photo shoot in an unheated pool. Oh, and you're cheating yourself out of a whole bunch of laughs not knowing much Tom Lehrer. Seriously.

John Barry - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

Walk like a ham[ster], Walk like a ham[ster], Walk like a ham[ster], down run[way]. Nice job.

AFW - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

Funny premise, and very well done

Yoidy - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

I like the bit about the stick in Nigel's ass. Guess I'm anal that way! 555

Spaff.com - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment

Those damn Bradys. Heh heh. Thanks to you, Ravyn, I spent an hour today reading "Television Without Pity" synopses of America's Next Top Model and The Surreal Life. Fun stuff. And at least I only wasted that hour and not all the hours it would have taken to watch the actual shows.

Ravyn Rant - December 05, 2006 - Report this comment

Thanks, John and AFW! Yoidy...thanks for sharing, dude. Spaff - you'll be sure to spend the time you're saving writing parodies, right?

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