I'm not even going to tell you why I gave it all 5s...I'm kind of scared of you...; )

I usually don't install fear in elves...that doesn't sound like a good thing. Thanks for the 5s, princess.

For someone who is 'reasonable' and 'not fragile', you're pretty nasty here to people who give low ratings. I think people who give 1-1-1s generally are flamers who don't care if they piss you off. Then there are people whose honest judgement sometimes dictates a low rating, but they might not want to leave a comment because they are afraid the writer is thin-skinned and can't take criticism and they don't want to start a flame war or be ostracized (uh, or so I imagine). Sadly, the tone of this seems to supports that fear, though admittedly I might be just taking this parody way too seriously. [Can I leave a comment with no rating, or does that make me 'yeller' too? :-)]

Oohh..I get it! (D'oh!)...a bit slow this afternoon. Cheers babe

Who, then, do you USUALLY install fear into?? =)

I would vote my conscience, Kristof,
but then you might get pissed off
about my 3-2-3,
cause your pacing is off a bit,
your tone is quite mean-spirited,
so it's so-so to me.

If you're careful with your pacing,
and make your tone less bracing,
and for perfection strive,
then it would be my pleasure
to award (in equal measure)
ratings of 5, 5 and 5!

That's more like it! Anon....I'm sorry that this came across as nasty to you, that was not it's intent (I've probably got issues!! :-)). My reply is: yes, there are some parodists who can't take criticism, but that's their problem, not the raters. Those who can't take (constructive) criticism shouldn't submit...equally those who can't give criticism constructively should shut up. I hate flaming, but it shouldn't sabotage honest dialogue. And no, you're not "yeller" for not voting, it's the feedback that I want, not the ego stroking of a bunch of 5s. Bush League...I think you've missed my personal point: I won't get pissed off by a bad score.."Give me heat if I deserve"...re. my "bracing" tone, well sometimes you've got to drive a message home with a hammer. As for my pacing...well, I think we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. Thanks for your comments!!

You're absolutely right -- I should have written:

I shall vote my conscience, Kristof, and trust you won't get pissed off about my 3-2-3...

I think I was just so taken with the idea of rhyming 'Kristof' and 'pissed off', I wasn't thinking. Thanks for being gracious about my comments, though, especially given the fact that you just 5-5-5'd my recent submission!

That's OK BL...and I hope you'll read some of my other work: I'm not always this angry and narrow-minded :-)

I don't think you were being angry or narrow minded at all! You have a legitimate beef. I will be honest and say that I am a bit cowardly. I don't go around giving 1's, but if I read a parody that I don't like, I normally just don't vote at all. Kind of goes along with the whole "if you can't say something nice" vein. Anyway, I liked this one, and your pacing was right on. Bush League's parody of your parody was the one that was off. (Sorry, but it's true - the last two lines of the first stanza.) And see, I feel guilty for saying that! Because I know that my pacing isn't always perfect either! But that's exactly why I don't go around giving 1's or telling anybody else that they're off. Because nobody's perfect...

Nice job.
This is why I leave more votes than comments -- say "nice job" a couple of times and it says a lot, but say it too many times and it means nothing.

Plus, I generally reckon the numbers I leave pretty much say it, most of the time -- I left a 4,5,5 here and I'm going to tell you why, but you probably already have some idea of why.

Pacing
You didn't stick slavishly to the original, but it's not like I was scratching my head over whether you'd cited the correct original song, either... if you were going to record this, I'd encourage you to keep the poetic license you've taken, here... Weird Al probably wouldn't get a lot of 5s on pacing, here, but his poetic licenses translate very well to recordings and make the parodies uniquely his, instead of just carbon copies of the original.

Funny
I got a kick out of it -- the "'one' truck" line was my first chuckle and I really liked that you mixed the snide or cynical with the humurous -- I'm a sucker for snide humor -- hence the five for funny.

Overall
I thought it was well written, a good idea not poorly executed, a clever song choice, I didn't have to get out a decoder ring and drop a hundred IQ points to decipher my way through newbie-speak or illiteracy, you got the point across well, etc. How I treat "overall" varies widely because it lets me take a lot of things into account that the other two categories don't cover. I might give one parody a 5 in overall because it has commercial potential or to another because it's on a topic I don't know at all (like sports,) but the author managed to write it so that I "got it," too. I do NOT use "oveall" as an average of the other two and I look for reasons to rate high in that category.

As for how I rate, in general, I've rarely bothered to vote when I would have left numbers under 3 and to get a 1 out of me, it has to be a complete miss in the category, unreadable or just flat out plagerized. Do I agree with the narrator of this parody? Not really. A one on a controversial parody means you struck a nerve and that's better than a five. A one on a not-controversial parody probably means the voter didn't bother to read the parody. Occasionally, I've received batches of ones spread out over some of my older submissions and the submissions they chose made it very obvious that the ones were bestowed to lower my averages. (I like numbers almost as much as I like words, so I spotted the flaw in the formula long before anyone exploited it on my submissions) I kinda feel sorry for anyone who places so much importance on the averages, here, that they'd purposely set about lowering averages to make their own look higher. The last time it happened, I had insomnia and got bored watching the ones rack up as my catalog was picked through, so I exploited the same flaw to raise averages on several authors who consistently turn in top notch work, but whose averages didn't show it. Heh heh.

Hi, Kristof! Hey, sometimes we all need to rant a little, I know I do! I have read some of your other stuff and have been greatly entertained. You are a good writer and possess a warped sense of humor, two needed requisites for this site. Sometimes it's a real challenge to inject humor into something we feel so strongly about, and I think that's what happened here. Looking forward to your next one!

Kristof - I don't think this was mean-spirited. Blunt? For sure - absolutely. Sometimes a blunt object will draw attention and I understand often will avoid blood (while still inflicting considerable hurt). As to the pacing it appears to me that you employed the same technique as the original number, which changes tempo within lines (did I describe that accurately? my brain is slightly hazy - just got up a bit ago). That would make the pacing correct to my way of thinking. Also, responding to your self-critiquing comment, I wouldn't call this narrow-minded, either. I WOULD say it was written from a particularly sharply-edged POINT OF VIEW (Capitalization here is an example of "Blunt object" referred to above). I consider that an attitude appropriate to the topic at hand, since you seem to want others to take it seriously. It worked with me. Assessing voting patterns I sometimes feel I'm a bit easy with the 5's and that a bit of "score-inflation" runs thru the site, but there really are a lot of very fine pieces put out every day here. And there are times I start to read a parody and it doesn't do much for me and rather than spending much time thinking of whether to vote "2" or "3" or whatever I will just take a pass on it. Perhaps it would be better to make the vote and do a fair critique, but I would rather move on and spend my time looking for better, funnier stuff to enjoy. Thanks for posting your parody, I found it good food for thought. We can all use a little roughage in our diets from time to time to help flush some of the candy/sugar from our brains. OH...almost forgot, yes, I voted 5's on this. OH...ONE more thing. Writer's who can't take or don't want criticism can leave the box for "Comments" unchecked. One is given the option and must take an affirmative step to get comments. Of course, doing so also forgoes all those pats on the back, too.

Gosh...thank you Rod, and especially Melhi and Paul, for your thoughtful comments. I happen to agree with them all! Paul, you're right about the comments option...Bill Tong does it all the time. Yes it was hard to make this light-hearted....but i wanted some serious feedback, and goddamn, I got it! Cheers

Yeah...I was a bit taken back by all the "mean spirited" accusations, as well. I, personally, think it is meaner to leave a one and no comment than anything in this parody says. I wrote my own parody on the subject...a lot of people have...because I think we all get frustrated with it sometimes. And besides...we ALL know that Kristof isn't a mean guy! Look at all those nice things he said in his parody about me yesterday...; )

Gosh...thank you Rod, and especially Melhi and Paul, for your thoughtful comments. I happen to agree with them all! Paul, you're right about the comments option...Bill Tong does it all the time. Yes it was hard to make this light-hearted....but i wanted some serious feedback, and goddamn, I got it! Cheers

fives...HEARTFELT ones, too....

Kristof & the Elvish Princess - I can't help myself - Arwen, you shouldn't be afraid here, after all, didn't FDR (former U.S.President Frank Delano Roosevelt) say: "We have nothing to fear but fear our elves." Hey, does that mean we should be afraid of you, Arwen? Nah...FDR probably didn't hang around with the right elves.

I can't believe I said "Frank Delano Roosevelt". Especially when I was trying to pun his famous statement made on the brink of WW II. What a jerk! The correction: "Franklin Delano Roosevelt" (oh, I hope that's right - I'm too lazy to "Google-hop" to check to see if that's how he spelled his first name).

I just hit the "Random" button and voted 5-5-5 on somebody's parody.

Amen. This was brilliantly clever. 4-5-5!

Nobody needs to be afraid of me...I'm the nicest girl on the block!

Hey, Arwen, just because FDR was afraid of elves doesn't mean that I am...so who is the 2nd nicest girl on the block? Just kidding, but I often wonder about stuff like that.

Ashkissass, ok, I can take criticism, but I have to refute it, if it's factually incorrect: count the syllables:
And(cause)-my9your)-head(pa)-I'd(cing)-be(is)-scrat(off)-chin'(a)-While(b­it)-my(your)-thoughts(tone)-were(is)-bu(quite)-sy(mean)-hat(spir)-ch­in'(i)-if(ted)-I(so)-on(it's)-ly(so)-had(so)-a(to)-brain(me).
Yes, I forgive you. :-) Each can have his own opinion, but facts is fax.

OK, first of all Paul gets all "ones" for that FDR-elf pun !!! :D As to this parody, Kristof you have some strikes agin ya, me hearty. Pacing is off, especially since you seem to have forgotten a bridge (Picture me a balcony . . . etc.). The subject is an in-joke and, though I have written one or two "ins" myself I generally shy away from them. It is not really funny, though it does make a good point in its way. I do a lot of political stuff and seldom get dissed directly for it (Michael zapped me the other day but at least he was up front about it.) I agree with the earlier poster who pointed out that MOST of the "ones" guys are flamers or maybe they're just trying to lower your score so theirs will look better in comparison. Under normal circumstances, I would not vote for this parody since I tend to avoid slapping people around if I don't like their stuff. But considering the message of the parody I think it is appropriate to give this a set of threes. 'Tis me honest assessment, and ye canna ask for more than tha'!

I humbly retract my pacing comment and offer my most sincere apologies, Bush League. I must have been singing the tune incorrectly in my head, which happens more often than I'd like.

Just thought I'd drop three 5's for ya, bro.... I'm working on the Appreciation week thing, so probably tomorrow or Sunday, you should expect a few more votes on your material....

Okay everybody! Break it up.Some order here,please? Now Kris ,I find the comments in your parody neither blunt(being from such a sharp mind.)nor mean-spirited(mainly because I feel the same way about dropping a 1 without saying why or even worse dropping a 1 and simply saying"you suck!")But I do agree with Pauls' comments on the "comments" box---once you give the okay for the commentary,anyone can give their opinion even if they don't know what the word "opinion means! Paul,I am going to have cite you for that "elves" remark,(tee-hee),and to everyone else---if you can't say something nice-let Randy and Paula say it for you !4-4-5 pacings' a little off-I could've done without the"nasty liqiud fart"line (just my opinion ) -but the song does bring it's point across(hence the 5)

All fives, not just for something that needed to be said, but on freakin' merit. Take that, Ones Guy, you cowardly little snot!

Ashkickass, no prob. Sometimes pacing can be hard to judge on a syllable-by-syllable basis, since most contemporary pop songs alter the rhythm slightly from verse-to-verse to accommodate the number of syllables of whatever words they want to use.
To anyone who thought I was being a jerk for calling the tone 'mean-spirited', I'm not saying the Kristof's mean, I'm saying the tone of the piece came off a bit harsh to me, referring to those who don't leave comments as essentially brainless and "yellow". It's subjective.

Thank you everybody who either fought my corner or took me to task...both "teams" get my utter respect. I think I probably ended up writing a parody that was harsher than I initially intended...but the feedback was worth it. Bush...there is a big difference between being brainless and not using the organ...maybe I didn't make that clear enough in the song. In retrospect, the pacing was a bit off...I didn't use a lyric sheet (shame on me!) and sung the song (obvously not accurately) in my head. I intentionally left the bridge out..don't ask me why, I was probably feeling a bit rebellious. It's been an interesting exercise, but probably won't make an iota of difference to the voting/comment patterns..people iz who they iz! And finally, the voter/commenter ratio was 11/14...don't ask me what that means!! All the best, Kristof

And Ashkickass, kudos for making any sense at all out of my confusingly-formatted syllabic analysis!

LOL, Bush League. It took me a minute...I'll admit it.

Very intelligent song. I like the way you put humor into something that would otherwise be Al Franken-ish-and he's only funny in his off days. Overall really good. Keep it up

Yo, good for you.

well I am so impressed at the time and care that everyome has taken over this issue.. it has clealry struck a nerve. I think the lyrics are weel written here with some good rhymes and they make the point very clearly and directly... I may sometimes decline to criticise a parody even though the subject matter may not be to my personal taste .. especially if it is clearly popular with many other commentators .. it's all very subjective at the end of the day!