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Song Parodies -> "If I Only Had a Mane"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had a Brain"

Original Performer:

The Wizard of Oz

Parody Song Title:

"If I Only Had a Mane"

Parody Written by:

Mr Find

The Lyrics

While this song is another one of my TV show Lost themed parodies, it is one non-Lost fans may be able to relate to, especially if they are follically-challenged, weight-challenged, or morally challenged. It is from a purportedly deleted scene of Locke, Hurley (aka Hugo) and Ben during their search for Jacob's shack back in season four. Please note that the spoken parts are in parentheses.
(Okay, boys, let's express our blues to the tune of "If I Only Had A Brain"...
and a one... and a two... and a...)
I could wash it in all hours
Organics with rare flowers
Cond'tioning with the rain
And my head would be dashin'
All my hair is so smashin'
If I only had a mane

I'd unravel all my tangles
Like one of The Bangles
Forget about Rogaine

With the hair you'd be growin'
It could be to ass-below'n
If you only had a mane

Oh, I would brag 'bout why
My coiffure's sheer allure
I could tint it colors never thunk before
And then I'd tease it some more

(Okay, my turn.)
I would forget about that muffin
Pass up on all that stuffin'
My menus full of plain
I won't be fat and merry -
Ho, ho, ho, nose like a cherry
If my appetite would wane

(BEN: Now, my turn. I WOULD BE SO-
LOCKE: Stop it right there, Ben. There are no more verses left.
BEN: Huh? Whaddyamean there are no more verses left?
LOCKE: The song is finished. I guess you will have to do
your thing to the "If I Only Had a HEART" song.
HURLEY: Wait a minute. I thought the point was to CHANGE the words.
BEN: I don't think that is very funny, Hugo.)
Check out more Lost song parodies at: Lost: The Rock Opera.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Andria - June 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm not follically challenged by any means, considering that I have 33-inch-long curly hair, but this was a bang-up job on your parody, Mr. Find. (pun on "bang", as in "bangs", wholly intended) 555 bottles of Rogaine for you.
Timmy1000 - June 16, 2009 - Report this comment
As a Lost fan - good job on this one.
Wufpakgrl - June 17, 2009 - Report this comment
very nice, I give you a full rating
Bilbopooh - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Hee! Very nice job. I especially like the Locke verses. And poor Ben... At least it looks like he got his heart after all!

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