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Song Parodies -> "If I Only Just Could Fart"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had A Heart"

Original Performer:

The Wizard of Oz

Parody Song Title:

"If I Only Just Could Fart"

Parody Written by:

Dr. Oliver Clozoff

The Lyrics

When a man’s in need of passing
Or rectally outgassing
And yet I lack that part
Just because I’m presumin’
That my rear end would be fumin’
If I only just could fart

I’d eat cabbage, beans, and lentils
My farts would not be gentle
They’d rip my ass apart
With internal pressure growin’
I could really do some blowin’
If I only just could fart

Picture me, on the potty
Next door a voice sings low

How ’bout a courtesy flush there, ‘bro?

I can excrete?? *fart* *plop* How sweet!

Just to have some bowel motion, and need some hemorrhoid lotion
Have butt cheeks that can part
I’d chow down sardines and kipper
Then I’d really let it ripper
If I only just could fart
Copyright (C) 2009 by The Parody Files.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. I enjoyed it.
Dr. Oliver Clozoff - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks. Glad *someone* did.
Nala Butt - February 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Waaaay funny! 454 (pacing not quite there). As for the guy who's loadin' up the 111s...SNIFF MY BUTT!!!
J - May 23, 2016 - Report this comment
How about adding: I would while away the hours, and fumigate the flower, and that is just a start, With my butt (*) always winking I could really do some stinking if I could only fart.

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