At night I’ve cursed an awful thirst
Then nursed myself with vodka, cool vodka.
I go to Joe’s, the barkeep knows
My craving grows for vodka,
Cool, clear vodka.

Keep a-pourin’, Joe, make it double for me, Joe,
Let the Stolichnaya flow
Leave the bottle, I’ve the dough for vodka.

Joe, I am thrilled, it’s thrice distilled,
So just keep the shot glass filled
And don’t let a drop be spilled,
O.K.?

I once drank Buds, but they were duds,
I switched from suds to vodka, cool vodka.
So in the morn, though I’m forlorn
I go to work for vodka,
Cool, clear vodka.

Keep a-pourin’, Joe, make it hundred-proof now, Joe,
Hocked my iPhone, don’t you know
‘Cause I need the extra dough for vodka.

Joe, do you think that centaur’s pink,
Do I quickly need the sink?
First, I’d like another drink,
O.K.?

The ‘holics pray at Double-A,
I’m gonna stay off vodka, cool vodka.
My name is Bill, and no more swill.
I light myself a Camel,
Sweet, warm Camel.

Keep a-smokin’, bro’, have a carton handy, bro’,
Suck that cigarette and blow
It will help you lose your need for vodka.

Bro’, it’s all right, each Tuesday night
We all pass around a light
‘Cause the Camels ease the fright,
O.K.?

I’m feeling sore, right in my craw,
It’s hurting more than vodka, cool vodka.
And though I cough, I should lay off
Another quaff of vodka
Cool, clear vodka.

“Call the EMS, give them Double-A’s address
I’m a member in distress,
And please send an SOS for vodka.”

“Bro’,” says the tech, “your lung’s a wreck
So I’m thinking – what the heck,
You’ll get vodka in a sec.
O.K.?”

Cool, clear vodka.