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Song Parodies -> "If We Only Had A Brain"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had A Brain"

Original Performer:

The Scarecrow

Parody Song Title:

"If We Only Had A Brain"

Parody Written by:

El DeRoblo

The Lyrics

Well some fought, but all lost. Four more years of emptiness,regret and devastation under the rules of the rich narrow minded. Now if that's not funny I don't know what is!
We could whine away the hours, conferrin' with the powers
Consultin' with the lame
And our heads we'd be scratchin' while no thoughts were busy hatchin'
If we only had a brain.
We'd unravel any riddle for any individ'le,
In rubbble or in pain.
With the thoughts we'd be thinkin' we could hatch another Lincoln
If we only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why the ocean's near the shore.
We could think of things we've never thunk before.
And then we'd sit, and think some more.
We would not be just a nothin' our heads all full of stuffin'
Our hearts all filled with pain
We would dance and be merry, we'd elect a winning-Kerry,
If we only had a brain.
"Armageddon a bad feeling about this"

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   10
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Righty - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
If that's the way you feel, you can move to Britain, loser. I should warn you, though, that they've probaby got a process of immigration just as long as Canada's (one year) if not longer.
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, El-D ...Righty - why do folks on your end of the spectrum always want to tell people to move when they don't agree with you? What, just because our candidate lost we don't have the right to express ourselves anymore? You know, something like 48% or more (I haven't looked at the final numbers, just hurts too much) of the voters didn't want your fellow in the White House again. Hardly a landslide. Anyway, here's an opinion for you, free of charge...shove it! OH...El-D - 5's here...
John Barry - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Why'd so many vote for pain?
An American - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, Paul, is "shove it" your only defense? Whether you voted for pain or not, at least no terrorists have struck big since 911. As I recall, "pain" wasn't one of the options. If so, they're would also be a "torture" option.
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
An American - "shove it" was merely an intemperate reaction to the suggestion "Righty" made that folks who don't agree with the direction we are headed in should leave the country. Intemperate, yes, but I don't see any need to apologize or retract it. If your only measure of a Presidency is whether a terrorist attack has occurred during a certain period of time then you should be quite please with everything that is going on here and abroad. That's a pretty low bar. Yes, losing 3,000 citizens at once to terrorism was horrific. But the actions of a reckless, feckless President can cause many times that number of deaths, and defeated hopes, dreams, aspirations, unrealized potential, of and to the people over whom he presides. Anyway, that's as much of my personal opinion about the matter that I care to share with you. Good day...
Righty - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I named Britain specifically because that's where the Daily Mirror, hater and slanderer of nearly 60 million "dumb" Americans, resides. I probably should also point out that it's lefties like you who are always threatening to move somewhere else but never doing it. And finally, if we conservative types are so "dumb," why is it that you lefties are always accusing us of having some really brilliant and evil plan to shaft you out of all your freedoms?
Lefty - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
You usually do.
Phil Alexander - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Righty - your logic is flawed: it doesn't take many clever (if misguided) individuals to come up with a plan evil and brilliant enough so the 60 million or so voting for them are too dumb to notice...
Righty - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, yeah, must be just a few elitists; there's some typical lefty logic for you! Of course, you lefties have always called those few supposedly brilliant and evil conservatives (such as Reagan and Bush) "dumb" too, so your logic is still completely incoherent. I should also point out that virtually no one is ever crazy, evil, or stupid in his own eyes, and you can draw more righties and centrists to your candidate with honey than you can with rat poison. If you want us to vote for Democrats, let go of your hate.
Phil Alexander - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Righty, you're still not thinking logically: speaking hypothetically here, of course... just because the figureheads stuck in charge are dumb, and the millions who vote for said dumb figureheads are also dumb does not mean there aren't clever people somewhere behind the scenes. I'll agree completely with your penultimate sentence, though... but just because they ain't crazy, evil or stupid in their own eyes don't mean they ain't.
Sweet Indigo - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought you could have been a bit more creative with the lyrics - they're still very close to the original
Righty - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Hoo hoo hoo! This is even richer! You got me, Alexander! I'm a member of that evil Jewish bankers' conspiracy that's to blame for all of your financial woes! No wait, that was the 1938 German conspiracy theory... I'll buy you a clue, brother: I've got a four-year college degree and relatively wealthy parents. If these shady conspiracies of brilliant and evil conservatives (or fundamentalists, or Jews, or whatever) really existed, don't you think they'd have tapped me to come work for them right now? In any case, it's pretty funny how you lefties keep yelling "Vote for our candidate, you lying thieving sexist racist murderous Nazi space monsters from Hell!" and then wondering why we voted for our fairly wise and decent candidate instead of your candidate who must be infinitely good and wise because he agrees with you that we're lying thieving sexist racist murderous Nazi space monsters from Hell.
Paul Robinson - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Righty - I was going to stay quiet after having my say earlier in another thread. But I have to comment here. Your statement - "I've got a four-year college degree and relatively wealthy parents. If these shady conspiracies of brilliant and evil conservatives (or fundamentalists, or Jews, or whatever) really existed, don't you think they'd have tapped me to come work for them right now?" You flatter yourself far too much here. Why? OK, I'll explain: you've managed to completely tangle and cross-wire whatever logic faculties you may possess with your political bent and biases. This has caused you to fall into the trap of stereotyping everyone who disagrees with you and putting them into a neat little box marked "lefty". You then assume that each and every one of "them" is the same in every way. It's a trap that I think we can all fall into now and then, but your thought processes are really deeply entombed in this extremely self-limiting artificial construct. YOU think "WE" are in your box. I cannot speak for others, but I am NOT. Take a look if you like, you will see that I am NOT in your neat little box. The deeper reality for you to deal with here is that YOU are the one in the box, and no one else put you there. So enjoy the scenery and have a nice day
Righty - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoa, so now the vast hidden cabal of must be refusing to hire me because I'm NOT logical? I never knew you were such a riot, Mr. Robinson! You and your ripe-lemon-suck lefty friends wouldn't happen to be putting any of us 60 million or so Bush voters in any boxes by calling us "stupid" now, would you? Or, for that matter, any of us lying thieving sexist racist murderous Nazi space monsters from Hell who must be manipulating them? No "stereotypes" and "tangled wires" in your logic, eh, Mr. Robinson? After all, you can't really be paranoid if we really ARE out to get you.
Paul Robinson - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Righty, you still just don't get it. I have done the complete OPPOSITE of stereotyping you. I have taken what YOU said and interpreted it and then told you what my impression of it is. I'm not ascribing any of the things I said about YOUR words or thought processes to any OTHER person who appears to be "Right-of-Center" politically. Nothing could be further from stereotyping, I am treating you as an Individual. And nowhere did I call you "Stupid" either. Find a place in this thread where I have done so. I just looked and in my three (3) previous comments here I have never called you "Stupid". I would have to say that was a conclusion YOU came to through your logical processes. AND I did not say that "the vast hidden cabal would REFUSE to hire" you, I merely stated that I thought you were severely over-estimating your potential value to such a hypothetical organization. I stand by that remark. AND, no I do not believe "You" are out to get me and have no paranoia about it. If I did I sure as heck wouldn't be freely sharing my opinions with you here, and certainly would not be using my own name. So you have again proven my earlier point: YOU are living in a self-limiting artificial construct of your own making. I have had no part in placing you where you are right now. I believe my "wires" are properly connected and my view is not obstructed by any box. It also appears to me that your competitive nature (and no, there is nothing wrong with competing, per se) will not allow you to gracefully bow out of this, which is too bad, because if anyone is keeping score, I don't think you are "winning" here, and I, frankly, am not keeping score, just trying to straighten out some of your misconceptions and rebut some of the inaccurate statements you continue to write about me. You're the one that's keeping this going now, I'm just responding in kind. Feel free at any time to call it quits and take your "Victory Lap"....
Righty - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Where did you call me stupid? Well, I'd have to say in the first place that I'm using "you" in the plural sense here, since I've been talking to the writer of this song and other critics as well as you, Mr. Robinson. There wouldn't be anything synonymous with "stupid" in wishing that we Bush voters "had a brain" now, would there? As for you in the singular sense, you did call me "dumb." That's synonymous with "stupid" isn't it? Here's where you said it: "Righty - your logic is flawed: it doesn't take many clever (if misguided) individuals to come up with a plan evil and brilliant enough so the 60 million or so voting for them are too dumb to notice..." Gosh, all 60 million of us? Who do you think I voted for? No stereotyping here, Mr. Robinson! Looks to me like your worldview is one involving a false dichotomy between people who must be stupid because they voted for Bush, and people who must be evil because they persuaded people to vote for Bush. When I call you on this inconsistency in your thinking, you accuse me of bad logic. Now you're sourpussing about all the things you didn't really say, or didn't really mean. Bad reasoning and bad philosophy will get you no further with the voters than demonizing and belittling them will.
Paul Robinson - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Righty, you are INCORRECT here. You have taken Phil Alexander's remarks and attributed them to me. If you want to address a group of people you THINK should be lumped together you should not address your comment to MY NAME or in fact to any single individual's name. I have addressed and treated you as an INDIVIDUAL because that is how I was taught to address people. You do not appear to be capable of making that type of distinction. Think about it for a minute or however long it takes to get a very simple matter of common courtesy and decency through that thick head of yours. More clear examples of the sloppiness in your thinking and reckless remarks and accusations. Let me make this clear: in addressing comments to MY NAME you shall not attach statements made by people other than MYSELF. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT , YOU IMBECILE?? YES, I JUST CALLED YOU AN IMBECILE. You have earned that designation with your behavior. I have again CAREFULLY reviewed EVERY statement that I have made in this thread and HAVE NOTcalled you STUPID and I HAVE NOT said you don't have a BRAIN, although at this point I might tend to agree with those statements. NOW, in this remark I have called you an IMBECILE. You also seem to be liar of sorts. You have continually placed words in my mouth that I have not said and I'm tired of it. At this point I will ask you to retract and apologize for those occasions you have misquoted or attributed statements to me that I did not make. Please refrain from doing so in the future. In fact, please refrain from addressing any further comments to me, except the apology and retraction I have requested. I do not expect you will honor my request because your actions here demonstrate a total lack of honor or honesty. I will not address you further at all from this point forth. I may request the Webmaster to delete any remarks you make towards me that misrepresent my statements or attributes statements made by other people to me be deleted from this thread. Thank you.
Phil Alexander - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I wouldn't get too worked up, Paul - to return to generalizations, Righty is obviously the sort of right-wing troll who has a set of standard arguments but doesn't always apply them in the right cases... I was going to riposte point by point but I realized it ain't worth it: he doesn't read half of what is written, and obviously understands an even smaller fraction of that.
Paul Robinson - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil...I realized that after I cooled down a bit. I promised not to talk to him anyone, but between just you and me the guy's a total moron...
El DE - November 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments. In answer to Sweet Indigo, yes I did leave some of the lyrics close to the original, but only because they deliver. There's no beating the original. To the left and right, no one's going anywhere - This is OUR home! We have the right to speak out because so many before us fought and died for OUR freedom. I have close friends and even closer family that support the right, which baffles me, but it doesn't change my feelings. I'm amazed that ANYONE can take Shrub and his weeds seriously. But money talks and greedy rule. It's about pleasing dad and oil, God and country are only in the mix to sway and justify as needed. Things will change eventually, I just hope there's enough "left" after Dubya's done. Thanks Paul
Righty - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
"I promised not to talk to him anyone, but between just you and me the guy's a total moron..." Yep. The old lawyer's trick worked like a charm. Too bad you talked so much like Alexander you were virtually indistinguishable from him, Mr. Robinson. Of course, you were already virtually indistinguishable from William Tong long before I ever said a word to you. For that matter, you're indistinguishable from a lot of people on here, hating Bush and all of his followers as bitterly and irrationally the way y'all (plural you!) do. Sorry for getting under your skins so much, Mr. Robinson and Co., but I figured it was about time you got a dose of your own medicine. Good luck with the voters, Robinson. Looks like you can already count out those of us who don't buy that bullshit of yours about creation and evolution either.
Guy - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Author's top comment.

QUOTE Well some fought, but all lost. Four more years of emptiness,regret and devastation under the rules of the rich narrow minded. Now if that's not funny I don't know what is! UNQUOTE

You describe the opposing candidate as rich - as oppossed to who? You can't mean John Kerry.

Now about your parody - It was wrtten well and spots of humor were injected liberally. A bit close to the original but I think someone already said that. Overall an enjoyable read. 5 4 4.
Uncle Sam - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Righty- Holy crap!! I've never seen peoples' comments go so far off subject to become a heated argument like that!! Life's too short, guys. The election's over, and the opinions of the leftist voters can't change the results at this point, so the victory is inherently for those who believe Bush to be the better candidate. For four years, at least.
Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Yah caught me...I'm prouda ya'...yeah, I shouldn't have said it, but I really felt like I owed you a few slurs, since you attributed so many to me that I never said. And this was a rather small, tongue-in-cheek one, at least I thought so...but just that one will have to suffice and satisfy me because I don't need the aggravation that I ended up with from our other exchanges and you probably don't care for being whacked around like that. I apologize, it was childish. See? It's not so hard to do that when you are wrong, is it? Anyway, I really promise to behave better and also not to bother responding to your political remarks if I can possibly help it. Peace...
martha - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
yay!

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