Christmas shopping on the Internet.
No one’s going to the mall.
If your system don’t crash when you’re going on line,
Won’t have to leave the house at all.

Everybody knows a rising NASDAQ and Dow Jones
Would help to make the season bright.
But, if mutual funds should begin to decline,
It will be hard to sleep at night.

The kids know Santa’s on his way.
He’s got the hottest toys for Christmas on his sleigh.
And each two-income family’s gonna pay
For Christmas well past [significant dramatic pause, then quickly sing] Memorial Day!

And, so I’m offering this simple phrase,
And hope that you will pray it through.
Although this song never has put it this way:
“What is Christmas to you?”

[Refrain]
The kids know Santa’s on his way.
He’s got the PS3 and X-Box on his sleigh.
And each two-income family knows they’ll pay
For Christmas [sing in dirge-like monotone] well past Mem—or—i—al—Day!

And, so I’m offering this simple phrase,
And hope that you will pray it through.
Although this song never has put it this way:
“What is Christmas…
“What is Christmas…
“What is Christmas to you?”