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Song Parodies -> "Cola (Don't Shake Those Machines!)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Cola (Don't Shake Those Machines!)"

Parody Written by:

Aaron Dodson

The Lyrics

I know, some people have already done parodies about cola, but this one is about someone who is a little to desperate for some Coke.
I saw that machine down in North Soho
Where you can get Sprite, Pepsi, or Coca-Cola
Co co Cola.

I walked up to the machine and reached in pants.
Put in my quarters and pressed the button that said "Cola"
C-O-L-A Cola, co co co cola

Well, I'm not the world's rudest guy,
But when the out of order light lit up I let obscenities fly
Oh my Cola, lo co co Cola

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why I haven't learned that these machines will eat your money again
Oh my Cola, co co co cola, co co co cola

Well, I grabbed on and shook that machine all night,
But all it would give me was a lousy Sprite,
So I got out my phone and dialed toll-free,
But the operator wouldn't do anything about my money

Well, I'm not the world's most impatient guy
But I was seriously considering dynamite,
Just to get my cola,
Co co co Cola, co co co Cola

I pushed it all day. I kicked at the door.
Then I got a jackhammer and started to bore
But nothing I did would do any smashing

Well that's the way I should have let it stay.
But I was so desperate for my cola.
Co co co Cola.

Coke will be warm and Sprite will be cold.
It's a carbonated caffeinated, shook up world,
except for Cola. Co Co Co Lola. Lo lo lo Lola.

Well my insurance policy stopped just a week before,
And I never ever read those stickers before,
That say if you shake the machine you will be dead,
When a ton of soda and metal land on your head

Well I'm not the world's most disfigured man,
but I know what I am and that I'm invalid,
Cause of ColaCo Co Co Cola. Co Co Co Cola.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

wdh - November 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm one of those people(only it was called Coke) ;-) The pacing was a bit off, but a pretty good song humor-wise
Michael Pacholek - November 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Much like New Coke, off to a good start, but lousy finish. Not to mention like Crystal Pepsi.
Peregrin - November 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, pacing was off, but you are on the right track. Mmmm, Coke... ;-)
pre-wipe tally - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacing: 1 five, 1 four, 4 threes, 2 twos
How Funny: 1 five, 6 fours, 1 three
Overall: 1 five, 4 fours, 3 threes
Sploopidy - April 21, 2008 - Report this comment

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