Knock-Knock, Sport - Daddy's home!
"Don't come in, Pop, I'm, uh, on the phone!!"

Caught a glimpse - It could be an illusion.
But what I saw is causing me confusion.

Talk to me, boy - Is that you wearin' Sissy's Tu-Tu?
(Yes, Yes)
Track star of mine - Became a drag queen in time.
Can I afford , Dear Lord, to share that he's a Fru-Fru?
(Oh, my!)
Life isn't fair - Have you a rifle to spare?

We live in PENNsylvania - WHERE the men work DOWN in the mine.
How DO I tell these RUGGED guys, "My SON looks devine?"
WEARIN' pink eye-liner, SATIN dress from China.
TELL me how to make my darling boy a miner.

THINK of all the WHISPERS I'll hear DOWN at the bar.
WE could move to TEENessee - I'll PACK up the car.
WON'T tell him we're goin',
'TIL our wheels are rollin'.
. . . YOU'VE heard of tough love? - THERE you are!

(Swell job, kids...Now let's swing the big finish!)

When he's downtown - I hear he causes a sensation.
Satin and lace - and lots of rouge on his face.
His sister cries - When boyfriend's ask, "Who is that blonde?!"
The bimbo in the tu-tu's no lady - She's my son!
In a tu-tu . . . In a tu-tu . . .
That's my boy!