Climbing a ladder to work on the roof
It wasn’t steady, thought I’d meet my doom
Fell to the ground, man I wasn’t feeling fine
I got to the hospital, “You’re patient number nine”

I told her “Ma’am, I’m hurtin’, I’m not sick
I fell straight down just like a ton of bricks”
“Here, fill out these forms, sir, you’ll have to wait in line”
Got internal bleeding…still patient number nine

Number one tripped on the ground, gave his knee a skid
And “poor old” seven got her hand stuck in oven mitt
How am I number nine!? I’m much worse than number six
I broke my nose, can’t feel my eyes, and here I sit…

I do not know if I will wait all night
I started bleeding, they asked “You alright?”
They asked if I could stop, you’re giving us a fright
I said “If I was patient one, not patient number nine!”

I crushed my toes, can’t feel my spine, and here I sit…

I begged them if I could be seen tonight
My left arm’s missing, they just said “Sit tight”
Been here for a week, and I barely moved in line
Doctors say I’m moving up, now patient number five

Was patient number nine
Now patient number five
I’m not feeling alright…