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Song Parodies -> "Ka-Boom (A Life Science Primer)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Chords

Parody Song Title:

"Ka-Boom (A Life Science Primer)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I'll admit to not paying nearly as much attention in science class as I could have (or should have...) But this is pretty much what I remember. (Sorry, Mrs. Kilpatrick!)
Bell’s ringing: ding dong, c-lang c-lang c-lang
Welcome, kids, to Science Class today!

Oh, life came from a stream (ka-boom)
After a mass of rock exploded up above (ka-boom)
And formed the solar systems space was barren of
Light began to gleam and dart
(What’s that? What’s that again? “ka-boom” and tell me what happened again?)

Long ago it seems (ka-boom)
The earth was covered with a thick primordial soup (ka-boom)
Some anaerobic cells amassed and formed a group
(and) then began to split apart.

And in time, they grew into
Creatures with some kind of spine (back-back-back-back-backbone)
Tons of fossils prove it’s true
Schools of fish, all different kinds

Then along a string (of) (ka-boom)
Specific sequences of random chance events,* (ka-boom)
The evolution of most everything commenced
In ocean depths, we had our start

ka-boom ka-boom: Epopelagic, Mesopelagic**
Boom, ka-boom: Bathypelagic, (A)bbysopelagic
Boom, ka-boom: all the way down to Hadopelagic, Boom!

Soon, ka-boom! Glaciers were warmed and some mountains were formed
ka-boom ka-boom: (The) sea level changed and the land re-arranged
ka-boom ka-boom: (are) you getting all this, ‘cause there will be a quiz -- ka-boom!

After fish and insects came
Reptiles, and dinosaurs, too
And the primates that science says
(Could) be Uncle Bob and Aunt Lou

It’s a funny thing (ka-boom)
to think of wearing fur and carrying a club (ka-boom)
And grunting incoherently at those you love
Doodling on walls for art

(insert prehistoric Caveman gibberish)

Did you ever dream
That all the people on the earth like me and you
Descended from a single scoop of primal goo?
Life came from a stream, sweethearts

*This is an actual quote from a life science website on the subject. It struck me funny.

** The zones of the ocean, which I learned from “Finding Nemo”. Who says TV isn’t educational?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great science lesson there, Fiddlegirl! Choice of OS fit well into this.
AFW - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Really great evoluting parody..
Old Man Ribber - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
No matter what views a person has concerning the origins of life and the universe, THIS creation shows conclusive proof of "intelligent (and hilarious) design." Well done, Fiddlegirl
Jason - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job!
TJC - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Primo primordial you with highest 'order' goo'sical storytellin', FG!
Andy Primus - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job on this - don't remember The Chords but I know the version by The Crew Cuts
Fiddlegirl - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, all! Andy: When I looked it up, I found the song credited to both groups. But from what I can gather, the Chords (a, um, "non-caucasian") group recorded it first, then The Crew Cuts did a bubblegum version. That one is probably heard most often.
Christie Marie M - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Well executed parody from Fiddlegirl the best parodist/biolgist! Great use of scientific terms in your parody as well! Funny and knowledgeable at the same time. Ode to the melting pot! "Ka-Boom!" goes those 5's!
Epipelagic Turtle - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
What are the odds of two parodies with the word "pelagic" in them appearing on the same day? Coincidence? Divine intervention?

This is a masterpiece, FG. To have parthenogenetically spawned two such in one day is evidence of a fertile mind. 555+++ .... while the * line isn't quite as oxymoronic as it first appears, "random chance" is definitely redundant, although commonly, frequently, and often seen on a number of occasions.
Fiddlegirl - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, CM!
TT: I got a kick out of that, too! They say great minds think alike, but in my case there's got to be some other explanation. ;) Giggles to "commonly, frequently, and often"... :D
alvin - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
science made fave of the day
(Chelonia) Mydas' Touch - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
The brain of a turtle is approximately the size of a pea (true), so perhaps it's a case of two pea-brains in a pod?
Cara(Mia)paced One - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Meant to say the first day that I got a Big Bang out of this.
Fiddlegirl - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin: You do me great honor, sir.
TT: Haha!! Gee, I wish I'd said that...
lifeliver - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Tommy Turtle sent me here after commenting on my 'Theory of Relativity' parody today, which is actually my maiden voyage in the world of amiright. Congratulations on this complex and ambitious piece. Lots of great wordplay - it's not easy to tell the story of life on earth in a few verses. All those multisyllabic eras really messed up my mind, but I refused to reach for the dictionary. The song you chose is one of the great doo-wop anthems of the 50s, and as you mentioned, the Chords had the critically ranking version and the Crewcuts kinda homogenized it for the pop market, as Pat Boone notoriously did to ('caucasively-challenged') Little Richard's 'Tutti Frutti'. It was quite a while since I'd heard it, so I went back and refreshed. I found it difficult to sing along and lost my place several times. I guess you'd have to play vocal coach if you ever wanted to hear it performed. I found the same problem with my 'relativity' parody. I can hear the phrasing in my head but I'm not sure others would get it right away. I would have to sing it for them. Anyway, thanks for making this and I'll look forward to seeing more of your work. I'm still learning to navigate the site right now.

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