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Song Parodies -> "If George Only Had A Brain"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had A Brain"

Original Performer:

The Cast Of Wizard Of Oz

Parody Song Title:

"If George Only Had A Brain"

Parody Written by:

Bill Jacobs

The Lyrics

After you read the lyrics to this brand new George Bush song parody, you can visit the link below to actually hear "George" sing it himself! Enjoy!
[I'm George W. Bush, and I approved this song...]

I could kill a couple minutes
Just talkin' to lieutenants
About Saddam Hussein
I could grasp what they were sayin'
And the dangerous game we're playin'
If I only had a brain

With my thoughts unconstipated
I'd be intellectual-lated,
And thinkin' without pain
Each executive decision
Would be based on more than wishin'
If I only had a brain

Oh, I could tell you why
Tax breaks just help the rich,
And how the war in Iraq was really "bait and switch"
Until I hit ... a little glitch

The dollar would have higher status,
The whole world wouldn't hate us
For being inhumane
I would calm the troubled waters
And my alcoholic daughters
If I only had a brain

I wouldn't screw up the environment
Or the money for retirement,
Like the liberals complain
I'd impress all my poo-poo'ers
Shock and awe the evildoers
If I had only had a brain

I'd pronoun-ci-cate much better
Honor liberties to the letter
With the folks that we detain
And when the world called me a "baddie"
I wouldn't run off to my daddy
If I only had a brain

Picture me on live TeeVee
Reporters buzz like bees
Askin' me about them WMD's
I hold my ground ... "they'll soon be found"

Still I'd admit that it's a tight race,
I'm between Iraq and a hard place
In this tough campaign
An' with the "Mission Unaccomplished"
You have no idea how I've wished
That I only had a brain

I wouldn't be a righteous phony
'Bout gays and matrimony,
For po-li-ti-cal gain
Despite the twisted words of preachers
I'd still honor all God's creatures
If I only had a brain
Now despite him bein' brainy,
I think I'd go and dump Dick Cheney
There's too much to explain
Michael Moore would not provoke me
Little pretzels wouldn't choke me
If I only had a brain

Big words wouldn't throw me curves
When I stand up to speak
I would master names like Aye, uh ... Ah-ru-gabbie,
Uh ... Ara-gombie, Ahbra-ga-babra
Aw, who the heck am I kidding?

So, when you vote come this November
It helps not to remember
I'm pretty much insane
His-to-ry will say that it's bizarre
And amazing I have come so far
For a man without a brain!
Now, take a few fun-filled minutes and listen toa rousing performance of this songas performed by the writer of the parody, Bill Jacobs:"If George Only Had A Brain," at The Official Bill Jacobs Web Site

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Sweet Indigo - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh gosh, funny stuff. I love the rhymes especially. I liked the little WMD's bridge. This certainly made me chuckle, well done.
Michael O'Rourke - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Your song is wonderful and I had the pleasure of hearing you sing it. It was perfect.
John Barry - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Whatever it takes ti get him out. If it takes more of this, BRING IT ON!
Johnny D - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
A lot of work obviously went into satire!
Leo Jay - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment
The 'pronounciate' and Abu Ghraib bits are choice.
Robert J. Pagliaro - July 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Nicely done. I still don't understand how the election is a dead heat - one of the worst presidents in our history and he may get re-(s)elected. Bob (member of the Committee to Re-Defeat Bush in '04)
Ms Daisy Lynn Carol (Owatonna, MN) - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Way great! Way fun. And right on! Love it, from Ms D in Mn
Wendy Izzo - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Everytime I think of George W. the lyrics, "if I only had a brain" always came into my head. Thank you for this, it's excellent and SO true!!!

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