I saw a man today, oh boy!
He had some extra fingers on his hands.
And though the plane had lots of room
He sat right next to me-e-e.
Why should I be so lucky?

I skidded off the icy road.
All the past sickness flashed before my eyes.
A hundred people drove on by
As I fell out the door.
It seemed like no one even noticed anything happened at all!

I tried to bowl today, oh boy!
The first frame was my only strike today.
A crowd of people turned away
As I slid down the lane
Headed toward the pins!
I'd love to kill them all!

{instrumental break}

Woke up, fell out of bed.
The lamp came down upon my head!
Found my way downstairs via a bar of soap.
Broke my elbows though my hands were pretty clean!

Found my coat in someone's lap
I can't take much more of this crap!
Found my way upstairs by feeling along the rail.
Stuck my head outside and had it pounded in by hail!

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

I'd had my fill today, oh boy!
Hundreds of people were lying around.
Fell off the raft, went under fast!
When I came up at last
Everybody made believe I wasn't even there at all!
I'd love to burn you all! {instrumental ending}