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Song Parodies -> "Boozy-Woozy Floozie Ho (From Clacton-On-Sea)"

Original Song Title:

"Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Andrews Sisters

Parody Song Title:

"Boozy-Woozy Floozie Ho (From Clacton-On-Sea)"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

She was an Essex strumpet living East of Bill'ricay
She had a lack of style and she went all the way
With the guys all round the town
And when a member came up you can guess what'd go down
Bet she's with somebody now, a-blowin' merrily
Not a choosy doozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

She used to walk the streets when all the tourists came
Her parents never knew that she was on the game
But soon it got way out of hand
Because she's out with the girls, a-drinking 'til she can't stand
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-drinking heavily
She's a boozy doozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

A-toot a-toot, a-toot diddle-a-dealer-toot
She blows 'em eight at a time - so entertaining
She can blow a goat when drinking lager and lime
Or when cocaining
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-mainlining on E
No excus-ee boozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

She' a jacuzzi woozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea
And when she blows boogie-woogie bugle
She's a-busy with the jizzy, she
And when she plays she makes her company jump straight to the bar
Not a choosy boozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

Toot toot toot, toot diddle-a-dealer-toot-diddle-her-dealer, toot toot
She blows it late in the bar
She won't blow a stoat
'Cause it's way too bizarre, and too draining
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-blowing readily
She's a boozy-woozy floozie ho of Clacton-on-Sea

[boogie-woogie bugle solo]

She puts the boys to sleep, this floozie every night
And wakes them up the same way in the early bright
The clap and crabs and spirochetes
Because she's sharing 'em all
And she does not give receipts
And then she's drinkin'-it-up, another G & T
She's a doozy boozy floozie ho of Clacton-on-Sea

La-la, no lah-di-dah
Dada, she-do-Dada
Baa-baa, boo-bee baa-baa
Gaga, so gaga
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-weaving endlessly
She's the boozy, woozy floozy ho from Clacton-on-Sea


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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Limewire was no help with TOS but I'll trust you on the pacing here on this yet another excellent take on one of you favourite (?) subjects! 555 hours to go before you realise you have to go to the free clinic! :-)
alvin - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
my fave of the day...raucous fun
John Barry - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Spirochetes and stoats--a fabulous first, I believe.
MrMacphisto - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Yo ho ho and 15 bottles of rum...
Kristof Robertson - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Ahhhh, Clacton! A town that makes southend look classy....great observational humour here Phil....but Essex girls are SUCH an easy target. What next? the Beastie Boys classic, "No Sleep Til Basildon"? 555
stuart mcarthur - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
"And she does not give receipts" LOL! - love it! - the exquisite rhymes/pacing reminded me of your recent SOTM entry about the badly dressed daughter (was it to "Puttin On The Ritz"?) - you are a wordsmith and a poet Phil - 555
Phil Alexander - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
:-D Thanks everyone
Kristof - I actually went all the way round the coast, knowing there had to be "Something-on-sea" that would work: that it turned out to be in Essex was kind of inevitable, I guess.
Stu - I assume you mean "Everything Shows" to "Anything Goes" - I was kind of pleased with that one, too :-) But a poet? You're too kind. Way too kind.
Johnny D - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Great job, Philbo -- I can see why all those place-names in Britain end in "sex"! ;-)
Jeff Reuben - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent job, fun read!

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