She was an Essex strumpet living East of Bill'ricay
She had a lack of style and she went all the way
With the guys all round the town
And when a member came up you can guess what'd go down
Bet she's with somebody now, a-blowin' merrily
Not a choosy doozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

She used to walk the streets when all the tourists came
Her parents never knew that she was on the game
But soon it got way out of hand
Because she's out with the girls, a-drinking 'til she can't stand
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-drinking heavily
She's a boozy doozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

A-toot a-toot, a-toot diddle-a-dealer-toot
She blows 'em eight at a time - so entertaining
She can blow a goat when drinking lager and lime
Or when cocaining
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-mainlining on E
No excus-ee boozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

She' a jacuzzi woozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea
And when she blows boogie-woogie bugle
She's a-busy with the jizzy, she
And when she plays she makes her company jump straight to the bar
Not a choosy boozy floozie ho from Clacton-on-Sea

Toot toot toot, toot diddle-a-dealer-toot-diddle-her-dealer, toot toot
She blows it late in the bar
She won't blow a stoat
'Cause it's way too bizarre, and too draining
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-blowing readily
She's a boozy-woozy floozie ho of Clacton-on-Sea

[boogie-woogie bugle solo]

She puts the boys to sleep, this floozie every night
And wakes them up the same way in the early bright
The clap and crabs and spirochetes
Because she's sharing 'em all
And she does not give receipts
And then she's drinkin'-it-up, another G & T
She's a doozy boozy floozie ho of Clacton-on-Sea

La-la, no lah-di-dah
Dada, she-do-Dada
Baa-baa, boo-bee baa-baa
Gaga, so gaga
And now she's drunk-as-a-skunk, a-weaving endlessly
She's the boozy, woozy floozy ho from Clacton-on-Sea