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Song Parodies -> "Don't Masturbate Me, Oh My Darlin'"
Original Song Title:
"Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin'"
Original Performer:
Tex Ritter
Parody Song Title:
"Don't Masturbate Me, Oh My Darlin'"
Parody Written by:
Bill Hodgson
The Lyrics
Theme music to High Noon (1952) starring Gary Cooper
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Before our wedding day
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Wait, wait along
I can’t commit the sin of Onan
I only know that I must wait
Until that ring is on my finger
Or die a sinner, a craven sinner
Or die a sinner in my grave
Oh, to be torn twixt sin and duty
Supposin' I love my fair haired beauty
Lookin’ at your hand movin' round
Nearin' my crotch
I made a vow to blessed Jesus
My life would be free of sin
I’m not afraid to wait but oh
What will I do if you leave me?
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Promise to wait till you’re my bride
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Although you're lustin', don't think of bustin'
So we can lay this sin aside
Wait along, wait along
Wait along, wait along
Before our wedding day
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Wait, wait along
I can’t commit the sin of Onan
I only know that I must wait
Until that ring is on my finger
Or die a sinner, a craven sinner
Or die a sinner in my grave
Oh, to be torn twixt sin and duty
Supposin' I love my fair haired beauty
Lookin’ at your hand movin' round
Nearin' my crotch
I made a vow to blessed Jesus
My life would be free of sin
I’m not afraid to wait but oh
What will I do if you leave me?
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Promise to wait till you’re my bride
Don’t masturbate me, oh my darling
Although you're lustin', don't think of bustin'
So we can lay this sin aside
Wait along, wait along
Wait along, wait along
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