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Song Parodies -> "Big Brother"

Original Song Title:

"My Brother"

Original Performer:

Terry Scott

Parody Song Title:

"Big Brother"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

To all those who DKTOS, it's here on youtube - and worth a listen even if you don't want to read the parody. I finished all the sung bits aeons ago, but haven't managed to do the spoken sections to anything like the meter of the original... if you've listened to the OS by now, you'll understand why.
4, so what's on telly, channel 4. What're you watching?
Oh, no, it's... you can't really be watching this rubbish!
I'm gonna tell the truth about this pile of claptrap
'Ere, please will you turn off the TV, I've just 'ad my breakfast,
Thank you.

What's the worst of Channel 4?
What's a real mind-numbing bore?
What is utterly piss-poor? Big Brother

What's a show that's really shite
With fame-seekers who ain't that bright
What's on every ****ing night?... Big Brother!

Big Brother (and you know it's true)
You watch, hoping they're gonna screw...
Big Brother lowers your IQ – Big Brother's brainless.

What drives me right up the wall?
What's worth is infinitely small?
What should not be on at all?... Big Brother!

Well, anything would be better, 4, anything. The "Eurovision
Song Contest", "Kilroy" or even "Davina"
We could have new shows
Mud-wrestling octupi, could be one
Live earthworm eating
Dung-beetle racing
You know, compared to Big Brother, even watching paint dry is...
"Reality TV".. reality really isn't that interesting

What's a house that's full of freaks,
Self-absorbed mindless pipsqueaks?
Still goes on for ****ing weeks?... Big Brother!

Which show would I like to scrap?
Although I'm no censorious chap
But honestly, it's ****ing crap... Big Brother!

Big Brother isn't just a game
For pricks wanting their minute's fame
Big Brother's oh, so very lame
But you know that it's very cheap to make, don't ya?

Why'd we have this whole affair?
Why can't they take it off the air?
Why can they not show
Football, ludo, snakes & ladders, 'ide & seek,
Playing tiddlywinks in the cellar with the lights off
Well, anything would be better, but it's cheaper than...
Well, cheaper than 'bout everything...
It's trashy. Ha Ha.

Big b****y, ****ing brother.

Come on, come on mate, let's turn this telly off before our brains
Leak out through our ears. My mind is going, Dave, I can feel it.
'Ere, 'ere.. it's the bland leading the bland.
Channel 4!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Was unfamiliar with the OS... thanks for the link... Nice sub here with jaunty snarky refrain perfect for you intended target... I presume your UK version is equally daft! Although... a few of the players do have that uber-manipulative, evil genius air about them!
Phil Alexander - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
I should think pretty much everybody's unfamiliar with the OS - a 50s hit for a very young Terry Scott (who went on to be a comic actor of some renown).. I was pleasantly surprised to find it on youtube, thinking that it would be a dim and distant memory only (and I couldn't remember half of the words, it was over 25 years since the last time I'd heard the song). I really don't know about the players on BB, though: I've not watched the show for long enough to see any of them do anything of any interest whatsoever.
Andy Primus - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Couldn't agree more with what you've written. My partner loves it but I can't stand it. She watches all sorts of crap from Coronation Street to Eastenders & I read a book or go on the computer but when it comes to BB I just can't be in the same room. When she wants her fix of attention seeking dickheads she now watches it in the spare room. Anyway, why is it called reality TV, it's not any kind of reality that I know of. If everyone behaved like that we'd all be a bunch of Billy-no-mates. True reality would be pulling up a chair outside your neighbour's front room window & watching them while they watch TV & eat their dinner - and it would probably be more interesting. Ban it is what I say & ban it now.

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